Team Horny Melons (Four-Is-More Challenge) (Page 25)

Speechless with awe was putting it nicely. If you knew what I was actually thinking, you'd really be blushing and fleeing the room.

Do tell!

Sometimes life sucks...

I just had to run inside.  My little sister was having bad seizures again.  This is something that happens daily.  I had to give her some nasty meds-via anus.  I feel bad that she has to go through this at all-let alone daily. 

D001 - 2008-09-05 4:05 PM

mchally - 2008-09-05 7:01 PM Someday I will get myself in trouble-acting like these posts are private conversations.

What? They're NOT private? Oh. Whoops............

especially when I tell my friends that I have a blog and that they should check out some of the fun forums. 

I am just asking for trouble.  

As if full time care of my sister is not enough for my mom, my dad developed Multiple Systems Atrophy a few years back.  Basically it started like parkinsons and then turned really nasty.  Sometime in the next year he will be needing full time care also.  I may be moving back home for a couple years to assist until my dad passes. 

I am hoping that he doesn't live for more than a few more years. I will be sad to lose him, but he wouldn't have to go through as much that way.  This disease has no effect on his mental abilities-but takes away everything else.

Melissa--you truly are an angel. For your family, unbelievably so, and to me, and probably everybody you touch.

It is just how I am.  I feel guilty when I could be helping someone and don't.  The whole servants heart thing-it keeps me busy.

Thank you for being a buddy  

oh my, i think i may have blacked out there for a second, and when i came to i was licking the screen!! suddenly i'm very hungry, and i need to go hunt me up a melon!!

i think maybe i'll reciprocate, but you'll have to wait till i put my kids to bed oh yeah, it's picture time!!

Now Lyssa-what did you do that for?  I went back to check the original post and now I am throughly distracted again.

melissa, i'm so sorry, i hadn't read your post yet when i said that, i in NO way meant to take away from your pain, i can't imagine being in your position.

i just read something outrageously funny though, and if i can find it again (it's just one of those things that floats around on the internet, i have no idea if it's true or not, but i don't care, it's dang hilarious) i'll copy and paste it on here for ya.

  Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his
  lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this.         
                                                                           
  Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked  
  my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for 
  a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a     
  100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were    
  supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your     
  assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??         
                                                                           
  'WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
                                                                           
  I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.      
  Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the    
  button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get  
  the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.   
                                                                           
  AWESOME!!!                                                               
                                                                           
  Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on  
  the face of her microwave.                                               
                                                                           
  Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it  
  couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?        
                                                                           
  There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting  
  little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I      
  really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.    
                                                                           
  I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) 
  and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to
  give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did    
  want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?        
                                                                           
  So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading       
  glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one   
  hand, and taser in another.                                              
                                                                           
  The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient    
  your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms   
  and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would           
  purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of    
  water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the          
  batteries.? ? All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring  
  about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really   
  and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 
  "no possible way!"                                                       
                                                                           
  What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...? 
  ? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one 
  side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one- second burst 
  from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided  
  to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the     
  prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .                    
                                                                           
  HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!                         
                                                                           
  I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up
  in the recliner , then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over 
  and over again.                                                          
                                                                           
  I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears  
  in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to 
  be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position,  
  and tingling in my legs?                                                 
                                                                           
  The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard     
  before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again,  
  stupid, do it again!"                                                    
                                                                           
  Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note
  of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap    
  yourself!                                                                
                                                                           
  You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by
  a violent thrashing about on the floor.                                  
                                                                           
  A three-second burst would be considered conservative?                   
                                                                           
  SON-OF-A-... That hurt like **% !!! A minute or so later (I can't be     
  sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits   
  (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent     
  reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up 
  there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.  
  My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip   
  weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles! I'm offering a       
  significant reward for their safe return!! Still in shock!               
                                                                           
  P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it

I was not hurt by your post or the photos...my mind just wandered somewhere that I didn't want it to go.

I was thinking along the same lines...I am not a big fan of my abs right now. They will be my new avatar if we do not win the challenge.

-but I didn't mean the man melon part...that would be hard for me to pull off( and Dee might pull the thread if I tried to bare my chest).  

ohhhh, come on now!! i was going to post pictures of myself in the bath tub after my kids go to bed, but if YOU'RE not going to post, maybe i'm too shy too!!

I guess I'll post if you do too....

           but not bare!
 

I checked back-I might be able to manage to reveal as much as mike does...

Although he set a high standard.