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Eye Contact / Acknowledgement
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 2004-11-29 1:27 PM |
Champion  6627      Rochester Hills, Michigan Gold member |  Subject: Eye Contact / AcknowledgementI've got a very important dilemma I'd like BT's help on...here's the situation, and then the question: SITUATION: Do you ever notice that when you're running (especially if you do the same run at the same time) that there's that one person you run past each time who will NEVER make eye contact or acknowledge you, no matter what you do? In my case, there's this 40-50 year old lady I run past 2 or 3 times a week...STRIDER WOMAN. She's a power walker, bright orange coat, steely gaze, tall and thin, strides cover 8 or 9 feet per footfall. And she won't look at you or acknowledge you. No matter what. I've tried 1) the 'wave', 2) the loud 'good morning', 3) the 'eye contact' (she quickly averts glance), 4) the 'sorry, I almost ran into you' apology, 5) the 'run the same direction as her so I've got more time to say 'hi' on the way past' tactic, and the never fail 6) take my dog for a run tactic. NOTHING. ZILCH. At this point it's a duel to the finish...mano a strider...who will break? Who will cave? Will she glance? Will I stop trying? Will there be a cold hand flip? Will I just not run anymore? And what tactic could I employ to help break this poor strider out of her solitary strider cell and into the colorful world of eye contact, acknowedgement, and pleasantries? I thought posting this on BT might help...I'm sure no one has had similar experience, but if you have, your objective advice / stories about how you handled these incredibly important social dilemmas will certainly help me become the complete runner I hope to be... Rick |
| 2004-11-29 2:04 PM in reply to: #87351 |
Expert 1836 Lafayette, CO | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement Ah, yes, dealing with the anti-social people. I ignore them. I will wave and smile, or say hello (if I'm not in the middle of a quick interval). If they don't acknowledge me the first time, I figure they never will. Now I just pass 'em. Typically, though, I have the opposite problem. I run a circular route around the neighborhood lake, and I'll pass some people several times. Normally, about the 3 or 4th time, they quit even smiling as we approach, so I'll say "we've GOT to stop meeting like this" or some other drivel. That normally gets a laugh, and I hope, keeps them going. If I see them as I approach the end of my run, I'll say something like "OK, you got me, I give up!" One time that really sticks in my head, was during a 10-mile LSD run - two guys, running approximately 5:30/mile pace passed me (opposite directions). On the third time around, they were carrying on a NORMAL conversation! That's a bit depressing, and I told them they were giving me a complex. Haven't seen either one since... |
| 2004-11-29 4:05 PM in reply to: #87351 |
Pro 5153 Helena, MT | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement Next time you see her, break into song and dance. That should get her.... |
| 2004-11-29 4:32 PM in reply to: #87351 |
Elite 3498 Chicago | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement |
| 2004-11-29 4:40 PM in reply to: #87351 |
Master 2233 Mechanicsburg, PA | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement Body check her into some shrubbery while you scream "ACKNOWLEDGE MY F#@%ING EXISTANCE!!!!" Just kidding about the screaming part  -Frank |
| 2004-11-29 4:48 PM in reply to: #87351 |
Champion 6627 Rochester Hills, Michigan Gold member | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement The running naked angle has been considered and discarded as an option due to the inherent risk associated with this approach. |
| 2004-11-29 5:06 PM in reply to: #87351 |
Elite Veteran 748 northern Illinois | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement Maybe she just wants to be alone. I totally get it that you're being nice, but mega-introverts sometimes see us extroverts as pushy and annoying and unspeakably peppy. Or so says my introverted husband  Or maybe she has 10 children at home and is using her power-walking as her therapeutic alone time. (You're not running past my MOTHER are you??? Well, probably not, since she's no longer in the 40-50 age range.) My vote would be say hello or give a wave, and let go of a need for a response. She's a big girl; she'll decide on the best response for her. Andrea |
 2004-11-29 5:14 PM in reply to: #87351 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2004-11-29 6:13 PM in reply to: #87351 |
| Champion 6627 Rochester Hills, Michigan Gold member | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement Lara, Andrea...I'm with you...I've concluded that she's just in a different place. I'd never go so far as to impose on her just for a reaction...but I do just get the complete giggles trying to mentally figure out how to crack this nut...Rick |
| 2004-11-29 6:30 PM in reply to: #87440 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2004-11-29 6:45 PM in reply to: #87351 |
| Extreme Veteran 444 Thunder Bay, Ontario | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement personally I'd just continue saying Hi/Hello - you feel good doing it? Maybe one day she'll realize you're just trying to be friendly. I've passed couples, say hello, get a response from the male but his partner wouldn't even crack a smile.  |
| 2004-11-30 10:34 AM in reply to: #87351 |
| Champion 8903 | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement LOL...I can see it now...she's really seething inside, because you are probably the umpteenth person who has tried to say "Hi" to her today, and she has turned it into her quest for the Holy Grail not to say "Hi" back to you. I often climb a local mountain that is the most heavily climbed peak in the US (Mt. Monadnock in NH) where on a busy weekend there may be 5,000 people climbing. If I've had an early start and am descending by mid-day, I get a constant barrage of "Hi...Hello...How Are You" all the way down from those going up. After about the 409th greeting, it does start to wear on even the most outgoing personality. Than again I may be way off base and she's just a plain miserable SOB. I'd keep saying hello to her...perhaps if she has no friends, you might be left in her will. |
| 2004-11-30 10:57 AM in reply to: #87660 |
| Veteran 245 Cole Harbour, NS | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement I like the body check option if only to see if you ellicit a reaponse. A hip check works best if going in opposite durections. |
| 2004-11-30 4:45 PM in reply to: #87670 |
| Master 1597 Colorado | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement Drop down on one knee and propose marriage. She's got to answer yes or no. If she says nothing, tell her you take that as a "yes", and begin to lay out (in detail) your new life together. If she still says nothing, she wins. |
| 2004-11-30 8:33 PM in reply to: #87351 |
| Elite 2458 Livingston, MT | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement You're in MI, so you can appreciate this.... Throw a plastic cup of beer at her, making sure to land it square in her face |
| 2004-12-02 5:39 AM in reply to: #87351 |
| Champion 6627 Rochester Hills, Michigan Gold member | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement But then she'd refuse to do an interview to tell me what happened, and I'd have to ban myself from running up my own street for life... |
| 2004-12-02 10:37 AM in reply to: #87351 |
| Expert 1836 Lafayette, CO | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement Along with the hockey theme - mention you personally know Tie Domi, then squirt water on her from your water bottle...you just might set a new PR! |
| 2004-12-02 1:16 PM in reply to: #87351 |
| Master 2233 Mechanicsburg, PA | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement In all seriousness, someone may have assualted her on one of her run/walks. The "talk-to-me-and-I'll-kick-your-butt" thing might just be a self preservation mechanism... Don't take it too personally. If that fails, then I'd go with the body check... -Frank |
| 2004-12-02 10:30 PM in reply to: #87351 |
| Champion 6627 Rochester Hills, Michigan Gold member | Subject: RE: Eye Contact / Acknowledgement I'm all about respecting a person's space...it will always make me giggle a little - that's how my mind works...but per the previous post, I'd never impose on someone for whatever reason... Rick |
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