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Austin Powers: (about her tight clothes) How do you get into those pants?
Felicity Shagwell: Well you can start by buying me a drink.

it's been raining here all day and I have missed this thread sooooooooo much!

The Architect : What are you saying?
The Nurse : Leave her... come back to Montana with me.
The Architect : I could no sooner run away from her than myself.
The Nurse : I'm not asking you to run, I'm asking you to face reality!
The Architect : Whose reality, yours or mine?
The Nurse : My reality AND yours, that's whose!
The Architect : What are you saying?
The Nurse : Leave her! Come back to Montana with me!
The Architect : I could no sooner run away from her than myself!
The Nurse : I'm not asking you to run, I'm asking you to face reality!
The Architect : Whose reality, yours or mine?
The Nurse : My reality AND yours, that's whose!
The Architect : What are you saying?

You're no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room--and someone'll listen to your boring stories! Didn't you notice on the plane when you started talking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag? Didn't that give you some sort of clue, like maybe this guy is not enjoying it? Y'know, not everything is an anecdote, you have to discriminate! You choose things are funny or mildly amusing! You're a miracle! Your stories have none of that! They're not even amusing accidentally! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecdotes for ya! And, oh, here's a gun so you can blow your brains out, you'll thank me for it! I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days, I could sit there, and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face! And they'd say, how can you stand it? And I'd say, because I've been with Del Griffith, I can take anything! Y'know what they'd say, they'd say, "I know what you mean, shower curtain ring guy...whoa!" It's like going on a date with a Chatty-Kathy doll. I expect you to have a string on your chest that you pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back, you would! (imitating) Dyah dyah dyah dyah! And, you know, when you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it makes it so much more interesting for the listener!

The Architect : What are you saying?
The Nurse : Leave her... come back to Montana with me.
The Architect : I could no sooner run away from her than myself.
The Nurse : I'm not asking you to run, I'm asking you to face reality!
The Architect : Whose reality, yours or mine?
The Nurse : My reality AND yours, that's whose!
The Architect : What are you saying?
The Nurse : Leave her! Come back to Montana with me!
The Architect : I could no sooner run away from her than myself!
The Nurse : I'm not asking you to run, I'm asking you to face reality!
The Architect : Whose reality, yours or mine?
The Nurse : My reality AND yours, that's whose!
The Architect : What are you saying?

You're no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room--and someone'll listen to your boring stories! Didn't you notice on the plane when you started talking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag? Didn't that give you some sort of clue, like maybe this guy is not enjoying it? Y'know, not everything is an anecdote, you have to discriminate! You choose things are funny or mildly amusing! You're a miracle! Your stories have none of that! They're not even amusing accidentally! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecdotes for ya! And, oh, here's a gun so you can blow your brains out, you'll thank me for it! I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days, I could sit there, and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face! And they'd say, how can you stand it? And I'd say, because I've been with Del Griffith, I can take anything! Y'know what they'd say, they'd say, "I know what you mean, shower curtain ring guy...whoa!" It's like going on a date with a Chatty-Kathy doll. I expect you to have a string on your chest that you pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back, you would! (imitating) Dyah dyah dyah dyah! And, you know, when you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it makes it so much more interesting for the listener!

Hello!

Just trying to stay in the top 20.

Félix

Suzy: Oh, it's like that movie.
Sam: What movie?
Suzy: An Affair to Remember, did you ever see it? Oh, god, Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. Is it Karr or Kerr?
Sam: Karr.
Greg: Kerr.
Suzy: Okay, she's going to meet him at the top of the Empire State Building, only she got hit by a taxi. And he waited and waited, and it was raining, I think. And then she's too proud to tell him that she's, uh, crippled. And he's too proud to find out why she doesn't come. But he comes to see her anyway, I forget why, but oh, oh, it's so great when he comes to see her, because he doesn't even notice that she doesn't get up to say hello. And he's very bitter and you think that he's just going to walk out the door and never know why she's just lying there, you know, with, on the couch, with the blanket over her shriveled legs and... (breaks down)
Jonah: Are you all right?
Greg: She's fine.
Suzy: And suddenly he goes...sold the...painting...(she's crying too hard to speak) and he, like, goes to the bedroom, and he looks, and he comes out, and he looks at her, and he kind-of, just, they know, and the hug and it's so...god, I love that movie.
Greg: That's a chick's movie.
Sam: I would say so.



Edited by crpadiem 2004-08-31 12:13 PM

"You're so money and you don't even know it"

Alex Trebek: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Once again, I'm going to recommend that our viewers watch something else. That having been said, let's take a look at the scores. Sean Connery is in first place with zero.

Sean Connery: You'll rue the day you crossed me Trebek.

Alex Trebek: Fantastic. Adam Sandler.

Adam Sandler: How you doin there Alex? You know it's great to be here, you know? Time for the Jeopardy! I love it. Your father loves it. Your Aunt Neda watches it every night in the VCR.

Alex Trebek: Ok, thank you Mr. Sandler. And finally, Tom Cruise has an incredible negative $12,000. A negative $12,000 having incorrectly answered a number of first round questions more than once.

