I'm Bored (Page 3)

Hell I don't care if he borrowed the clothes from the bum that hangs out outside of the novelty shop! They're gonna come off anyhow....

You haven't had a date in awhile, have you?

Dogs are for pre-rinse only. You nasty slob.

Sure I have.  I just don't tell them how I get my dishes so sparkly clean

OMG, now I totally know what you were talking about re: getting hiccups from holding in laughs!!! LOL!

Nope.  They can't smell it over the copious amounts of Drakkar Noir and scented candles.

Now that's just plain mean...

Dogs have many more uses than just pre-rinse!  Sheesh...

But it matches his bike!

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See Renee's above post about how vastly different women are from one another. THAT'S why you men can never "figure us out", you're trying to approach us as a group of clones!

That said, it sounds like you and Chuck need to do a "Wife Swap".

The question remains: how are you gonna get your hands in the right place if they smell like dog?!

Hear hear Chucky! Makes me tired just thinking about it. Add to that a single man's perspective and the open ended question of whether were gonna get that 5 in the first place. How about this: "I don't have sex on the first or second date - I want to, but you'll have to wait," - CODE  I wanna have 3 more dates at a minimum of 100 bucks a pop and might get shitty with attitude because Thomas expects something in return. Careful sugar. 

Since this is a no pc boy/girl zone, I'll give it to you straight: I have had 5 minutes sex. I have also had 2 hour sex. A lot has to do with equal participation. If honey wants to play and fool around and get slick for an hour or two, I'm game. But if the whiner just wants to sit there while I do my business, I don't have a lot of sympathy for the complaint. If you don't wanna contribute, fine, put your ass in the air, your head in the pillow and lemme bust one out.

You want me to ring your little bell? No problem, I'll right yours if you ring mine, and ringing mine means you have to get involved you lazy sod.

You wanna know why men like to slap you on the ass? It's not a power thing and it's not even an ownership thing. It's becasue we want you to move your ass.

"You see the point? To you, it's five minutes. But for us, all the effort leading up to climax was work. Those 4 hours of time spent plus another four hours of salary lost, you've netted eight hours and five minutes. Don't you feel selfish and cheap? err, expensive?"

---my favorite part about the err, expensive ladies is when one unabashedly claims "I'm high maintainence!" as if it's a badge of honor. The equivelant male boast would be along the lines of "I am a complete slob and hope you will eventually do all my laundry and dishes" (both are true, you are high mainainence and he probably is a slob, but don't brag about it and certainlly not on a fist date, for shits sake). High mainainence? Go find a maintainence man. Women wonder why men don't call. It's because lying to you about how we feel and what we think and propping up your fragile ego and litening to how barbie at work was catty with ellen who hates ashley who might be quitting because ellen's immagined PMS is out of control is exhausting...

With all the work, from approaching and risking rejection all the way through lying to you about how much we love you, the least you can to is break a sweat 

Whoa. Welshy wins the offensive contest....

Well, there's your problem. She's sore from riding the damn horse and 5 minutes is all she can stand. The solution is obvious: kill the horse.

Hey, Welshy, you're the one choosing the women. I mean, they aren't forcing you to date them are they? So choose more wisely! If you keep dating high maintenance women, then I would argue that you are drawn to high maintenance women. Sucker!

And that's "put your FINE ass up in the air" to you.

Edited for little gender typo there.