No more triathlon for me (Page 2)

How about you pick something she likes to do, find a few articles linking death/health issues/marriage issues to that , and forbid her to do so. I am sure you could do that from things ranging from any physical activity (gym, yoga, aerobics) to mundane things like shopping or girls night out.

Or but a set of drums and tell her that you need to spend all that tri-energy in something else now...and start playing them at 10 pm.

To play devil's advocate, it sounds like your wife has real fears.  Don't minimize or dismiss her feelings.  Marriage is not 50/50, each of you needs to give 100%.  Take it slow, keep training, and maybe she'll come around.  Eventually you will hopefully convince her being healthy is more of a benefit than the risk of an occasional race.

My wife started commenting on me training too much.  Rather than stop training, I started training while she was still asleep.  Turns out she could care less about what I do at 4:30 in the morning.  I also stopped talking about it.  I save that for the group bike rides on Saturday.

She still goes to races with me and puts up with a few comments from neighbors about her crazy husband that rides his bike all over town, but I don't share my obsession with her as much and it is much more peaceful.

Time to find a new Hobby... Competition Aerobatics comes to mind Or  Rock climbing, You should have seen my wife 20 years ago when I had 3 small boys at home and would grab my Chute and head off to the airport for some practice ,  now when I say I am going for a swim/ bike or/ run she's like ya OK have a good one sigh, Smile.

No Seriously; Sit down and have a good heart to heart, and explain why you feel you need to do this listen to her concerns as well, I  am sure there is some middle ground to be had somewhere.

Yeah, I was going to suggest telling her you're taking up sky diving.  See how she likes the accident survival rate on that hobby.  Not that I think it's crazy dangerous, but generally speaking, if something bad happens, it's gonna be real bad.

Sorry man. Sounds like you have bigger fish to fry.

X2 here, pretty ridiculous on her part.  She's not aware people who do tri's (and train for them) are in better shape than most people?  I had a 48 year old neighbor who dropped dead doing his routine run around the neighborhood one Saturday morning.  Guy appeared to be in perfect health. If you are going to have a heart attack while swimming, you'll have it by running. Are you not allowed to jog around the neighborhood either? As others somewhat facetiously say, are you no longer allowed to drive a car as well? If you seriously enjoy tri's and want to stay in the sport, you should take your wife to your doctor and have him explain why she should not have these feelings. 

X2 here, pretty ridiculous on her part.  She's not aware people who do tri's (and train for them) are in better shape than most people?  I had a 48 year old neighbor who dropped dead doing his routine run around the neighborhood one Saturday morning.  Guy appeared to be in perfect health. If you are going to have a heart attack while swimming, you'll have it by running and/or biking. Are you not allowed to jog or ride a bike around the neighborhood either? As others somewhat facetiously say, are you no longer allowed to drive a car as well? If you seriously enjoy tri's and want to stay in the sport, you should take your wife to your doctor and have him/her explain why she should not have these feelings. 

x3

Wait, you can't even swim in the pool?  All the swim deaths we hear about have come in open water.  (I think.)  How many deaths have come from swimming in the pool?  So with that logic, you should still be able to get some pool time.

Life is dangerous.

Did a Google search on 'benefits of swimming'. The following links were the first couple on the first page. Maybe you can arm yourself with a little web knowledge to persuade your sig. other to reconsider.

http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/aging/retirement/10-health-benefits-of-swimming.htm

http://swimming.about.com/od/swimworkouts/a/swim_benefit.htm

http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/features/fitness-basics-swimming-is-for-everyone

http://www.cdc.gov/healthywater/swimming/health_benefits_water_exercise.html

http://www.livestrong.com/benefits-of-swimming/

Good luck!

^^ Agree.

I believe in compromise on time spent training, working out schedules, and money spent on tris. But my wife is smart enough to know not to forbid from me anything but cheating on her. 

You give up on this one and the precedent is set that she controls what you do. Not okay in my book. I'd kindly but firmly let her know that tris are happening whether she likes it or not, she can choose to be supportive or not, but she can't tell you what not to do. 

Bad news when a marriage isn't built on mutual respect and independence. 

Not to sound Pschyco advicish... but..

I'd give it a bit of time... Then ask more questions.

And if this is very devastating to you you should prepare a share of heart..

Honestly, it sound like she's a few issues.. And it might not necessarily be all about fears of your demise during swimming.

I can't imagine my husband "forbidding" me to do something based on overblown fears.. 

While I get your wife's fear, it's completely unacceptable, unfair and plain unreasonable. It's very tough when your spouse doesn't fully support hobbies such as tri (I know from first-hand experience), the relationship struggles.

I hope things change for you.

I think the big thing is conversation.  As everyone has stated there are dangers everywhere.  We can't live without dangers.  The key is to find out what is needed to help her get her fear to a manageable level.  She doesn't worry constantly when you are driving or flying, what skills that help her manage your driving or flying can be carried over to swimming.  Maybe it's multiple steps -- doctor approval, pool swimming with a life guard, open water swim with a life guard, one of those inflatable life jackets that you can strap to your thigh.  It has to be a conversation of give and take from both sides - drawing a line in the sand will only be disastrous.  

BTW - I am the wife of a triathlete and a triathlete myself, and I have to say the coverage of swim deaths does cause some worries for me.  It is something that my husband and I have talked about.  We have a pact that we will NOT HFU on the swim.  If we feel something odd going on, we will go to a lifeguard, buoy, or kayak. DNF is much better than RIP.

Good luck