The big dilemma (Page 2)

I've yet to get to be the one that makes the decision to break up - I have a bad habit of hanging in too long. But in retrospect, things that have made me realize it wasn't a mistake to break up:

-- Complete & total lack of interest in anything I'm doing (that was my ex-h, he really was a jerk there towards the end...)
-- Trying to "fix" me. I'm not broken, thanks.
-- Whiners. Look, I don't want to feel like I can't have a bad day cause your day is always worse - and I don't want to not be able to enjoy a really good day cause your day sucked.

I've kind of come to the conclusion I'm probably better off single - I push myself harder, do more, acheive more, and generally love life. In the past, I've tended to just stagnate in relationships... It's a good thing to know if I ever actually find myself on a third date...

That would be a deal-breaker for me.

You feel like you're in a rut and you feel more like friends than lovers...how long have you felt this way? I ask this because there are always cycles where you love the SO more and when you love him less. Are you two headed in the right direction (together, goals, etc)? Do you push each other? Are you just getting antsy? Are you staying with him because it's comfortable? All important questions for you to answer. Even though you should want to jump his bones still, the friendship element also has to be there.
In the end, even if the sex is great and we're friends, if we are just not headed in the right direction, it's not going to work out. Ex: 33 year old bartender, got a tattoo of a naked lady in a martini glass with playing cards. Once he got the tattoo, I knew it was over. All kidding aside, take some time to yourself and figure out what you want. If you see your life with him in it, then stick it out. If not, then break it. Laura, do it clean. None of this "friends" bullshit because it just kills everyone in the end.
Woah, soapbox. Really smarting still from a tough breakup, so I got lots of advice

Good luck!

Edited by vmr719 2005-11-05 3:56 PM

My ex-wife and I were seperated and close to finalizing the divorce but I wasn't willing to admit failure and that it was time to throw in the towel despite everyone else telling me it was well beyond time to do it, but what finally did it for me was when I asked the question of myself....
"knowing what I know of her now, would I marry her again?". When I realized the answer was NO, I knew it was time.....