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Becoming Sober (Page 22)
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 2012-09-13 9:39 PM in reply to: #4056558 |
Extreme Veteran 379   A'ali, Bahrain |  Subject: RE: Becoming SoberThis thread is such a great antidote to news in the middle east and negative election ads. Please hang tough all and thank you for what you are doing in your lives. |
| 2012-09-14 1:01 AM in reply to: #4410440 |
Elite 5145 Cleveland | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober ebshot - 2012-09-13 8:18 PM Got my 1 month coin tonight! To be honest though, I am struggling. I feel myself wanting to isolate myself and I'm having a very hard time making myself do anything. But I keep telling myself that drinking will only make those feelings worse. Congrats! Honestly, the feelings of isolation and such is something that I've been fighting the last several days as well. I've been going through - to be honest - a bit of woe-is-me, selfish, self-centered despair over the things in life that will never turn out the way I want them to be (and that's as much detail as I'll give it on here). I've not found it necessary to take a drink over it.... you are correct, drinking won't make any of it any better. It won't change a single fact about my life. The answer for me this time is the same as it's been every time that I've gotten depressed and felt this way: I have to get the heck out of my own head and adjust my perspective. It is a choice to do so. I can be down about the things that aren't as I'd like them to be, or I can be happy and grateful for the things I do have in my life today. I also have been kinda getting back-to-basics with AA lately. For years, I went to meetings 4 nights a week. To keep it short - over time that became three a week, and for the last two years it has been two a week. Tonight, I put that back up to three a week. I went to the meeting, sat with my sponsor and for the first time in a while, the speakers this week have really had something to say that has resonated with me. The reality, of course, is that they've always had something to say - I just needed to listen better  May Day 31 be better for you |
| 2012-09-14 9:42 AM in reply to: #4410656 |
Elite 3277  Minnetonka | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober tinninches - 2012-09-13 9:30 PM ebshot - 2012-09-13 7:18 PM Got my 1 month coin tonight! To be honest though, I am struggling. I feel myself wanting to isolate myself and I'm having a very hard time making myself do anything. But I keep telling myself that drinking will only make those feelings worse.
I can't imagine how you are feeling, but I'm fairly certain you'll feel far worse once you realized you've got to start all over again. My sponsor calls this a pity party. I used to drink alone, I would just get the kids to bed and watch TV and drink and be mad at myself for how I felt in the morning. Isolation is a danger to many alcoholics. My first 30 days were tough. It does get easier, and what made it easier for me was going to a couple meetings (One's that I like, I went to several and picked two that work for me) and talking with my sponsor who is no smarter than I am, he's just been sober longer than me.. I'm at 9 months now (This is my second try, I relapsed last Christmas). I'm doing awesome today! |
| 2012-09-14 12:40 PM in reply to: #4056558 |
Elite 6387 | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober The fastest way to get out of yourself is to help someone else. Be of service. Life on life's terms is not always easy. The program never promised me freedom from adversity, it just gave me a way of dealing with it. Misery is optional. |
| 2012-09-14 12:41 PM in reply to: #4411264 |
Elite 4372 Connecticut | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober SoberTriGuy - 2012-09-14 10:42 AM tinninches - 2012-09-13 9:30 PM ebshot - 2012-09-13 7:18 PM Got my 1 month coin tonight! To be honest though, I am struggling. I feel myself wanting to isolate myself and I'm having a very hard time making myself do anything. But I keep telling myself that drinking will only make those feelings worse.
I can't imagine how you are feeling, but I'm fairly certain you'll feel far worse once you realized you've got to start all over again. My sponsor calls this a pity party. I used to drink alone, I would just get the kids to bed and watch TV and drink and be mad at myself for how I felt in the morning. Isolation is a danger to many alcoholics. My first 30 days were tough. It does get easier, and what made it easier for me was going to a couple meetings (One's that I like, I went to several and picked two that work for me) and talking with my sponsor who is no smarter than I am, he's just been sober longer than me.. I'm at 9 months now (This is my second try, I relapsed last Christmas). I'm doing awesome today! Ha, I am sure my sponsor would say the same, she is pretty no nonsense. I called her and left a message. She called back but I missed the call. I'll give her a call back soon. |
| 2012-09-15 3:52 PM in reply to: #4056558 |
504 | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober Getting pretty tired of the guys at work. I know they think I'm weird cuz I don't drink and am physically fit. Oh, you mean I'm the crazy one because I don't drink 18 beers every night (anymore). Funny side- We were talking about weight loss (none of my coworkers will EVER lose weight, but I will encourage them if they want to try) and I told them that I once heard "six pack abs start in the kitchen". Another guy says "the problem I have is the six pack in the refrigerator in the kitchen" HA and UGH. |
| 2012-10-01 7:14 PM in reply to: #4056558 |
Pro 6838 Tejas | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober Bump - How ya'll doing out there? |
| 2012-10-01 7:20 PM in reply to: #4435984 |
Expert 900 | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober mdg2003 - 2012-10-01 7:14 PM Bump - How ya'll doing out there?
