Lakefront Discovery Run - Run15k

Wow. Last year, I did this race in a less prohibitive psycho clown costume with a metal Zima bottle placard. That costume was cake compared to this thing. I weighed it upon getting home and the head, arm and leg armor and cod piece was about 6 pounds. I think about 3 or 4 of that was the head, a huge face with horns and a beard. Mrs Yams was even so kind as to braid the eyebrows of the mask so i could see a little better. I was also carrying a 4 foot long plastic sword, so we started way at the back so as not to whap anyone with it.

Whereas last year was a very casual and social pace to start out, the mask prohibited little more than trying to find a comfortable way to breath and not wiping out. There were some words exchanged with others, but usually it was just the sound of my breathing. As things started to open up a little bit, Rob and I picked it up a little. The mask was sort of settling its weight on the bridge of my nose, effectively making me a mouth breather until I figured out how to tilt the head slightly down. This gave me a whopping 3x4 pocket of space to inhale and exhale the stale hot air that stunk of rubber and rather quickly became a swamp of sweat. I wanted to keep things around 7:30 to 8 so Rob wouldnt get too bored but I think he was entertained by the labored breathing and profanity as the miles s l o w l y clicked by.

About the 4.25 mark, I had to take the mask off and get some fresh air. I could feel some slight tunnel vision or something from too rich a pace in the costume. I felt slightly better after running about a half mile without the mask to catch my breath and get my face out of the stink pit. The thumbs up from spectators and awe by little kids were well worth throwing the thing back on and sucking it up. About mile 7 I needed a good mile to ease back and my HR remained jacked after blowing it probably within the first mile. Rob was happily jaunting along breathing fresh fall air in his Mr Fantastic get up as I was lugging this freaking thing along. I did tell him at one point to zip ahead, but he was committed to sherpaing my arse for the duration. We eased back to around 8-8:15s and headed down the home stretch.

Some dude made a comment as he was being passed about not being near him at the finish, implying he was gonna take a swipe or something if he was near, obviously a small dick issue or something. We passed by him and had a decent lead, but I unlike him hit the beer table a half mile from the finish. After slamming some not to great tasting (cept free beer is never bad in theory) beer and seeing him turn the corner, I informed Yams the guy had a target on his back and must be passed. I proceeded to try and muster anything I could in this shit-tank of a costume and between that and being redlined for over an hour now, I had to call it off or risk some kind of heart explosion. Every douche has his day I guess and was not passed by the tool in a viking costume.

We rounded the final stretch and I was brandishing the sword high in the air to the joy of the crowd. We crossed the line and I got the mask off ASAP, grabbed some water and grub and chatted with some other Donks. I had a lot of peeps ask to take pics or give props for running a 15k in that thing. Yams heard a lot of comments as we were passing folks to. Freakin glory whore I am I guess. EEEEAAAWWW!!!!

splits:
912
800
740
830
743
745
814
759
900 (beer stop)
.39 @ 809

I could say not run in a viking costume, but I had my heart set on running in this pig as I ran the race last year. I knew it was gonna suck, but having Yams there to push pace make it really suck. Maybe some bodyglide for areas that rubbed the mask to the face as there are a few abrasions that will need a few days to heal up.

Some food and then hit the Ale House for some post race beer. The Donks that were there did a great job of scoping out where the free beer tap was and setting up a camp. Noice!


6 pounds of viking, breathing in hot rubber repeatedly in a 3x4 pocket of stank.


Pretty bare bones, but price is right and free beer afterwards. Whats not to like?