Now I know I can finish

Congratulations, it sounds like you're ready and will do well. 

As a man, I'll never get the empowering women thing.  I guess some people treat women as if they need empowerment, but I'm baffled about how the only gender that can create a human being needs affirmation of their exceptional abilities.  Certainly everyone with a mother understands the the superior contirubtions of women.

Anyway, enjoy your upcoming accomplishment.  You will have certainly earned it.

Edited by giaramita 2008-10-03 10:54 AM

I know what you mean, about the empowerment thing. I think this experience would empower anyone. Male or female. It has been eye opening.

On the other hand, I do kind of get the special need for some women to be empowered. It depends on how you were raised. There are some really confusing, mixed signals given to females. We try to fill so many roles that we can get lost in the process. Doing this, for myself was a wonderful and liberating experience.

I had given to everyone and everything but myself and was living off scraps. And thought that was the way it was supposed to be. But it wasn't balanced.

I feel like my life is in balance now. Time for me and time for everyone else who depends on me too. I do feel stronger, more capable. Again, I'm sure men who do this for the first time go through similar emotions.

Bottom line is I'm just glad I did it. And I'm glad to share this experience with wives, mothers, caregivers and others who've learned that taking care of others begins with taking care of self. Some women were blessed enough to have role models who taught them that. Some of us learn it along the way.

Either way, life is certainly richer when lived in balance. That's the lesson I got out of this.



Edited by WhenAllElseFails 2008-10-03 12:32 PM

Fantastic! And I think that if you have put in the training you may already call yourself a triathlete.

Good Luck with your race, you have an awesome attitude.

It's human nature to commit to something we've never done before, then have doubts, repeatedly, that we can do it. Because of swimming, my moments of doubt were almost surpassing my moments of confidence. That day I swam 1000 yards straight, I knew I would never look back, or have doubts again. Yeah, I DNFed once thanks to a flat, and yes, you can get a cramp, or fall, or skid on a slick surface, or have any number of uncontrolled circumstances befall you, But when you KNOW in your head that you can do it, whatever IT is, life is soooo good. It was a coworker, of whom I am very close to, who had the confidence in me, even though my conficence was waning repeatedly, who, for my birthday, put the 'swim, bike, run' magnet on the back of my car. She told me, "it's swim, bike, run...NOT bike, run." I was basically working for the right and privilege to have that magnet on my car. Still have a ways to go, as the swim is my slowest event, but it won't stop me from doing what I want to do.

Congrats on your first Tri. Women or anyone who has felt marginalized, even Caucasion men can be marginalized, but just not as often or in the same ways can after a time have self-doubts. I went to graduate school with a population of students and faculty who hated Catholics and hated men. It is not such a comfortable feeling even if you never get beat up over it. I also had an Evil boss once, very evil, staff were afraid of being physically hit during her random tirades on a daily basis and we had 100 percent annual turnover rate for 5 years. All staff members have some degree of post traumatic stress resulting from working in that environment. Life hits pretty much everyone at times, it doesn't descriminate.

However, electing to not be a victim, but to decide to do something unbeliveable hard, something that 100 percent of your friends and family will say, "how can you ever expect to complete a Triathlon" and then doing it, is very empowering. When you have finished it you will be one of the very select few who have overcome everything negative that anyone has ever said about you and you will be a Triathlete. Part of that becoming is facing your fear, the limitations of your mind and body and just doing it, like plunging into a cold lake. Once the preparation is completed, there is just the doing of it.

Doubts surface before the first Sprint Tri, the first Oly tri, the first HIM and I would put good money I will feel the same way before my first IM. There are several posts on this page on the very topic "am I ready, how do I know that I am ready, please reassure me that this crazy butt whooping thing is not going to defeat me."

The HIM I just completed last Sunday required a level of mental toughness equivalent to that which was demanded during the oral defense of my doctoral dissertation. After training from couch to HIM in 1 year, I had completed a hillier 56 bike than I had anticipated and the temp was over 100 F. It was a struggle to keep running with a stitch in the side and too few water stations. After the first 1 mile I was afraid I was going to have to walk the remaining 12 (some were) I was able to suck it up. The hardest part however, was when my body had walled due to heat, exhertion and dehydration to the point where 1 mile from the finish line I had to decide whether to walk for the first time in a tri or risk not finishing after 6 and a half hours. The hardest decision I have made in 20 years was to decide to walk. It was the right decision and I even ended up wth a 3rd place age group finish. The mental toughness was to let go of what I wanted to do and do what I could do to finish.

Hopefully you won't get to this point on your first Tri, but conquering one's self is even harder than standing up against injustice outside of one's self in the world. Be at peace and welcome to your new family.