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2013-05-04 8:48 AM

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Subject: Significant Other

I was wondering how many of you have a significant other who does not race.  My wife and I moved here about a year and a half ago.  Neither of us were very athletically inclined.  I picked up a magazine about local races and decided to try one out.  It was really fun.

Over the course of the year I did several more and we even camped out at a race and volunteered.  My wife has been very supportive of my training and hasn't complained.  Even when I signed up for the Boulder 70.3.  She actually bought me winter cycling gear for xmas.  Good sign.  Right?

Now that the weather is starting to warm up, I will be doing longer training days.  How many of you have a husband or wife or girlfriend who doesn't race and is there a point where they started to be less supportive?



Edited by dr100 2013-05-04 8:56 AM


2013-05-04 11:52 AM
in reply to: #4727088

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Subject: RE: Significant Other
My wife does not race and is very supportive.  I do all of my training early in the morning during the week and early to mid morning on weekends.  I am usually finished before the rest of the family is up and moving, so my training does not interfere with my family life.
2013-05-04 5:53 PM
in reply to: #4727088

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Subject: RE: Significant Other
My wife doesn't race or run, bike, or swim. She is supportive in that she doesn't complain, but she doesn't go to many races either unless we make it a vacation destination. I get it, watching a triathlon would be pretty boring if you aren't a triathlete or any type of athlete at all. I make sure she knows I don't mind her not going to cheer for me. If I expected her to go and she went but really didn't want to, the support (or tolerance) would quickly vanish.

I recommend making sure you have dates and ask if she's good with it. When training seriously, I would talk to her about what I needed to get done on the weekend and see what she had going on and move my training around so we could have lunch and/or dinner together.
2013-05-05 11:48 AM
in reply to: #4727088

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Subject: RE: Significant Other

My wife doesn't do triathlons. She's supportive........although she did say, last week, that she can't wait for IM Arizona to be over. Yep, 28 wks from today!! The good thing for me is that she's a teacher, so she gives me lots of freedom during the Summer for training. She's only missed a couple of races. But that's because it was longer more than 30 minutes away & she didn't want to wake the kids up so early in the morning.

The one thing that she hates is that I schedule my time off around races, which doesn't leave much time for "Summer vacations" with the family. Luckily I don't have a 9-5, so I can get trades for the times when she wants to go the mountains, or road trip witht he kids.

2013-05-05 5:49 PM
in reply to: #4727088

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Subject: RE: Significant Other

My wife runs, but doesn't do triathlons. We do lots of running races together, but not all. She doesn't usually go if she isn't racing. Of the 30-40 triathlons I've done she has been to maybe a half dozen. No big deal as far as I'm concerned.

She doesn't mind when I train. I do most of it at times it doesn't affect the family. The only time she got annoyed was the year I ran over 3100 miles.

She didn't go to the HIMs I've done, or the 2 marathons I BQed. She did go to Boston though.

2013-05-06 8:56 AM
in reply to: #4727088

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Subject: RE: Significant Other
dr100 - 2013-05-04 7:48 AM

I was wondering how many of you have a significant other who does not race.  My wife and I moved here about a year and a half ago.  Neither of us were very athletically inclined.  I picked up a magazine about local races and decided to try one out.  It was really fun.

Over the course of the year I did several more and we even camped out at a race and volunteered.  My wife has been very supportive of my training and hasn't complained.  Even when I signed up for the Boulder 70.3.  She actually bought me winter cycling gear for xmas.  Good sign.  Right?

Now that the weather is starting to warm up, I will be doing longer training days.  How many of you have a husband or wife or girlfriend who doesn't race and is there a point where they started to be less supportive?

I met my wife about 20-years ago because of running and triathlon.  We did a lot of this together until kids came along.  She continued to run but quit triathlon and really would have preferred that I quit as well.  I did for a while but started again after getting out of shape and gaining weight.  So, I guess she became less supportive when we had children.  That said, unless you are training for an IM, it's pretty easy to train for this sport with little impact to family time.  Sounds like your wife is on-board with you doing triathlon.  Just make sure she knows that family is your priority and tri is your hobby.  I'm sure she'll continue to be supportive. 



2013-05-10 2:03 PM
in reply to: #4727088

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Subject: RE: Significant Other
My husband does not race but he does play wheel chair rugby all fall/winter for which I volunteer and support ( not just him but the whole team!) so by spring/summer we both kind of look at it as "my turn". I figure out when im going to train usually the night before after evaluating the rest of our schedule, results in me working out at all kinds of times but so far it has been pretty easy on the family which makes them more supportive in general. My family has not yet come to a tri yet partially because im slow so thats a long time to hang out and wait and partially we do not know how accessible the race will be for him. If your worried it may be/become a problem I d suggest just having a frank discussion about it and find out what would work for everyone involved.
2013-05-13 11:31 PM
in reply to: #4727088

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Subject: RE: Significant Other
My Wife is 'active' but not a Tri-&-Distance Running/Cycling Geek like me.
24Hour Fitness really helped me train for Full IM distance.
In general, we alternate days that I have the kids most of the day, and days she has the kids (now 6 and 3), and I don't usually workout both weekend days.
As a result, I tend to go longer, and then recover, rather than working out lots of days in a row.
It's good division of labor, and I think we'll continue doing it even if I someday 'retire'.

Endurance Nation sometimes has a way of describing a number of basic Tri principals in novel ways that connect for me. They refer to what you're talking about as "Spousal Approval Units" (which also includes the rest of the family). They suggest a "Return on Investment" strategy of 'Spending' those Approval units maximizing workouts closer to your goal race when they will do you the most good, rather than on 4Hour rides in January (for a Sept-Oct goal race) when you're just using up Approval Units for little return on investment.
Check it out the intro to the ROI Strategy here...
http://www.endurancenation.us/blog/training/return-on-investment/

And, so you don't have to hunt all over their site for it, here at parts 2 and 3 of the "ROI" series.
http://www.endurancenation.us/blog/training/return-on-investment-se...
http://www.endurancenation.us/blog/training/return-on-investment-se...

Best of Luck!
2013-05-17 1:32 PM
in reply to: dr100

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Subject: RE: Significant Other

I'm the wife who started before my husband. After I had been racing for 2 years, he wanted to start doing Tri's. I have to admit, I was PISSED at first. I was like "get your own damn sport!". I was the one thing I did that was just me. It was really hard for a lot of years. We had very young kids and we were always fighting for training time or tag teaming watching the kids. We never saw each other. I actually quit tri's about 3 years ago because I was tired of fighting about it all the time and never having family time.  Don't get me wrong, I wanted him to be healthy and have fun, but it was so hard to see him taking time out of his "work day" to train, while I was at home with the kids doing "my work" and having to train at 5am before they got up.

Now, I'm starting again, but the kids are in school and I can find times to train that don't impact the family as much. Hubby still runs, but it doesn't seem to get in the way. We often involve the kids...who ride their bikes while we run or swim while we do laps. They are also old enough to stay home for 30 minutes at a time. But in the beginning, it was nearly a marriage killer.  Just be sensitive to whether of not your wife is getting resentful of the time, especially if you have kids.

Mel

2013-05-21 9:02 AM
in reply to: dr100

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Subject: RE: Significant Other
Thanks for all of the input. After my long ride last weekend, we went out for a late lunch at Noodles and I told her if my training ever starts to be too much, please let me know before it pushes her over the edge. We're good. She's actually very excited for me about the Boulder 70.3
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