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tupuppy

2006-01-27 11:39 AM

COURT JESTER

12230

ROCKFORD, IL

Subject: Friday Funnies

The Sensitive Man:

(Sensitive men.JPG)

Attachments
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Sensitive men.JPG (40KB - 1 downloads)

My Race Log

tupuppy

2006-01-27 11:42 AM

in reply to: #333289

COURT JESTER

12230

ROCKFORD, IL

Subject: RE: Friday Funnies

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks a bold question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "Shit."

-----------------------------------------------

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of North Carolina."
And they say blondes are dumb...
_______________________

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
_______________________

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says
as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you
think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_______________________

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted
to make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.
______________________

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart.
_______________________

He said - What have you been doing with
all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
______________________

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
_______________________

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating
their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day
a good fairy came to them and said that because
they had been such a devoted couple she would
grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the ! world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.. Whoosh...
immediately he turned ninety!!!
...Gotta love that fairy !

AND THE BEST ONES YET...

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
* She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
* Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
* Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
* Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
* And her husband is on the back of the milk carton

My Race Log

Brett

2006-01-27 12:24 PM

in reply to: #333289