Training Effects on Family Life

Extreme Veteran

580

Subject: RE: Training Effects on Family Life

Let me preface this by saying that I have an incredibly supportive husband!

I am training for IMFL right now and am currently averaging about 14:00 hours a week and building (peaking at 20:00). I do the majority of my workouts before work while everyone is asleep. I run long during the week so that I don’t have to do the long run on the weekend. I get tired in the afternoons, but it gets easier as it becomes routine. I also workout almost every day at lunch. So, this week, of my 14:00 schedule, 9:30 will be done before work and at lunch. I almost never workout in the evenings. Saturday I will do a 4 hour bike ride and a 30 minute run. If I am riding by first light, I am home before lunch. I actually get home and make lunch, then take a shower! I take Sundays as my off day and let my husband sleep in as late as he wants and I get up early with the kids (ages 2.5 and 5) (thankfully, they sleep until at least 8:00 so it is my one day a week of sleeping in!).

I agree with the previous posters about setting expectations but also you need to return the favor! The other thing I found to be important is to not complain about getting up early, the hours you are putting in, etc. Talk to your family about things other than training. On the rare occasion I do complain about how tired I am going to be when I wake up in the morning, my hubby reminds me that it is my choice and it is a choice I am happy to make. Also, as a PP suggested, you might have to sacrifice some recovery time, but I plan the weekend activities accordingly and you will not even miss it!

I also work full time and commute and hour each way, so I fully appreciate and understand how challenging fitting it all in can be. You find time for what is important to you. My house may not be tidy every night, but everyone is generally pretty happy! Come November, I know that my husband will be more proud of me than I could even be proud of myself and I can say without hesitation that while I might be doing the 140.6 November 7, when I cross that finish line, I will not have done it alone.

Veteran

126

Subject: RE: Training Effects on Family Life

irondreams - 2009-08-05 10:45 AM

Let me preface this by saying that I have an incredibly supportive husband!

I am training for IMFL right now and am currently averaging about 14:00 hours a week and building (peaking at 20:00). I do the majority of my workouts before work while everyone is asleep. I run long during the week so that I don’t have to do the long run on the weekend. I get tired in the afternoons, but it gets easier as it becomes routine. I also workout almost every day at lunch. So, this week, of my 14:00 schedule, 9:30 will be done before work and at lunch. I almost never workout in the evenings. Saturday I will do a 4 hour bike ride and a 30 minute run. If I am riding by first light, I am home before lunch. I actually get home and make lunch, then take a shower! I take Sundays as my off day and let my husband sleep in as late as he wants and I get up early with the kids (ages 2.5 and 5) (thankfully, they sleep until at least 8:00 so it is my one day a week of sleeping in!).

I agree with the previous posters about setting expectations but also you need to return the favor! The other thing I found to be important is to not complain about getting up early, the hours you are putting in, etc. Talk to your family about things other than training. On the rare occasion I do complain about how tired I am going to be when I wake up in the morning, my hubby reminds me that it is my choice and it is a choice I am happy to make. Also, as a PP suggested, you might have to sacrifice some recovery time, but I plan the weekend activities accordingly and you will not even miss it!

I also work full time and commute and hour each way, so I fully appreciate and understand how challenging fitting it all in can be. You find time for what is important to you. My house may not be tidy every night, but everyone is generally pretty happy! Come November, I know that my husband will be more proud of me than I could even be proud of myself and I can say without hesitation that while I might be doing the 140.6 November 7, when I cross that finish line, I will not have done it alone.

Well said.

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Pro

4228

Broomfield, Colorado

Subject: RE: Training Effects on Family Life

^^^ LOL on the "single" and "married" waves!

This topic is something that weighs heavily on me. I did an IM last year (kids were 2 and 6). My husband was awesome. Very supportive. He also does tri's so I think his support is ingrained. As many people have said, early mornings are the easiest on everyone involved. Certainly for the OP, working nights makes that difficult. On weekends for the long training, I started EARLY. As soon as the sun was up (and sometimes before), I'd start my workouts if possible. Again, that helped minimize the time that my husband had the kids alone. During the week, I went to Masters swims after my kids went to bed. If I missed masters, I'd swim at 24 Hour Fitness at 9pm.

Creativity in your scheduling is important. Communication is key. Paybacks to the spouse help too.

