Thursday Funnies (Lunchtime Edition)

 "It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test."

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.   As we

grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert  The saying; "If you

don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so...  Below is !

a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing

it or are still "with it."  The spaces below are so you don't see the

answers until you have made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and... begin.

WELL MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR!

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: "bread."  If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something

else.   Try not to hurt yourself.   If you said, "bread," go to

Question 2.

Say "silk" five times.   Now spell "silk."  What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water.   If you said "milk," please do not

attempt the next question.   Your brain is obviously over stressed and may

even overheat.   It may be that you need to content yourself with reading

something more appropriate such as Children's World.   If you said "water"

then proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue

bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made

from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.   If you said "green

bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these

questions?????

If you  said "glass," then! go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over

Germany   (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically

divided into West Germany and East Germany.)  Anyway, during the flight, TWO

of the engines fail.   The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine

is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure.   Unfortunately the

engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the

middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.   Where

would you  bury the survivors?   East Germany or West Germany or in "no

man's land"?

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors.

If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to

rescue anyone from a plane crash.   Your efforts would not be appreciated.

If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford

Haven in Wales.   In London, 17 people get on the bus.  In Reading, six

people get off the bus and nine people get on.  In Swindon, two people get

off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In

Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six

people get off and three get on. You then arrive at  Milford Haven. What was

the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!

Don't you remember your own name? It  was YOU!!

Now pass this along to all your "smart friends" and hope they do

better than you did.

PS: 95% of people fail in most of the questions!!

Have a great day