medic0020's Group - CLOSED--BUSTIN AT THE SEAMS (Page 44)

 Please do (and yes I love the group too!). We were at MD Anderson all day today and the news was worse than we thought. The doc showed us the CT Scans. There are multiple spots on her liver - not just one - and are clearly visible even to me. And there are many spots on both lungs - too many to count. They are all small, but there are a bunch. This doc who is usually very upbeat actually leveled with us on an "intellectual level," as he put it. Stef and I are very much realist. While not giving up, it's hard to not face reality. As long as her quality of life is good, she wants to try.

She starts a new chemo tomorrow. She'll be at MDA for 8 hrs tomorrow and Wed, then back Thur and Fri for blood. Same thing next week. The next week she starts the 2nd chemo drug and has a 16 hr day followed by an 8 hr day at MDA. She'll stay with friends downtown. It's too far to drive here then turnaround and go back.

I've got a lot of time alone with the kids coming up. That's hard too because I can't help but think, "so this is what is coming."

I'll quit now. If you pray, remember us.

Until there's a cure,

Greg 

Gregg, you and Stephanie are in our prayers.  I understand that strange emptiness you speak of when you at home alone asking "is this what is coming?"  Peg has survived five years. I was told she may not survive a week.  She is doing well but I know that with her condition she could be with us another day, a week, a year, probably not a decade.   We do not speak of it but another stroke would most likely kill her, she could have a killer blood clot tomorrow, I almost lost her to one in her leg in May of '03.  I cannot and will not claim to understand the challenge you face and I admire you for it.  But I know very well the uncertainty of knowing that one day I will be alone.  I try not to think about it but your final sentence was a reminder of that.  I live with that every day.  So I live each day as the gift it is... because it is our greatest gift!  Hug those kids, Hug Stephanie, those are the things that make life special.

God bless you and your family.

Your friend,

Emerson

amy mutz - 2008-04-08 5:07 AM Today will be an intense work day for me so I won't be checking in again until later. Everyone have a great day!!!! Amy IN Let's all meet up at the pool later.

This looks like a good meeting spot! Sign me up... Off to a trail run... Emerson

see you in a few days! still not sure of my brothers race bib number and he said his time is not going to be half as good as the 12 hours he had anticipated for Florida...instead he said he may be walking much of the ironman...he has lost 10lbs and of course his mental psychy is not all there since he does not have the driving power Dorothy gave him! so he saying he thinks to be done around 14 hours! ;(  Kills me to hear him soooo down! but I think when he gets this race behind him, he can move forward. He just called and was talking to a Real Estate agent...so that is good! He really needs to move out of that big A$$ home that he lives in by himself!! Beautiful, but time to move! way too much for just him....

Please tell Stephanie that I am going to be with her at MD Anderson in spirit and with prayer! I truly love the both of you! I went to Church this morning and will go again tomorrow! Will also try and find one in Arizona near the hotel...hope it helps!  keep your chin up and remember how much she needs you now! know you will be there! as you are such the amazing guy! she is a lucky gal to have you! some husbands are not half as compassionate and caring! luckily I got one of the few like you! he is a keeper as you are to her! BE STRONG and remember you have a whole new family here in BT! love xxxxxxxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo

that is beautifully said Emerson! and ooooooohhhhhhhh so true! none of us can know what you are going thru!! just know we are here for you...if there is anything....ANYTHING AT ALL...please do not hesitate to ask.

amy mutz - 2008-04-08 5:07 AM Today will be an intense work day for me so I won't be checking in again until later. Everyone have a great day!!!! Amy IN Let's all meet up at the pool later.

dang you can swim some laps to warm up...then head over the fence to go for that OWS! looks beautiful....where is that?

sorry Dee....never knew! I understand about the money thing! I am still paying out the nose! does it ever end! I feel like I have dragged this family down....and if it weren't for me, we would be so much more financially stable...but hey, I am here and I am healthy...so money! I can live with out it!!! Dee what type cancer and how long have you been cancer free?

D001 - 2008-04-08 8:40 AM

etknowles - 2008-04-07 8:45 PM

Julie, you make wonderful points. But, for the record, I think Dee is a survivor and I am a survivor too...

