1stTimeTri - 2008-01-08 8:25 AM
JOKE TIME:
Tom finally decides to take a vacation. He books
himself on a Caribbean
cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life -
until the boat sank.
He found himself swept up on the shore of an island
with no other people, no
supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach
one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In
disbelief, he asks her, "Where
did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed over from the other side of the island,"
she says. "I landed here
when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a
rowboat wash up with
you."
"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat
out of raw material found
on the island. I whittled the oars from gum tree
branches; I wove the bottom
from palm branches; and the sides and stern came
from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But ... but ... that's impossible," stutters Tom.
"You had no tools or
hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, no problem," replies the woman. "On the South
side of the island, there
is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.
I found if I fired it to
a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into
forgeable ductile iron. I
used that for tools and used the tools to make the
hardware." Tom is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat
at a small wharf.
As Tom looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the
boat. Before him is a
stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted
in blue and white. While
the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly
woven hemp rope, he can only
stare ahead, dumbstruck.
As they walk into the house, she says casually,
"It's not much, but I call
it home. Sit down, please. Would you like to have a
drink?"
"No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't
take any more coconut
juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I
built a still. How about a
Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts,
and they sit down on her
hand-woven couch to talk. After they have exchanged
their stories, the woman
announces, "I'm going to slip into something more
comfortable. Would you
like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor
upstairs in the cabinet in the
bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, Tom goes into the
bathroom. There, in the
cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two
shells honed to a
hollow-ground edge are fastened on to its end
inside of a swivel mechanism. "WOW! This
woman is amazing," he muses, "what next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing 'nothing
but vines' strategically
positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She
beckons for him to sit down
next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering
closer to him, "We've been
out here for a really long time. I know you've been
lonely. There's something
I'm sure you really feel like doing right now,
something you've been longing
for all these months. You know..."
She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's
hearing!
"You mean;,..." he swallows excitedly, "We can
watch the Packer game from
here?
Did you take that out of my hotmail acct.? Funny, it circulated through LSU fans last week but "Tom" was T-boy Boudreaux and the it was the LSU game instead of Packers