Run your azz off Ghoulies pt. 2!!! (Page 13)

1) You think too much. I realize this is the pot calling the kettle black, but stop it--can't help it. Just the way it is.
I understand. You wouldn't believe what kind of stuff goes through my head. Sometimes I wish I could turn off the thinky. Oh I would beleive it because of what I can come up with in my head. It's good knowing I'm not the only one then. There's safety in numbers. I've been told that some of my tendencies are going to make me a really good clinician, but I feel that they will make me fail in real life. Haha. Overanalysis: Work 1, Life 0. Unless work is my life...then am I a winner? I think no is the answer...seeing how I've had about 5 lectures this past year on "balance"<---things like this go through my head. Also things like...I am going to be a cat lady...a cat lady with really cool bicycles because I will have money to buy really cool bicycles and then do bike tours through France after watching the Tour...or...I would meet Andy on one of these bike tours and get married and live in Luxembourg and frame our twin jerseys side by side. (Imagination + overanalysis) If the failure has to do with meeting the right man and having a family, then going without a plan is alright.  I thought I was doomed to be the cat lady, but when the right guy came along, we were engaged within 3 weeks of going out, married 10 months later, and have been happily married now for 28 years and still going strong.

2) Straightforward in my experience is not always the best laid plan.--I know...but no plan is fool proof and I get over it easier/faster when it doesn't go my way. Throw plans out the window and shoot from the hip. Be spontaneous. Try it, you might like it. Hahahahahahaha...I think even my spontanaity is calculated. Mind you, I actually raced better when I didn't really have a plan..."see what happens" seems to be a good life plan for me. So you raced better when you didn't have a plan? I wonder what else would go better without a plan? I know, I know...I feel compelled to have a plan...I feel sloppy with no plan almost. What plans, just have dreams and make them come true.

3) Sometimes it's the chase that is the most fun--it also annoys everyone around me, I've never enjoyed it. And if the chase is the most fun...then what is after the chase? After the chase? Reality. Why can't reality be fun? Life is such a bioootch, and then you die. Reality does suck, if you let it. It can be fun, too, if you know how to do it right. Flying by the seat of your pants and being SPONTANEOUS is fun for me. Doing something for the first time. Taking a trip somewhere I've never been before. All parts of reality. All fun. Vegas is spontaneous...I only have 1 month to plan!...I do do flying by the seat of my pants stuff...then I think about it and decide if it was the best plan...buyer's remorse. Or you play hard to get and don't even realize it.  Hubby thought I was playing hard to get and coy, and then it turned out that I was telling him the truth when I said I was doing "nothing" over my weekend.  He thought I just didn't want to tell him.  LOL

4) When it comes to matters of the heart you have to trust your heart and block out what your head is saying--But my head is smart and tells me things like "No...you do not want to go out with the guy who was arrested and charged with fraud for writing a fake cheque for 10000$..."<---actually happened...no joke. Blind date info that I found out after the fact and after my friend had been on me for about a month to go out with this guy...never happening again, ever. Your head is smart, but it can play tricks on you. Sometimes it listens to things it shouldn't or it doesn't see what it should. Your gut doesn't lie. Your head can overanalyze, your gut cannot. Yeah, going out with that guy would not have been a good idea. Ya...it was pretty special. He is now nicknamed "the felon". SO what happens when your gut says yes, but your head says "you are an idiot"...? I'd give a diagnosis of a stomach virus. Lot's of fluids, I'd say at minimum 80 proof until you puke, then reexamine the situation. I think I would be in the same situation as I am now. The heard knows when it is the right time.

5) You should try and get a nap today. --I can't...I have surgery and an experiment all day. Sorry. Be careful with sharp objects when you're tired. Don't run with scalpels. I will try. I'm fairly certain today's surgery will be linked to the outcome of the stage rather than my state of fatigue...which I guess means I can't mention someone's name or how my surgery/experiment is going. Also means that I should not be a surgeon--yet again confirming this one. My podiatrist said he always knew he wanted to be a doctor, but he never wanted to have to deal with patients deaths, that's why he treats feet and ankles. Most people know what is best for them, even though they don't always listen. I have nothing...haha... well, nothing works for me too.

Sorry, I just had to jump into this coversation. 

1) You think too much. I realize this is the pot calling the kettle black, but stop it--can't help it. Just the way it is.
I understand. You wouldn't believe what kind of stuff goes through my head. Sometimes I wish I could turn off the thinky. Oh I would beleive it because of what I can come up with in my head. It's good knowing I'm not the only one then. There's safety in numbers. I've been told that some of my tendencies are going to make me a really good clinician, but I feel that they will make me fail in real life. Haha. Overanalysis: Work 1, Life 0. Unless work is my life...then am I a winner? I think no is the answer...seeing how I've had about 5 lectures this past year on "balance"<---things like this go through my head. Also things like...I am going to be a cat lady...a cat lady with really cool bicycles because I will have money to buy really cool bicycles and then do bike tours through France after watching the Tour...or...I would meet Andy on one of these bike tours and get married and live in Luxembourg and frame our twin jerseys side by side. (Imagination + overanalysis) If the failure has to do with meeting the right man and having a family, then going without a plan is alright.  I thought I was doomed to be the cat lady, but when the right guy came along, we were engaged within 3 weeks of going out, married 10 months later, and have been happily married now for 28 years and still going strong. Now my Mom is in the back of my head saying, "what are you doing? you are in medicine/residency...don't get married now...blah blah blah blah blah"...Oh cat lady thoughts--Well I'm glad it worked out for you, this gives me hope that I will not be a cat lady with bicycles! Also, this would be a gut says yes, brain says "wtf are you doing?" for me...given the whole medicine and residency part...well I am available if Andy is taken - just saying (and no I am not available but for bike riding through Europe I might make myself ) sigh Andy...haha. Well at least I have a volunteer escort for biking through Europe.


4) When it comes to matters of the heart you have to trust your heart and block out what your head is saying--But my head is smart and tells me things like "No...you do not want to go out with the guy who was arrested and charged with fraud for writing a fake cheque for 10000$..."<---actually happened...no joke. Blind date info that I found out after the fact and after my friend had been on me for about a month to go out with this guy...never happening again, ever. Your head is smart, but it can play tricks on you. Sometimes it listens to things it shouldn't or it doesn't see what it should. Your gut doesn't lie. Your head can overanalyze, your gut cannot. Yeah, going out with that guy would not have been a good idea. Ya...it was pretty special. He is now nicknamed "the felon". SO what happens when your gut says yes, but your head says "you are an idiot"...? I'd give a diagnosis of a stomach virus. Lot's of fluids, I'd say at minimum 80 proof until you puke, then reexamine the situation. I think I would be in the same situation as I am now. The heard knows when it is the right time. Time can be wrong though. Right person, wrong time?then it was not meant to be - the movie Serendipity will speak of that! I cannot tell you enough how much I HATE this movie...HATE HATE HATE...the idea behind it drives me insane!!!!

HATE HATE HATE