For those of you who do celebrate Christmas

my church started doing this two years back - focus on memories/experience/doing rather than giving

http://www.adventconspiracy.org/

it was actually received quite well even in families with younger children (that wouldn't necessarily understand the concept of sacrificing your stuff so others could have their needs)

your kids are too young, but when i was 8 or 9, my mom and aunt took me to a soup kitchen to serve christmas dinner after mass.  that really transformed christmas for me.

i'm looking forward to suggestions in this thread -- i don't have kids yet but will one day and would hate for christmas to be just about "STUFF."

Edited by meherczeg 2010-10-15 7:26 AM

Then make it about Oreo's "Double Stuff"!  And make sure you leave those in the fridge or freezer for a couple of hours first.  YUM!! 

This ^^^^^

I grew up in a non-church going but celebrating Christmas family.  (And now we have a Hanukkah bush, but that's another story for another thread.)  When I grew up Christmas was about getting stuff.  My wife grew up Catholic for the most part and her family had the Happy Birthday Jesus Cake tradition.  When I went to my first Christmas with her family and they trotted out the happy birthday Jesus cake it just kind of clicked as to exactly what Christmas is about.  We have since always had a happy birthday Jesus cake at Christmas, complete with writing and a candle.  I think it is a simple way to refocus the event and remind us that Christmas is Jesus' birthday.  We now celabrate in the Methodist tradition. 

(I know, Jesus was almost certainly not born on December 25th and the primary reason we use the 25th of December was because the Catholic Church rebranded a pagan holiday.  But, it's the date that we use by tradition so I'm sticking with it, even if I'm wrong.)

Thanks! I love this idea. I'm sooo gonna do this with my kids to give them a little perspective.

I would love to do the soup kitchen thing but my kids are too young right now (4, 3, 3, and 7 months) so that has to wait until they are a little older.

Hello, I'll tell you what has worked very well in this family...(while we don't have much religious mention beyond the Merry Christmas Charlie Brown dvd) Christmas is still a very special time.  
The key is keeping presents limited from the beginning...both before AND after Christmas.

"By greed I'm talking about that thing when your child gets to the end of the gifts and then cries for what they didn't get instead of being thankful for everything else. BLAHH, I hate that!!!!!!!" 

^That's not about too much Santa or not enough Jesus...it typically comes from (in my opinion) kids being used to so much during the year that they're not appreciating the little things.  My kids have not put on this kind of display. (if they did, trust me, all presents would be gone)  If you're reading lots of books with the kids, they'll learn about the "bad kids" who don't appreciate their gifts, and they'll emulate the "good kids" who do appreciate what they receive on Christmas.   

I had to have an uncomfortable discussion with my in-laws about gifts when our first child was a few months old.  Gifts are reserved for special occasions in our house.  Gifts are never to exceed a certain value pre-determined by my wife and me.  Yeah, I'm a real Scrooge, but damn does this method make incredibly appreciative kids! 

I say put the focus on appreciating what you have that is truly important.  Unconditional love, a roof over your head, etc.  There's always a terrible tragedy going on in the world...whether it be tsunamis, famines, droughts...even keeping it kid-appropriate, kids pick up pretty quick that they've got it pretty good.

Good luck Rachel...now you've got me wanting Christmas to get here already!  I love it!!!


Edited by ChineseDemocracy 2010-10-15 6:27 PM

For now, anytime of volunteer, community service, or selfless act should do.

I 100% know what you are talking about. You described our house exactly. This is a problem instituted by and perpetuated by my wife and MIL. I have knock down dragout fights with my wife for a full 2 weeks and to a lesser extent 1 month every year leading up to christmas. But it turns out the same materialistic consumer driven charade every year. My only solace is that one day my kids will realize the holiday is about spending time with family and gift giving is simply a monetary expression of your appreciation for the people you love. I try hard to drive that point home every year. My issue is further complicated by being atheist/agnostic so there is zero talk of BBJ. The only thing I can say is that every year after the present opening "extravaganza", I have to have a sit down with all three kids and go ove ether "happiness is wanting what you have not what you don't speech" and the "starving kids in Africa" speech. Kicking around the idea of giving away toys to charity rigt before Christmas in qn attempt to teach a sense of community and to show them that there are family less fortunate.