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Expert

819

Subject: RE: Training Effects on Family Life

Thanks to all! I have read every post. I think part of the problem is that I went from doing nothing for myself (training, sports, bars, golf, friends), to training now about 8+hrs/wk. The nights issue makes AM workouts tougher, but I only work 13-15 shifts/month, so the other 16-18 mornings I can get up early. I already swim at 5:30 on Mondays and Thursdays. The toughest part right now is the 2 hr bike and the 2-3 hour run(Fall Marathon) every week. My 1st OLY is in 3 1/2 weeks then it will be 1 long run a week until October 18th. Next year I will only do Sprints and a Fall Marathon. When the kids are all in school in 2 years, then this all goes away since I will be home when they are in school and working out will be easy.

Thank you again. When I cross the finish line I will have my wife and kids in my mind 1st but all of the BTers who have been so helpful will be right behind.

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Master

2380

Beijing

Subject: RE: Training Effects on Family Life

bachorb - 2009-08-04 10:23 AM
But kudos to you guys. I think it sets a great example for kids to have active and healthy parents.

Ding, ding ding!   We have a winner.   I'm doing this for my whole family, not just for myself. My FIL is about 62 years old, and about 80lbs overweight. He's got knee problems, eye problems, fitness problems.   He's about ready to retire.   He "helped" me build my house last year. I installed the outlets in the entire rest of the house while he did: the kitchen.   He couldn't help carry anything from the garage into the house, because there's 2 steps there, and he cant navigate steps without holding on to something.

Don't get me wrong, I love this man, and he's a good FIL.   But I made myself a promise that I WILL NOT ignore my health for the next 30 years, and end up not being able to enjoy my family, my retirement, etc. We went on a family vacation earlier this month with my family. My parents are 57. Dad and I did a 10 mile hike at 10,000ft elevation. I went back later in the week and did it on a MTB.   I also ran 3 miles of it earlier in the week. Dad ran alot of half-marathons when I was a kid. He got the whole family into running for a little while.   It's paying off for him. I almost waited too long (32) to learn the lesson.

My Point:   I assuage some of my guilt by knowing that I'm INVESTING in my future. I also know that setting a good example for my kids will encourage them to have healthy lifestyles. I also hope that setting a good example for my wife will encourage her too.

My next step is to HTFU an start setting that alarm for 4 AM.   I'm ready for some OLY and HIM action, and I know that's not going to happen unless I give up sleep time, because I'm NOT giving up family time!

Dean Karnazes only needs 4 hrs of sleep, so I should be fine with 6, right? right? :^)

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Extreme Veteran

339

Subject: RE: Training Effects on Family Life

Yeah, I have a hard time with this too. Not really so much because my husband gets mad that I’m gone but more so because I would like to spend more time with him then what I do. It use to bug him when I would be gone for a good portion of the evening but I think he understands now that this is something I want to do and really enjoy. He also knows how much I would LOVE to have him join me but it’s his choice and he chooses not to. I have begged him to come train with me but he won’t so I do it on my own… I think my solution to this is going to end up being: me going to bed earlier than 12 or 1 in the morning and getting up before him to go train. I think that is about the only thing that will make both of us happy.

Kudos to all of the parents out there. I know how hard it is just being a full time student and employee, I can only imagine how much harder it would be if I added a child into the mix. Besides I would like to have at least a HIM under my belt before I have any children (don’t know how that will fly with my hubby but I can dream… at least for now)

105

Subject: RE: Training Effects on Family Life

autigers_1998 - 2009-08-05 5:35 AM It sounds like you have little ones at home and working at night definitely makes things a little more complicated. I would talk to your wife and see if you can work out a compromise. You want to train and race, it's important to you - what is important to her? Can you watch the kids while she goes shopping (kid-free) for a couple of hours or while she goes and get a pedicure? (or something)

Or the other option (if you're home all day) is to work out when the kids are napping? Or do one early in the morning, when you get home, before they wake up?

... the last thing I wanted to do was stay at home while my husband went out and had fun and I stayed at home even more than I already did. This is before I started Tri training and it used to make me mad. I was frustrated and jealous at the same time. Talk to your wife before it snowballs in to something bigger. I started training and we worked out a balance so we could both get in our workouts.

X2. Also, for the OP about after your workout don't take all day to recover. Once you are done with training, do a quick recovery meal, shower and then be ready to go to the park, Zoo, beach, play outside the rest of the day...Both me and my husband are triathletes and have kids and work. It is tough when one of us wants to do a 3+hr run on a Saturday am and then we still want to get the kids out of the house for a fun weekend. The relax/recovery time comes after the kids are in bed.

