Friday Funnies

	Top Ten Pick Up Lines Women Should Use
	10. Wanna come play on my slip and slide?  (I'm particularly fond of this one) 9. If you were a naval captain, would you let me inspect your seamen? 8. This bra is so tight its uncomfortable. 7. You must know a good rain dance, cuz you’re making me wet. 6. Excuse me my lipstick rolled underneath your seat, mind if I get under you? 5. I was thinking of volunteering at the fire department, could I practice sliding down your pole? 4. How many licks does it take to get to the center of your tootsie pop? 3. Stick it in!! 2. Either I just spilled my drink in my lap or I’m really happy to see you. 1. Your face reminds me of a La-Z –Boy, I could sit on it all day long!

Edited by TriComet 2005-11-18 8:23 AM

Now HOW am I suppose to work after that Top 10???  

Yes, that one is particularly dear to me. That and the small cap joke about Jim.

I'm feeling particularly worthless today at work, so I apologize for taking your job with the funnies.

The appropriate door sign after that Top 10

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I need to remember to be careful when I open COJ threads. All I need is one of my students to see my screen and there goes my job!

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Sorry Ryan,
I replaced that with one I took from a funnies earlier in the week. I debated briefly with myself whether my original was ok. Funny...YES! Appropriate?...Perhaps not.

Funny (YES) Appropriate for COJ (YES) but a few parents of these kids might not like that I was looking at it while their children are writting a paper on the biochemistry of ALD.

Edited by nccgrap 2005-11-18 10:46 AM

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally went bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day the "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family."

Moral Of The Story: Always keep your condoms in your car

A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his Batman costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. She put on a Goldilocks costume. So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After some more to drink he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie in the back seat.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put her costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening." "You must have looked really silly wearing that Batman costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the husband replied,
"Actually, I gave my costume to your Dad. Apparently he had a whale of a time. He told me he got lucky with a hottie in a Goldilocks outfit"

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