Why I prefer individual sports

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2005-09-13 10:22 AM

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Master
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Lexington, Kentucky
Subject: Why I prefer individual sports

My daughter signed up for 8-yr-old youth soccer this fall. There was a shortage of coaches, and my wife, being a generous person and a former player, agreed to coach my daughter's team.  It was already late in the summer, and the league did not send her a team roster or schedule until a couple of weeks ago. The first two practices she scheduled were rained out, so the team went into its first game on Saturday having had only 4 hours of practice. Not surprisingly, they took a beating. They lost Sunday's game as well, but showed clear signs of improvement.

Monday at practice, a little loudmouthed brat (not by any means the team's star player) loudly informed my daughter that her mother was no longer the head coach, and the team could get rid of her and a couple of other less gifted players.  A few moments later, the league director showed up and introduced two college-age assistant coaches. My wife was delighted to have help, but was hurt that this "coaching change" had been clearly instigated by the some of the parents and communicated to their children behind her back. Apparently some of the parents felt that their little David Beckhams were not getting sufficent attention while my wife worked with other kids on fundamental skills. Nevermind that these same parents haven't bothered to show up to more than half of the few practices the team had been able to hold. (FWIW my wife is still the "head coach" whatever that means, and the assistants, knowledgeable though they were, worked from her prepared training plan)

Here's what I hope for my daughter to get from youth sports:

- Learn how to acheive a goal through persistence & practice

- Improve general fitness and gross motor co-ordination

- Discover a new and entertaining sport

- Make new friends 

- Learn to lose proudly and win humbly 

I had thought these goals were shared by the 8-yr-old league and by other parents - even if it means that more gifted players will sit on the sidelines while less giften players are on the field. Apparently, that is not the case.

Thank you for listening to my rant.



Edited by tim_edwards 2005-09-13 10:25 AM

2005-09-13 10:25 AM
in reply to: #245826

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Queen BTich
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Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports

Thats very disappointing....not even going to start about parents like that.

2005-09-13 10:43 AM
in reply to: #245829

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Elite
3235
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San Diego
Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports
You think those parents are bad? Try putting your daughter in gymnastics or figure skating. Those parents are WAAAAAY more tolerant
2005-09-13 1:46 PM
in reply to: #245826

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Veteran
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Woodridge, IL (Chicago)
Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports
I've noticed that as a Swim Coach that parents will always believe that their child is better than they really are. These are the same children that can do no wrong in their parents eyes. Ohio a few years back hosted a Girls youth soccer tournament on a Friday Saturday and Sunday. Sunday the Parents were not allowed to cheer on their players. They called it Silent Sunday and it was a hit. Here is the link to the article. http://www.soccertimes.com/langdon/1999/sep16a.htm

This took place back in 1999.

In my opinion if the parents feel they could do better then they should have stepped up in the first place. Youth Sports and Team sports is a meant to develop a sense of belonging, development, learning, teamwork, and leadership in children. Just my opinion.
2005-09-13 1:50 PM
in reply to: #245826

Elite Veteran
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Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports
If your kid decides to stick with the athletics, you have MANY years ahead of you where you will be shocked and appalled at the behavior of the other players, the parents AND the coaches.  Steel yourself, my friend. It's scary out there.
2005-09-13 2:36 PM
in reply to: #245826

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Queen BTich
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Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports

At my first ever soccer game, another parent yelled at my coach about his choice in players and their postion placement--in the middle of the game!! Eveyone stopped, the game stopped, shocked looks on every face, and the ref had to make him leave the park.


This was the FIRST year for girls soccer in my town, first game for most of us girls (the only girls who had played before had played on boys teams). This was very sad, a lot of the girls got upset, some cried (we were young). I'll never forget it.

2005-09-13 2:54 PM
in reply to: #245826

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Expert
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WV
Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports
I have seen it far too many times. I worked in a school district (KCMO) where riots during games seemed to be the norm, especially during basketball. The stands cleared on more than one occasion. Parents beating up athletes, athletes on athletes, students on athletes. It was unreal. 6 times the gym was cleared of everyone but necessary individuals. It was a shame. One night, they even called in the riot police to escort the visiting team to their vehicles. They cops used pepper spray on the crowd to keep them at bay. Fun huh!

