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Where do I go from here
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 2005-11-14 2:04 PM |
Member 96  Tucson |  Subject: Where do I go from hereTo give some background a little over a year ago I started training and did my first triathlon. I originally started training to lose the excess weight from having 2 children. I was successful in losing the weight and completing my first tri. My husband was very supportive of my training. Well apparently my husband thought after I lost the weight, I would stop training and stop doing tri's. That's not what I want to do at all. I loved doing the tri and I want to do more. I told him this and he has pulled all his support of me training. Every time I get ready to go to the gym he picks a fight with me or plays a guilt card that my girls don't want me to go. This started about 8 months ago. It wore me down and I have stopped training completely since August. We started marriage counseling and that hasn't help much yet. I have felt awful ever since I gave up training. I don't want to stop training and I resent the fact he wants me to. I don't know what to do from here. I am so down and stressed out from all this drama, it's driving me crazy and I don't know what to do anymore.  |
| 2005-11-14 2:12 PM in reply to: #284397 |
Resident Curmudgeon 25290  The Road Back Gold member | Subject: RE: Where do I go from here Tammy Wynette advice: D-I-V-O-R-C-E Take the alimony, give him the kids, and train full time. |
| 2005-11-14 2:15 PM in reply to: #284397 |
| Member 96 Tucson | Subject: RE: Where do I go from here THanks Bear. I wish that would work. Boy to train full time....... |
| 2005-11-14 2:44 PM in reply to: #284397 |
Elite 2768  Raleigh | Subject: RE: Where do I go from here why not do what all other women would do in your situation: Cut him off from sex till he caves in |
| 2005-11-14 2:54 PM in reply to: #284397 |
Master 1845 Athens, Ga. | Subject: RE: Where do I go from here Since you've started counseling, I'm assuming you've had a heart-to-heart. Is there any way for you to reach some sort of compromise? There's probably something he loves to do that he doesn't have to. And does your gym provide child-care services? You could always take the girls with you. Or get up before he does and go running. If you're up before everybody else, that stuffs his argument. While I focus on tris and, right now, running, my husband is concentrating on getting his master's degree. Then it's on to a specialist degree. Both take time, money and sacrifice. And we both realize that. One more thing. Does your hubby really expect you to give up something you've worked hard for, or is he jealous of your time or the fact that you probably/might be able to whip his tail in a race? Guys have such issues with girls being faster |
| 2005-11-14 3:45 PM in reply to: #284461 |
| Member 96 Tucson | Subject: RE: Where do I go from here He's cut me off. I lost all this weight and gained a libido and his has disappeared totally. If I don't initiate, it doesn't happen. I tested him to see if I didn't initiate would he and 2 1/2 months later I caved. |
| 2005-11-14 3:49 PM in reply to: #284470 |
| Member 96 Tucson | Subject: RE: Where do I go from here He's not athletic at all. He doesn't go to the gym or exercise at all. He never has, I am the one who changed because I wanted to feel better about myself. My gym does have day care services that I have used in the past, he doesn't like me taking the girls with me to the gym when he is home but he doesn't want to watch them while I go either. I like your idea of getting up before everyone else and going. I would have to be up at 5 but it might be worth it. Thank you for the suggestion. watergirl - 2005-11-14 11:54 AM Since you've started counseling, I'm assuming you've had a heart-to-heart. Is there any way for you to reach some sort of compromise? There's probably something he loves to do that he doesn't have to. And does your gym provide child-care services? You could always take the girls with you. Or get up before he does and go running. If you're up before everybody else, that stuffs his argument. While I focus on tris and, right now, running, my husband is concentrating on getting his master's degree. Then it's on to a specialist degree. Both take time, money and sacrifice. And we both realize that. One more thing. Does your hubby really expect you to give up something you've worked hard for, or is he jealous of your time or the fact that you probably/might be able to whip his tail in a race? Guys have such issues with girls being faster |
| 2005-11-14 4:21 PM in reply to: #284524 |
Elite 2768 Raleigh | Subject: RE: Where do I go from here trifan76 - 2005-11-14 3:45 PM He's cut me off. I lost all this weight and gained a libido and his has disappeared totally. If I don't initiate, it doesn't happen. I tested him to see if I didn't initiate would he and 2 1/2 months later I caved. two words for you... pool boy |
| 2005-11-14 5:04 PM in reply to: #284397 |
| Member 96 Tucson | Subject: RE: Where do I go from here HA HA HA HA!! I love it! Thanks for the cheer up! |
| 2005-11-14 6:10 PM in reply to: #284397 |
Champion 6627 Rochester Hills, Michigan Gold member | Subject: RE: Where do I go from here Great horny toads, your hub unknowingly, due to tri, got a fit athletic wife, libido on the uptick, and no support for what brought all that to the party? God, that doesn't compute. I don't want to suggest specific compromises...that's your realm...I would volunteer, though, that the conversation between the two of you sounds b-r-o-k-e-n, and that dialogue...healthy or otherwise...is the first step toward a solution. If you get a dialogue, you'll know where you stand. If you don't, then you know where you (collectively) stand....and either way, you'll be able to make pretty fair predictions about the future... BTW...good luck whichever way it goes. I'm in the middle of a big-ass divorce right now, too. Yelp. |
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