Yes. I would have actually preferred to have KEPT my ovaries, to be honest. I laugh when women talk about going through menopause. I did it overnight. (And when I tell people, they invariably say, "Oh, I'm sure you're mistaken. You're too young to have gone through menopause." Um, hello? Age doesn't matter. Having ovaries does....) Doctor following surgery: "Are you having hot flashes yet?" Me, in a drug-induced haze: "Huh?" Doctor: "Well, you will." It took about 4 days. Then I realized what she was talking about!!! Ah the memories! LOL Anyway, I've adjusted. (As far as menopause goes, anyway. I'm not as "well-adjusted" in other aspects maybe! LOL) And on that note... back to work.....

curious are you still having hot flashes...cuz MINE SUK! I am now getting them during the day! I hate this...and since I am a cancer survivor...I can not have the steroid drugs that they give others...because the drugs they offer for hot flashes, cause cancer to spread more rapidly! so, meanwhile one moment I am bundled in layers of clothing...the next sitting next to naked and fanning myself....last nite I was lying on top of the covers/bedspread and was burning up....when the DH got up to use the restroom, he got back in bed shivering and said what are you hot??? and then said man how can you be....it's freezing in here! poor guy has to sleep in a room with a box fan in the window pretty much year round and the ceiling fan is always on! DOES IT EVER END DEE????? please tell me yes!

x2 but glad that you are still going for treatments...rather then throwing in the towel! good luck! tell Steph I said hi!!! and I am thinking of her alllllllll the time!

The hot flash thing could be worse. Stephanie went into premature menopause after her first rounds of chemo in 2004. Then about a year later, the body started working again. So, if she makes it long enough, she'll go through it all again

Yesterday, Stef was pretty disturbed by the news. Even if you know you are going to get hit in the nose, it still hurts when it happens. Same thing yesterday. But, like she always does, today she woke up, resilient as ever and headed out to slay the beast. She did some shopping, read in our daughter's class, then headed to MDA. I live with her and am constantly amazed.

Here's a link to some of our pics from Sonoma . 

amy mutz - 2008-04-08 1:03 PM I'm also in the "hot flash" club....yikes!!!!!!! We still had the window open at night when it was 38, and we keep the house at 59 degrees....anybody want to visit? Just a few thoughts for the day. 1. Don't sweat the small stuff, and remember, most stuff is small. 2. The most boring word in any language is "I." 3. Nobody is indispensable, especially you. 4. Life is full of surprises. Just say "never" and you'll see. 5. People are more important than things. 6. Persistence will get you almost anything eventually. 7. Nobody can make you happy. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. 8. There's so much bad in the best of us and so much good in the worst of us that it doesn't behoove any of us to talk about the rest of us. 9. Live by what you trust, not by what you fear. 10. Character counts. Family matters. 11. Eating out with small children isn't worth it, even if someone else is paying. 12. If you wait to have kids until you can afford them, you probably never will. 13. Baby kittens don't begin to open their eyes for six weeks after birth. Men generally take 26 years. 14. The world would run a lot smoother if more men knew how to dance. 15. Television ruins more minds than drugs. 16. Sometimes there is more to gain in being wrong than right. 17. Life is so much simpler when you tell the truth. 18. People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties. 19. A good joke beats a pill for a lot of ailments. 20. There are no substitutes for fresh air, sunshine, and exercise. 21. A smile is the cheapest way to improve your looks, even if your teeth are crooked. 22. May you live life so there is standing room only at your funeral. 23. Mothers always know best, but sometimes fathers know too. 24. Forgive your friends and your enemies. You're all only human. 25. If you don't do anything else in life, love someone and let someone love you.

those are some great quotes!! thanks Amy...I needed to read many of those!! feel better already!!!

x2

Hey guys...will be signing off til next week....I will be bringing a lap top, but really intend this trip to be all about the family and do not want to get caught up in trying to inspire, log and all that stuff! so, it is a good bye from me til Tuesday! be thinking good thoughts for my brother who seems to be doubting himself as to if he can finish this race....he has lost weight since losing his wife and said that he just doesn't have the stamina he did for the Florida race....we consider him an ironman already! but know the medal means a lot to him! If any of you who read this are in the Dallas area, he has had all kinds of new stations and local newspapers contacting him to do a story about this race. OK...gotta go, did get in a ride today! not very long, but a ride! Hope everyone else is getting close to reaching some of their short term and long term goals! GO TEAM MEDIC!!!! will try and let you know how Mike does! have a great day/week/weekend...and will catch up soon with all of you! Greg you have my cell number...please let me know if something comes up! I will be praying for your entire family while away....hang in there buddy!!