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Maternity leave... aka ... FMLA (Page 4)
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 2009-05-29 3:41 PM in reply to: #2181959 |
Master  2571    Tiger's Den |  Subject: RE: Maternity leave... aka ... FMLAsealiongirl - 2009-05-29 4:23 PM SuzanneS - 2009-05-29 9:06 AM Kim- no insurance company- we self insure for that, so it's just salary continuation for spitting a baby out your girl parts. Thanks for the good wishes... We are adopting from China (for many reasons I won't go into here) and most likely our daughter will be close to 12 months old. BUT she will have been in an institution setting and will most likely not have bonded to anyone like she would a parent, so we are going to have to do EXTRA things to facilitate bonding. In many ways it will be harder than with a newborn because we are going to have to prove to her that we are her parents and will be there for her after all she's known is that no one comes when she cries. It's a very important time- how well we do with her in the first few months she is home is going to set her up for either having a well adjusted life or not. (granted, it's not 100% either way, but let's just say it's an extremely crucial time since we are going to have to undo any damage caused by being institutionalize for her first year of life). I am going to take the full 12 weeks, and we will get by on my husband's salary, but I am seriously thinking about looking for another job after we are home as I can certainly see that my company is not family friendly. Right now I'm at the point where it's not even about the money anymore. My company had a choice of how they wanted to handle this and they are choosing to let me know that my family and I are not important to them. I won't go into all the gory details, but let's just say that all the arguments I've heard about why they aren't going to give me the benefit are bullsH$$ and have nothing to do with disability vs no disability. It's all about greed and control at the upper level. Legally they are doing nothing wrong as they have the policies written. But ethically I believe they are wrong. But life isn't fair and no one promised it would be. I am trying to come to terms with this fact. Congrats on your adoption! We also adopted non-newborns. Our kids were 2 and 3. I really highly recommend you read up on attachment disorder and attachment issues before you bring her home. Not that she will have them, but I wish I had known more. There are so many great techniques for establishing that parent/child bond. Also, forums.adoption.com is a great website to get on, if you haven't already. Tons of resources and other moms and dads to talk to. As for adoption leave, I am a public school teacher in California. We get the same 6 weeks of half pay as mothers who give birth. HOWEVER, the disability that we paid into at the time would kick in an additional 25% of a woman's salary who gave birth, but not adoption. California State Disability pays equally for both, but our distict does not pay into that, it had a private company. I gave the private company a piece of my mind, but then had to suck it up. Ultimately we ended up doing way better because there was an adoption tax credit at the time that ended up lasting us two years. For two years we did not have to pay federal or state income taxes and received our tax rebate checks for 17,000 both times! It was like winning the lottery. We didn't know about this when we went into the adoption, but boy did that help. Definitly ask you CPA or tax person about it. GOOD LUCK!!! Thanks- I am reading up on the attachment stuff and am familiar with the adoption.com formums. We also know about the adoption tax credit. Initially we thought to use that money to start an instant college fund for our daughter but now we will probably have to use that money to cover our costs of adopting- travel and orphanage donation, etc. It's no where near enough, but it does help. |
| 2009-05-29 6:50 PM in reply to: #2180653 |
Extreme Veteran 861 Northbridge, Massachusetts | Subject: RE: Maternity leave... aka ... FMLA I had a c-section due to breech baby, and I needed about 6 weeks to recover, the other two were used to appear more human like, rather than fried first parent. I thought it would be a piece of cake. Heck, I had run 9 marathons, I thought it would be easy to bounce back. However it is major abdominal surgery and it took awhile to get back to feeling well, since it wasn't exactly uninterrupted healing due to breast feeding every few hours, not to mention complications that ended up happening. Not everything is as simple as it looks. I have also had friends, that while they had a vaginal birth, the complications of the pregnancy over nine months made it take longer than a week to feel up to par. So while they may have been able to sit down easier, there are other things that also need time. I love blanket statements!! Not. PS. My maternity was paid for 8 weeks due to C-section and then I paid for the remainder or it would have been unpaid. My company does not offer anything like disability for adoptive parents. They do offer $3,000 towards adoption expenses |
| 2009-05-29 7:10 PM in reply to: #2181687 |
