Ladies, do you think it's coincidental...

Yes, simple. Men have a basic set of instructions handed to them at birth and we tend to live in simplicity itself. At the risk of being chastized for leaking the guidelines, here is a list of things that we believe in:



Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Check your oil! Please.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Max! You are a soothe!! Must have been all that time spent as MAXINE that led you to all that insight!

Made me smile on a day...w/o much of that, thanks.

LOL Renee...I don't know where I got those "rules", but they were emailed to me a while back. Fortunately non of them pertain to my wife! I have a separate list of "Women's Rules", along the same vein that I'll post one of these days when the circumstance warrants!