Great! I don't know how many days it's been, I just know that I am still sober, and couldn't be happier.
How about you?? |
| 2012-10-02 8:48 AM in reply to: #4056558 |
Pro 6838 Tejas | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober Great! You got your **** wired enough to go on vacation in PlayCar? I read the other thread and immediately thought that it would be an amazingly tempting setting for a newly minted sober dude! You should be OK, just be careful. One thing you'll enjoy, is laughing at all the wasted gringos making arses out of themselves. Don't be that gringo! |
| 2012-10-02 8:51 AM in reply to: #4435984 |
Elite 5145 Cleveland | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober Doing well Still haven't found it necessary to pick up a drink, and my mind is in a much better place than it was a couple of weeks ago. Missed my meeting last night in favor of getting in a workout... I'm not happy about that, but I'm not entirely unhappy about it, either. I have no idea what that says about me as far as where I'm at, but right now I'd rather miss a meeting than a workout.... or, that meeting in particular, at least. It's my main Home Group, and the first meeting I ever went to when I came back around, but lately I just kind of almost (not quite) dread going there. The people dynamic just isn't the same for me as it used to be and I don't really enjoy it any as much these days. Of course, what makes this all really bad is that I'm the group's treasurer - so I kinda really MUST be there. @Tyler - excellent to hear that you've stopped counting the days. That's a good sign, indeed. |
| 2012-10-02 8:59 AM in reply to: #4056558 |
Elite 3277 Minnetonka | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober Good to hear people! I'm so far away from drinking now, I can laugh at it. (Edit - I can laugh because of my twice weekly meetings and working with my sponsor).. I also signed up for my first tri of 2013! 255 days of training left...! Edited by SoberTriGuy 2012-10-02 9:00 AM |
| 2012-10-02 9:48 AM in reply to: #4436560 |
Elite 5145 Cleveland | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober SoberTriGuy - 2012-10-02 9:59 AM I also signed up for my first tri of 2013! As have I! IM 70.3 San Juan.... I can't think of a better way to spend St. Paddy's Day |
| 2012-10-02 10:34 AM in reply to: #4056558 |
Master 1699 Malvern, PA | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober I have to say I admire and respect all who have posted on this thread from the very beginning! I have been following it since Tyler's OP... I wouldn't say I have a drinking problem... I probably drink too much beer (both in frequency and volume) for a 46-year-old father of three boys... my enjoyment of frequent, voluminous, and different beers has never (other than during my twenties) directly affected my relationships, my jobs, my family or my health in any way that would force me to give it up completely. That being said, I began the WHOLE30 program 21 days ago and have had to forego alcohol altogether (I only drink beer and wine) as a requirement of the program. I MUST SAY I FEEL GREAT! I have gone on the wagon periodically over the years and every time I remember feeling that my body had become CLEAN. Amazing the effect that alcohol has on your system not only immediately while you're drinking it but also the effect it has on your cells and the effect it has on your body as long as it remains in your system. I will probably go another WHOLE30 and then after I will try and restrict my consumption to some degree...
I congratulate and look up to all of you and hope that you keep it up! |
| 2012-10-02 5:08 PM in reply to: #4056558 |
Elite 4372 Connecticut | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober I'm glad you all are doing well. Not to be the Debbie Downer but, I am not doing well at all. I've been sober for 55 days or so and they have been mostly miserable. I am more miserable now than when I was drinking. I go to 3-5 meetings a week and have a sponsor. We are starting to to some step work but to be honest everything she tells me to do I tell nope or I do it begrudgingly. I know I need to change my attitude and outlook but just am not sure how. I am starting outpatient rehab soon and hopefully that helps. In the meantime I will listen to my sponsor and keep going to meetings and calling people (even though I really don't want to do any of it). |
| 2012-10-02 5:42 PM in reply to: #4436532 |
Expert 900 | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober mdg2003 - 2012-10-02 8:48 AM Great! You got your **** wired enough to go on vacation in PlayCar? I read the other thread and immediately thought that it would be an amazingly tempting setting for a newly minted sober dude! You should be OK, just be careful. One thing you'll enjoy, is laughing at all the wasted gringos making arses out of themselves. Don't be that gringo! I'm good. Going by myself will make it that much easier. I realized a lot of why I drank so much is to fit in with all my 'friends'. I am looking forward to the trip, that's for sure. They do have meetings down there as well, looked into that. |
| 2012-10-02 5:43 PM in reply to: #4437739 |