Master 2006 Portland, ME | Subject: RE: Maternity leave... aka ... FMLA lisac957 - 2009-05-29 2:18 PM Marvarnett - 2009-05-29 2:16 PM lisac957 - 2009-05-29 3:09 PM PennState - 2009-05-29 1:34 PM "To answer your original question, I offer all you employees the option to pay or short term disability insurance. I also allow for personal time above and beyond vacation and sick, unpaid. I have 14 employees and can assure you that I would think very hard about hiring in certain age groups if I had to pay for personal time off related to FMLA issues as I can't afford it and it would have serious impact on staying in business. " Yes it would be discrimination, but it happens and could become an even harsher reality if employers were made to cover more of the bill. Again this points to some of the advantages of the Canadian model (pains me to say, as I'm not that pro-Canuck I find it interesting that a small business owner would not hire the best person for the job, based purely on speculation of what the employees' personal life will hold, 1, 3, or 5 years down the road. Jackemy said if they were equally qualified. So he would pick the best person for the job. Gotcha. I'm still perplexed that someone's random speculation is the deciding factor. No, it is based on my experience in running and growing companies. None of it is random speculation. It is all about doing this long enough to now better and understanding the amount of the payroll nut I need to crack every two weeks. I did mention that most of my staff are women and have had children while working for me. But as a small business owner, I have to constantly make decisions for the benefit of the company because if I don't my 14 employees are out of a job. In fact, I was currently in the process of hiring a new employee which would put me at 15. Two new laws in Maine just passed that affects human resource costs for businesses with more than 15 employees. Well I decided not to hire that 15th employee because of the new laws. I'm sure I'm not the only business owner who decided to hold of on hiring because of the new law (it actually relates of caregiver discrimination). I can't take the added regulatory cost to grow the company through adding staff so some guy or gal who would have been offered a job today remains unemployed. |
)| 2009-05-29 7:10 PM in reply to: #2180653 |
Veteran 174 | Subject: RE: Maternity leave... aka ... FMLA I was presented with the same situation... I worked for a company for 13 years and took 3 sick days in all those years....yet at the time they did not let me use unused sick time for my adoption leave. I have never given birth (only went through fertility hell and multiple miscarriages) but I have adopted two daughters from China. The adjustment was a good 6 months as you get back from the trip and the baby adjusts to everything being different. I once told a friend... picture having a couple adopt your child at 12 months of age, take them to a different country in which food, smells, language is different. It takes time...there can be major sleep adjustment. The best I can tell you is to accept what is and focus on the time off you will have with your daughter. After my adoption I left my company and found a better situation that is much more family friendly... it even has back up home care, so it makes up for it. In the end... it won't matter. I completed 2 adoptions over 3 years from China. I didn't so much as splurge on a latte when I took 12 weeks of unpaid leave....but it was worth it all. Take the time, treasure it, and carry her everywhere. Today... I would go through all the hoops, heartache, unpaid leave, etc to have the blessing of my two girls. Motherhood has far exceeded all of my expectations and the journey to China was not easy...but oh so worth it. We just go through another type of labor and delivery. My two daughters now ages 6 and 8 couldn't have been a better match... we somehow all found eachother, and none of us have ever been the same... we are all have been better. Congratulations! And remember the story of the red thread.... Elizabeth |
| 2009-05-29 9:04 PM in reply to: #2182294 |
Master 2571 Tiger's Den | Subject: RE: Maternity leave... aka ... FMLA azelizabeth - 2009-05-29 8:10 PM I was presented with the same situation... I worked for a company for 13 years and took 3 sick days in all those years....yet at the time they did not let me use unused sick time for my adoption leave. I have never given birth (only went through fertility hell and multiple miscarriages) but I have adopted two daughters from China. The adjustment was a good 6 months as you get back from the trip and the baby adjusts to everything being different. I once told a friend... picture having a couple adopt your child at 12 months of age, take them to a different country in which food, smells, language is different. It takes time...there can be major sleep adjustment. The best I can tell you is to accept what is and focus on the time off you will have with your daughter. After my adoption I left my company and found a better situation that is much more family friendly... it even has back up home care, so it makes up for it. In the end... it won't matter. I completed 2 adoptions over 3 years from China. I didn't so much as splurge on a latte when I took 12 weeks of unpaid leave....but it was worth it all. Take the time, treasure it, and carry her everywhere. Today... I would go through all the hoops, heartache, unpaid leave, etc to have the blessing of my two girls. Motherhood has far exceeded all of my expectations and the journey to China was not easy...but oh so worth it. We just go through another type of labor and delivery. My two daughters now ages 6 and 8 couldn't have been a better match... we somehow all found eachother, and none of us have ever been the same... we are all have been better. Congratulations! And remember the story of the red thread.... Elizabeth Awww Thank you for writing... your situation sounds almost identical to mine. And that's what I intend to do. Take my time unpaid, cut corners and do what I have to to get by and then find a better situation. I know times are tough right now, but I'll keep looking until I find a good situation. I was actually thinking today about how I need to start carrying around a weight in the baby sling/carrier so I can get used to it. I plan to have as much physical contact as possible to facilitate bonding and attachment... as well as with massage, swim time, etc etc. I will probably pm you for your email so I can bombard you with all the questions that I am sure I will have!!! |
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