Dawn of a New Species - Homo Reclinus

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The hallmark of a new species is physical adaptations, and H. Reclinus is beginning to display a number of these. He shows a greatly increased amount of body fat and pasty skin tone.

It is my firm belief that we are at the cusp; ready to witness the birth of a new species. Darwin's theory allows for the gradual evolution of a species. We are seeing that today. Pending further review by the scientific community I am naming this new species Homo Reclinus (v. American Man). This is, at current time, a subspecies of Homo Erectus (Heidelberg Man), but my observations suggest that the behavioral and now physical changes in the new group will soon cross the threshold and an entirely new species will emerge.

For all but the last 200 years, mankind has been of one group, Homo Sapiens—a direct descendent of Homo Erectus and identical in all motor details with his ancient ancestors. He walked upright, propelled under his own power. He generally spent his whole life in a small communal area, though certain nomadic groups were known to range over wide territories. There were certain groups that used domesticated animals to aid in movement, but this was in addition to bipedal motion, not a replacement for it. Homo Sapiens would not think twice about walking distances ten miles or more in the course of the day. The advent of mass transportation allowed him to widen his range but did not alter his basic mode of transport. However the invention of personal automated transport machines started him on the road (no pun intended) to certain evolutionary changes. This has happened most rapidly in North America, so I will focus there.

What are the differences shown by Homo Reclinus?

Behavioral differences are always the first to appear. On my many forays into his habitat I have observed the following. H. Reclinus seldom ventures out into the natural world. He prefers to have some form of shelter between himself and the outdoors. On a recent four hour trip covering some 15 miles, I observed only four Reclinus in the out-of-doors. All four were apparently involved with some type of home maintenance within 50 feet of their primary shelter and were clearly uncomfortable. They displayed a heightened sense of awareness. My attempts to engage them in conversation sent them inside to look for tools or perhaps a weapon.

H. Reclinus is known to move over a vast territory, but during all of this movement he is enveloped in a machine that is designed to shield him from the outside world. He enters this machine from a specialized structure known as a garage which is attached to his primary dwelling and moves out on well-maintained paths of asphalt, arrives at his destination, parks the machine and hurries inside. I have observed repeatedly that he seems to be very uncomfortable if he cannot find a place to park within 100 feet of his destination. One Reclinus was observed circling for over 30 minutes waiting to pounce on a prime “parking” space.

The hallmark of a new species is physical adaptations, and H. Reclinus is beginning to display a number of these. He shows a greatly increased amount of body fat, a pasty skin tone and an amplified proclivity towards violence. Noted anthropologist Richard Simmons has published several documentaries displaying fully evolved Reclinus. Some titles include "800 pound women confined to home" and "Thousand pound man cannot move from bed". The formerly prominent self-propelled species of human is very rare in North America, and I think I am the first to recognize this as a true dawn of a new species.


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date: September 3, 2005