Edited by Swim Chick 2009-08-05 2:49 PM

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Member

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Subject: RE: Training Effects on Family Life

This is my first year of triathlons and I love putting in the training hours, but like most other posters in this thread it does put some strain on the family relationships. One thing I have learned in my brief training experience is that it pays to be completely open about when and for how long you will be training. I have a scheduling meeting at the beginning of the week with my spouse and let her know my training plans for the week. Then I will post my training schedule on the refrigerator so there are no surprises. This serves a dual purpose as my wife holds me to that schedule and calls me a slacker whenever I do not follow it as outlined. As far as the kids are concerned (3 and 7 yrs old) I restrict my workouts during the week to after they go to bed. I have reserved one day a week, Sundays as a family day when I will not do any training. This makes long workouts tough as I need to squeeze my long run (typically 2 hours) into a weekday but it is a compromise to keep sanity in the house. My wife is very supportive of me, but I'd be lying if I said there have not been a few silent afternoons after a long ride.

One note about recovering after a long ride or run; suck it up cause you will not get any sympathy from your spouse and you must continue through your day as if you had not just completed a 3.5 hour brick (or whatever) workout. My wife is a portrait and wedding photographer and I second shoot for her during weddings. My recovery after long Saturday workouts normally consists of photographing weddings the rest of the day and into the evening. Not something I recommend to anyone, but it helps keep the peace. It's all about compromise.

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63

Subject: RE: Training Effects on Family Life

LOL! I am a portrait and wedding photographer as well, and my longest workout of the week is usually on sat morn. I know what you mean! Carrying around many pounds of photo equip all day is the farthest from recovery you can get!

I am lucky in the fact my husband, after first getting annoyed at my time gone, decided to join me in my efforts. Now we do our long sessions together once or twice a week. I must big x2 on early morning workouts for everything else. I am so NOT a morning person but I have learned to enjoy getting my workout out of the way and spending the rest of the day fulfilling my other obligations.

Pro

6767

the Alabama part of Pennsylvania

Subject: RE: Training Effects on Family Life

moondawg14 - 2009-08-05 2:20 PM

bachorb - 2009-08-04 10:23 AM
But kudos to you guys. I think it sets a great example for kids to have active and healthy parents.

Ding, ding ding!   We have a winner.   I'm doing this for my whole family, not just for myself. My FIL is about 62 years old, and about 80lbs overweight. He's got knee problems, eye problems, fitness problems.   He's about ready to retire.   He "helped" me build my house last year. I installed the outlets in the entire rest of the house while he did: the kitchen.   He couldn't help carry anything from the garage into the house, because there's 2 steps there, and he cant navigate steps without holding on to something.

Don't get me wrong, I love this man, and he's a good FIL.   But I made myself a promise that I WILL NOT ignore my health for the next 30 years, and end up not being able to enjoy my family, my retirement, etc. We went on a family vacation earlier this month with my family. My parents are 57. Dad and I did a 10 mile hike at 10,000ft elevation. I went back later in the week and did it on a MTB.   I also ran 3 miles of it earlier in the week. Dad ran alot of half-marathons when I was a kid. He got the whole family into running for a little while.   It's paying off for him. I almost waited too long (32) to learn the lesson.

My Point:   I assuage some of my guilt by knowing that I'm INVESTING in my future. I also know that setting a good example for my kids will encourage them to have healthy lifestyles. I also hope that setting a good example for my wife will encourage her too.

My next step is to HTFU an start setting that alarm for 4 AM.   I'm ready for some OLY and HIM action, and I know that's not going to happen unless I give up sleep time, because I'm NOT giving up family time!

Dean Karnazes only needs 4 hrs of sleep, so I should be fine with 6, right? right? :^)

I would be careful about looking at a big time commitment and justifying it as doing it "for the family". The reality is, unless you train at times when the kids are asleep, you are absent from their lives. And while you might live a long time, you will have missed a lot of time with the kids.

If they are young enough, the bike trailer/jogging stroller is the best way to go. think of it as resistance training! If the kids are older, you will have to make some sacrifices - not being in peak shape, or getting up extra early or staying up extra late to get in the training. I found it actually easier to train when I was in my residency because the kids were very young then, compared to a few years later when I was first in practice and they were too big for the trailer, but too small to be left on their own.

If you are making a one-time commitment to a big race, it can serve as a role model of working to acheive a goal. But year after year, it will start to look more like you are just doing things for yourself. Especially if there are a lot of times you are not doing things with the kids because of the training/recovery schedule.

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Training Effects on Family Life (Page 2)

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