Depression and Moods- Check in! (Page 28)

TriAya - 2010-10-26 10:54 AM Hi all! Firenze, Reeeesa, JoseyWales ... thanks for checking in.

It's not that one's own struggles are harder or not than anyone else's ... it's just our own stuff and what we get to deal with.

I'm in a great place despite having been seriously ill for over a month now. What that tells me is that I can feel okay ... even if I'm not!

Many things have helped me immensely. The top four are 1) support group, 2) gratitude, 3) writing therapy, and 4) meditation.

I've found even if I can do nothing and want to do nothing and care about nothing on any given day, I can still do #4, even if just for a few minutes, and it does help.

You forgot #5 - TAN!
Oh, and #6 - *MELON PRESSES*

We LOF Yanti!

JoseyWales - 2010-10-27 1:27 AM

Hmm...I never thought of tanning!! I wonder if 10 minutes in a coffin of lights would overheat me!

JoseyWales - 2010-10-26 12:27 PM

Hmm...I never thought of tanning!! I wonder if 10 minutes in a coffin of lights would overheat me!

Hmm...I never thought of tanning!! I wonder if 10 minutes in a coffin of lights would overheat me!

JoseyWales - 2010-10-27 1:50 AM

While tanning may help...they were speaking of the "TAN" thread in COJ

Tiffanator - 2010-10-27 10:39 AM Haven't read the whole thread but wanted to check in. New here, suffered with anxiety, panic disorder and depression for most of my life. Hoping that exercise and setting goals for myself will help me control the anxiety and curb my depression.

jspelay - 2010-10-28 7:34 PM Just checking in for the first time... I havnt been posting much on BT lately, been kinda isolating myself too much lately and figure its time to start getting out and about again so to speak.

My wife and I separated in late august and that has sent me into a severe depression.  I have been seeing a psycologist and we have concluded that I have ben suffering frm depression for a very long time.  Turns out that has had a lot to do with the breakdown of my marriage and a lot of things in my life.  I ended up at the emergency department a month ago, I just couldnt function any more.  They started me on Effexor and things are starting to look up.

I still want to save my marriage.  It just seems so hopeless and I dont know what the future will hold.  I am having a hard time thinking through the fog but the weight on my chest is a little lighter every day.



... and staying outta TAN may be a good idea... gets pretty inapropriate over there and can get you into trouble... it did me.

TriAya - 2010-10-27 10:14 PM Hey all! Great to see you Tiffany and good to see people checking in.

I'm still doing really well personally. One thing that's been very gratifying about my own journey of health is that even when everyone and everything around me seems to be going nuts, I can hang on to a (somewhat) even keel.

As some of you may have read we've got some very sad tragedies going on in Indonesia. I come from a well-known family here. The upside is that we can usually get involved in relief efforts quickly. The downside is that we've been raised to deeply care about our fellow Indonesians--my father fought in the revolution to create this country and has been a lifelong politician--and I need/want to learn how to do so without letting it affect me so much. My heart is very very heavy. Maybe that is a good thing.

And this seems like such a teeny thing, but a puppy starved to death on my street this week. We have tons of feral dogs in Bali--this sort of thing happens all the time--when I last saw it it was quite thin but scrappy and managing. The other day it was staggering in the street, a wrecked bag of bones, and I feel so deeply guilty for not having taken it in before. I don't know why, but certain images--certain dogs--stick in my mind and I can't seem to let this one go.

Finally, coming from one of THOSE families ... someone is always plotting against someone and trying to steal or undermine or even kill someone. This issue has come up again this week, and it just adds to the general ridiculousness.

I'm having a hard time coping--again, it seems I'm doing great personally, but my body is still very tired from being sick so long, and it's such a whirlwind going on around me.

One way I cope is: what can I feasibly do TODAY? What MUST I absolutely do today, and, if that gets done, great, if not, find a way to do it tomorrow (or fix it)? I have an appt with my psychiatrist tonight, and even that is not essential (rescheduling simply means I'll have to come to his open hours instead and wait forever).

If I make it over to the psych's, on the way, there's a couple of things I can easily arrange and deliver for tsunami relief, and buy a birthday gift for a friend.

Those are my big plans for the day

Thanks for letting me share

ETA: The death of the open-water swimming champion Fran Crippen also has me in knots. I don't know why this is affecting me so deeply as well--there are peripheral reasons, like I know people who know him, that I've become involved with the OWS worldwide community (a small and crazy bunch for sure) after my race this summer, that Bali Tri Club was wanting to make connections and support with endurance athletes in the UAE, which WAS trying to establish itself as an Asian mecca of sorts for that ... but it just really seems like there was gross negligence in this race, in itself inexcusable, and that it may have contributed to his death is appalling.

1stTimeTri - 2010-10-28 10:55 PM

*HUG*

TriAya - 2010-10-28 9:08 AM

Yes, but I have missed you, Jamie piglet! {{{MELON PRESS}}}

It's so good to hear from you, and I'm glad you're working things out. Very good call going to the ED. Been there, done that.

SWIM2LIVE - 2010-11-29 10:05 PM It feels so hard to say this out loud, but I had my first failure at basically anything last month.   Almost all my live I have been able to work hard and find success at nearly everything I attempted.  Not this time though. 

I DNF at the Las Vegas 1/2 Silverman, our version of Iron Man.  The swim was great, and the first 37 miles was tough but doable.  Then my stomach was in my throat.  Every breath felt like vomit coming to the top.

I had another 20 miles to go and then the 13.1 mile run.  And the thoughts were controlling my body and my mind.  "You can't do this, you can't do this"

I listened and gave in to the voices.  Different voices than I used to hear telling me to end it all, but still the voice of that same negative beast.

I gave up.  I stopped, sick yes, but I stopped and did not finish.

The feeling of failure was overwhelming and continues now almost two weeks later.

I was going to run the 1/2 marathon this coming Sunday, as a "get back on the horse" type of thing, but I just can't.

I'm worried that my racing days may be over as is my confidence.

Not really looking for the atta boy support.  Just saying it out loud hoping I can kick myself in the butt.

Thanks for letting me vent.

JoseyWales - 2010-11-30 9:39 AM

But the fact that you trained for a HIM distance, and started it, and went that far--that is NOT a psychological failure.... Let yourself be disapopinted, then let it go. There are LOTS more races in which to smash that DNF out of the bleeping water!

sappho96 - 2010-11-27 6:15 PM

hey strangers

thought i'd pop in as i've been struggling with low mood over the past few weeks. i get seasonal affective disorder and it's biting my a$$ hard at the moment. i am very lucky as i have invested in a great hi lux visor but it's still only two days into treatment so things are tough.

i've been getting cognitive behavioural therapy for the past few months and it has been helping but my low mood is severely impacting on it's effectiveness. my psychologist thinks the issues making my mood drop still need some counselling, but tbh i don't think they do. it's just a case off with my mood low this sort of thing causes me distress when normally it wouldn't.

i thinking of postponing my cbt until after xmas as i know as soon as that is over (and more importantly the shortest day has passed) i tend to feel better anyhow.

any thoughts?