Edited by Dr Hammer 2005-09-13 2:56 PM
2005-09-13 3:11 PM
in reply to: #246079

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Master
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Centennial, CO
Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports
This is the benefit of playing ice hockey... Your totally in gear and people can't get you on the ice. I've seen fans go at it, and of course players go at it, but never interaction between the two when I've been playing. (There is the rare, player going into the crowd, but not likely...)
2005-09-13 4:59 PM
in reply to: #246100

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Master
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Saskatchewan
Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports

velocomp - 2005-09-13 4:11 PM This is the benefit of playing ice hockey... Your totally in gear and people can't get you on the ice. I've seen fans go at it, and of course players go at it, but never interaction between the two when I've been playing. (There is the rare, player going into the crowd, but not likely...)

Well...it's the hockey parents versus the referees that has been the main problem. In fact, USA Hockey and Hockey Canada have started to take a no-tolerance policy towards verbal abuse from fans. This also includes any comments directed at coaches, players and other fans.

I have to say that I'm amazed at how much $ parents will invest in their child "future" as a hockey, basketball or cricket star. No longer are the typical sport seasons observed, there are summer hockey and winter soccer leagues. Nevermind the training camps that these kids get sent to for weeks at a time. There is this whole groups of kids who never have a break and never get a chance to just play for fun. It's very sad.

I was fortunate to have parents that let me try everything and anything. I am so grateful for the experiences that I had growing up. And you know what? Only going to one hockey camp a summer as a kid didn't impede my progress as a player. I still got my scholarship to college and was much more mature and welrounded than some others.

2005-09-13 5:04 PM
in reply to: #246100

Elite
2458
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Livingston, MT
Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports
velocomp - 2005-09-13 12:11 PM

This is the benefit of playing ice hockey... Your totally in gear and people can't get you on the ice. I've seen fans go at it, and of course players go at it, but never interaction between the two when I've been playing. (There is the rare, player going into the crowd, but not likely...)


Not to mention that hockey players would kick the crap out of 99% of the people out there.

To the main point, I'm amazed how far parents will go. I've seen every combination of coaches, parents, and refs duke it out with one another. People get upset over sport that children play. It is sad. What is worse is having to explain to my children when they first started out why the parties involved were going at it.

Son: Dad, why did the Coach and Billy's dad start fighting?
Me: Because they are both jackasses that have such pitiful existences and hate their lots in life so much so, that they can't let their children explore the wonderful game of T-Ball without ruining it for the other 20 kids and their parents.
2005-09-13 5:16 PM
in reply to: #246230

Elite
2458
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Livingston, MT
Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports
marina - 2005-09-13 1:59 PM

I have to say that I'm amazed at how much $ parents will invest in their child "future" as a hockey, basketball or cricket star. No longer are the typical sport seasons observed, there are summer hockey and winter soccer leagues. Nevermind the training camps that these kids get sent to for weeks at a time. There is this whole groups of kids who never have a break and never get a chance to just play for fun. It's very sad.


Not to mention that the money would be better spent on something that will give better returns in the long run such as private schooling and tutoring. I've known so many guys that have played in the minor leagues only to end up selling shoes at a sporting goods store or work as muscle in a warehouse. But they can throw a mean fastball!



2005-09-13 6:03 PM
in reply to: #245826

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Expert
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Montreal
Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports
I quit coaching because of parents. Everyone has an opinion about what you are doing wrong but no one will show up to help run the practices. The straw that broke the camels back for me was a father yelling at his son to put the ball in play specifically where I had warned him NEVER to put it in play. Of course the son listened to his father and 3 seconds later we were scored on.

Oddly enough I am still coaching Badminton because while many people have no respect for the sport they are usually so stunned when they see it played at the club level by the speed and reflexes required they just shut up. I'm also thinking of starting a town track team - though for that I am going to have to find volunteer coaches. I'm sure I will live to regret it.
2005-09-14 12:08 AM
in reply to: #245826

Expert
615
500100
Brisbane
Subject: RE: Why I prefer individual sports
So this is what my Saturdays will look like from here on in? I grew up doing individual sports and honestly did not miss the bitchy kids/parent scenarios. As all of us can profess, individual achievement can inspire and accomplish just as much in sport for a child as team sports. As a triathlete you only have yourself to blame for poor performances, not training or just turning up. Developing character through individual sport I think teaches self-reliance, and calls upon ones own will and determination to achieve.

If the result of childrens sport is nasty parents, I don't wish my child to be exposed or cop the abuse associated. I'd prefer the other values independence teaches thanks very much.

Edited by Downunderman 2005-09-14 12:10 AM
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