Becoming Sober (Page 12)

smarti, AA meetings are not one size fits all. Shop around even if you have to drive clear across town to find a group that makes you feel comfortable. You'd do the same to meet the gang for drinks right? Another thing to keep in mind is that you are not going to click with everyone in AA that you meet. And don't worry about that. Think of it like a swim club you might belong to. Everyone in the group likes to swim, but you don't necessarily like everyone in the club. AA is like any other social group with the common thread being that we can't drink "normally." You don't have to become best friends with everyone and everyone won't necessarily want to be friends with you either. Everyone there is struggling with their own issues in some form or another and they might not come across the way you'd prefer at first. They are just trying to help you the best way they know how . The first 4 or 5 meetings I went to, there was this guy who I thought was a real arrogant ahole. He seemed to like to hear himself talk and comandeered the meeting even if he wasn't chairing the darned thing. He wound up sponsoring me and ultimately helped me discover the missing piece to my "puzzle." I'm glad I stuck around and gave the arrogant ahole a chance. Turns out, my perception of the guy was a combination of jealousy and arrogance on my part!! Self discovery is a real eye opener at times. Hang in there it will get better

Read the Big Book! It really helpful.

I told the guys at the first meeting I went to that I was 18 hours since my last drink. They all basically held my hand, you know in a figurative man hand holding sort of way.  One of the guys got up crossed the room flopped a $10  bill in the basket and took a book off the pile and gave it to me.  He said, read this it helps.  It did.

The next meeting I got to was the next day.  I had read about 1/3 of the book.  Everyone did their, Hi I am blank and I am an alcoholic.

I wasn't ready to say it yet, but I came up with "Hi I am Flapjack and according to the book I am an alcoholic."  That got a big laugh.

Being an alcoholic is great! As long as you don't drink!

Don't resent not being able to drink.  Resentment kills!

Some guy in a meeting said that once.

Resentment Kills!

x1 What he said 

This x1000. My sobriety is not alcohol based, but food based. Before finding abstinence, the thought that I would never have X Y or Z again (and no one told me what X Y or Z were, I had to figure it out for myself, and it wasn't a mystery) -- filled me with resentment for people who could consume those substances without excess. I couldn't embrace abstinence until I was prepared for that to just not be part of me anymore.

I can't say what will happen to you, all I can do is offer you my experience when I have seen others do this.... it usually does not end well. You might want to take a look at that.... or not.

You do not have to "prove" anything. Either you make a decision to not do it, or you make a decision to do it. It really is that simple. "Proving" you can do it without drinking usually ends up with drinking.

Instead of proving you can be by it without doing it, why not prove you can go to 3 meetings today? Or prove you can call your sponsor everyday for 30 days. Or prove you can make 90 in 90. Lots of more positive things you could be proving. Just trying to help. Keep up the good work.

Yes, it's not about proving you have power over alcohol, it's about surrendering to it, and admitting that you have no power over it.

If you continue to fight with your addiction, you will lose.  If you surrender to it.....you never have to fight it again.

Then it gets better from there.

Hi, sober and curious friends, and supporters!

I love having this thread, as well as online meetings to go to as I'm not able to get out.

I just wanted to post a resource for those who are new to sobriety or thinking about stopping drinking. It's AA's 20 Questions, to help review your drinking honestly and see whether you may have a problem. (They're found many places on the 'Web, you can Google it. AA publishes it as a pamphlet).

http://www.aatoronto.org/webapp/app/webroot/index.php/pages/20_questions

Now that deserves a big {MELON PRESS}.

Just for information ... Bill W and Dr. Bob were the founders of AA and, with other early members, creators of the Twelve Steps.

Hello All!

Hope all is well!

I am still sober.  I went and drove 14 hours each way this weekend and spent a couple days with my best friend.  It was one of the most amazing weekends I have ever had.  It was amazing how after not seeing each other for 2 years, her and I re-connected almost instantly. It was pretty tough to leave yesterday morning though, and I still have a pretty heavy heart today....but it'll be okay.

Miss you all, here's to another day!!!

Glad you had a great weekend!  Still rockin' and rollin' here, got a new bike this weekend, so i couldn't be happier!  

Hope you are having a great day!!! 

I had a long talk on Saturday with a friend who lost his mother to alcohol two years ago and is still struggling with it.  He had no idea I was going to A.A.  and I explained to the best of my ability how an alcoholic really has no control over their drinking.  I told him about my argument within myself as I was opening the door to the liquor store.  I absolutely did NOT want to be there, to go in the store, to drink, yet I did.  I've  been to at least two meetings a week since.  That was over 130 days ago...

I think it helped him, at least I hope it did.  It helped me to believe that I may have said something that would help him.

How we all doing out there?

Not to bad...it's been raining constantly since last night, and my dog is freaked.  I honestly thought the idea of a "thunder shirt" for a dog was malarky, but I might be willing to invest in one if this keeps up! Going to have to hit the gym for my run since there is lightning out there.  Otherwise it is the coolest it has been in awhile, so bummer I can't be outside.  

How are you doing? 

I'm doing good.

Spending the evening doing some job searching...away from here.  I think that it's time to move away and start over...

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. I'd run that one by your sponsor.

Why do you think it's time to move away and start over?

Just a thought ... if it's for external reasons, like there are no jobs where you're at and the one you're in is very destructive to you somehow, that's one thing. If it's for internal reasons ... keep in mind ... wherever you go, there you are.

It's something that I have wanted to do for a long time.....idk

The biggest thing I have learned during my journey so far, is that you have to take it one day at a time.

Make it a daily goal to lay a sober head on your pillow every night...

*hugs*

You can do it!!

I know people that have several 90 day medallions.  Get right back on the program.  I have 138 days this time...!