Tom Cruise: I'm feeling great, Alex. Who is this guy? [ points to Adam Sandler ] I love this guy. This guy's great here, with the crazy sounds. He's wonderful. And it's really an honor to be working with Sean Connery.

Alex Trebek: Great. Better luck to all of you in the next round. It's time for Double Jeopardy. Let's take a look at the board. And the categories are: Potent Potables, The Vowels, Presidents Who Are On the One Dollar Bill, Famous Titles, Ponies, The Number 10, and finally: Foods That End In "Amburger." Tom Cruise, you are in third place, so the board is yours.

Tom Cruise: I, a...[ laughs ], I, a...[ laughs ], I, a...[ laughs ], I, a...[ laughs ]

Alex Trebek: Mr. Sandler, why don't you pick instead?

Adam Sandler: Once again, something that could have been brought to my attention yesterday!

Alex Trebek: Mr. Connery, go ahead.

Sean Connery: The day is mine! I'll take Famous Titties for 400.

Alex Trebek: Titles, Famous Titles.

Sean Connery: Damn!

Alex Trebek: And the answer is: This movie title is taken from the name of the book "Gone With The Wind." Mr. Sean Connery.

Sean Connery: Dolly Parton!

Alex Trebek: Titles, Mr. Connery. Not titties.

Sean Connery: Not a fan of the ladies, are you Trebek?

Alex Trebek: Someone else, please. Mr. Sandler.

Adam Sandler: Why are you yelling at me?

Alex Trebek: You rang in. Mr. Cruise.

Tom Cruise: I know this, I got it. It's right up here. I got it, I know it, I know it, it's right up here. I got it [ beep ]

Alex Trebek: You don't got it.

Tom Cruise: No, you don't got it! Get it?!

Alex Trebek: Wonderful. The answer is Gone With the Wind. Gone With the Wind. All right, Mr. Connery, the board is yours, so I'll pick a category for you. Let's try the Number 10 for 200. In this category, the correct response to every question is ten. When I stop talking, just say ten. Ok, let's give it a shot. This is how many fingers you have. Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise: Five.

Alex Trebek: No. Adam Adam Sandler: .

Adam Sandler: This one time I was out with my friends on a boat. And this guy on the boat was like Come to the back of the boat! [ Beep ]

Alex Trebek: Time's up. Time is up. The answer was ten. You have ten fingers.

Sean Connery: I'll show you a finger, Trebek.

Alex Trebek: Mr. Cruise, would you please pick.

Tom Cruise: Help me, Alex. Help me, help you. Help me, help you.

Alex Trebek: Thank you.

Tom Cruise: All right, I'll take Famous Titties for 800.

Sean Connery: Well done, laddie.

Alex Trebek: Famous Titles for 800. And it's an audio Daily Double. All right, Mr. Cruise, this song was this TV show's theme. Listen carefully.

[ Play Batman, theme song. ]

Tom Cruise: A...A...What is Mash?

Alex Trebek: No. Sean Connery.

Tom Cruise: What is After Mash?

Alex Trebek: No.

Tom Cruise: The one with Jamie Farr.

Alex Trebek: No, I know. Mr. Sandler. Where did you get a guitar?

Adam Sandler: [ Singing ] "Robert De'Niro, Bela Lugosi, Snufalofogus, and Parker Posie."

Alex Trebek: And it's time for Final Jeoardy. The Final Jeopardy category is just answer the question Where are you right now? Just right down where you are right now. It could be California, or a game show, or earth, or the word "here." Ok, let's get this over with. Tom Cruise, you wrote down: "Go." And you wagered: "For it." Go for it. You certainly did.

Tom Cruise: [ Laughs ]

Alex Trebek: Moving on. All right, Adam Sandler, you wrote down: "Abbie Doobie."

Adam Sandler: Abbie Doobie...[ Gibberish ]

Alex Trebek: I feel like I want to punch you. Mr. Connery, where are you right now? You wrote: Good, Lord, you wrote "indoors" that's phenomenal. Are we recording this? Ok, let's look at your wager. "I heart boobs." That's beautiful. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm going home and putting a gun in my mouth. Good day.

Wooderson : Say, man, you got a joint?
Mitch : No, not on me man.
Wooderson : It'd be a lot cooler if you diid.

----------

Wooderson : That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.

----------

Wooderson : The older you get the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin man. L-I-V-I-N.

Wooderson : Say, man, you got a joint?
Mitch : No, not on me man.
Wooderson : It'd be a lot cooler if you diid.

----------

Wooderson : That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.

----------

Wooderson : The older you get the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin man. L-I-V-I-N.

I LOVE that movie!!!

Whohoo the post about nothing is back!!!!!!!!!!!

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Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead! You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you! Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass! [Evelyn starts to cry.] Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying, there's no crying in baseball! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit! And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game! And did I cry? NO! NO! And do you know why?

hehehe...couldn't help it.  I know you've missed this thread!

thought you may have missed this.......

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I think we only figured out who is definately wrong!

only who is never right