Melon Presser 52116 | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober ebshot - 2012-10-03 6:08 AM I'm glad you all are doing well. Not to be the Debbie Downer but, I am not doing well at all. I've been sober for 55 days or so and they have been mostly miserable. I am more miserable now than when I was drinking. I go to 3-5 meetings a week and have a sponsor. We are starting to to some step work but to be honest everything she tells me to do I tell nope or I do it begrudgingly. I know I need to change my attitude and outlook but just am not sure how. I am starting outpatient rehab soon and hopefully that helps. In the meantime I will listen to my sponsor and keep going to meetings and calling people (even though I really don't want to do any of it). {{{MELON PRESS}}} You're a champ. You're doing the deal, even though you don't want to. You don't want to drink, either, so between not wanting to do any of it, sobriety probably serves you and your children better. It's been my experience that taking the action precedes the change in attitude and outlook, not the other way around. Pray for willingness. To know the next right thing, to do it, and for the strength to do it. You have so very much on your plate. It's okay to do it badly. Just do it. I still pray for you and your family every single day. So much love and peace to you. |
| 2012-10-02 5:43 PM in reply to: #4437739 |
Expert 900 | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober ebshot - 2012-10-02 5:08 PM I'm glad you all are doing well. Not to be the Debbie Downer but, I am not doing well at all. I've been sober for 55 days or so and they have been mostly miserable. I am more miserable now than when I was drinking. I go to 3-5 meetings a week and have a sponsor. We are starting to to some step work but to be honest everything she tells me to do I tell nope or I do it begrudgingly. I know I need to change my attitude and outlook but just am not sure how. I am starting outpatient rehab soon and hopefully that helps. In the meantime I will listen to my sponsor and keep going to meetings and calling people (even though I really don't want to do any of it). I honestly do not have any advice for you. I am sorry that you're going through this...I have been there as well. *hugs for you* Keep with it, keep your head up...it does get better. |
| 2012-10-02 5:52 PM in reply to: #4437739 |
Elite 6387 | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober ebshot - 2012-10-02 4:08 PM I'm glad you all are doing well. Not to be the Debbie Downer but, I am not doing well at all. I've been sober for 55 days or so and they have been mostly miserable. I am more miserable now than when I was drinking. I go to 3-5 meetings a week and have a sponsor. We are starting to to some step work but to be honest everything she tells me to do I tell nope or I do it begrudgingly. I know I need to change my attitude and outlook but just am not sure how. I am starting outpatient rehab soon and hopefully that helps. In the meantime I will listen to my sponsor and keep going to meetings and calling people (even though I really don't want to do any of it). It is simply impossible to think your way into better acting. You can only act your way into better thinking. This is an action deal, not a thinking deal. Keep taking the actions. Your brain is not on your side... it only wants to get loaded. I could go on for pages and explain it to you. I can get some pom poms and be a cheer leader for you, but none of that ever changed me... the only thing that changed things for me was taking actions... getting off the couch and going to a meeting, calling someone when I didn't want to... calling someone when I wanted to. Talking to my sponsor, seeking his direction, taking that direction and "doing" this suggested of me. Usually 9/10 times I felt better after wards and could make it through another day. After a while I looked up and wondered how I got there... then I remembered I went to a meeting on Wednesday, called someone Thursday, wrote on my stepwork Friday.... Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. The booze isn't going anywhere. Your misery will be refunded upon request. |
| 2012-10-02 10:08 PM in reply to: #4437780 |
Elite 5145 Cleveland | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober To add to what Yanti & powerman have said, I'm going to throw out an AA-ism. One of those phrases you probably will hear 1,000 times and get sick of, but they hold a ton of truth: but to be honest everything she tells me to do I tell nope or I do it begrudgingly "Surrender to Win" Stop fighting it!! You've proven over and over again that your way does not work. If it did, you wouldn't be trying to find a better way of living. Your best thinking got you to where you are.  Now, look at your sponsor. I'll bet that she's kinda got her act together a bit and has a manner about her that attracted you to asking her to sponsor you. Well, she's trying to teach you and walk you through what it takes to get there. You don't recite a magic chant and get happy.... it takes work, and it's all an inside job. The Steps she is taking you through, the things you are resisting, are the very things that will take you to where she's at. If nothing else... do what Yanti said - Pray for the Willingness to do what she is telling you to do. Nothing more, just the Willingness to do it. The rest will sort itself out |
| 2012-10-04 5:31 PM in reply to: #4438030 |
Elite 5145 Cleveland | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober Heading home and doing one of my new favorite things.... taking a circuitous 2-3 mile run to a meeting that is only a mile away, followed by a long run after the meeting. During the meeting, I'll be sitting with my sponsor and just getting my mind right. Hope y'all are having a good Today.... it's all we've got |
| 2012-10-05 11:25 AM in reply to: #4441341 |
Elite 3277 Minnetonka | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober cgregg - 2012-10-04 5:31 PM Heading home and doing one of my new favorite things.... taking a circuitous 2-3 mile run to a meeting that is only a mile away, followed by a long run after the meeting. During the meeting, I'll be sitting with my sponsor and just getting my mind right. Hope y'all are having a good Today.... it's all we've got
Awesome. I Bike to a thursday meeting, only about 4 miles away. I've often thought about running to the meeting, but I'm not quite up to 4 miles at a decent pace... Side note, when people see me bike up to an A.A. meeting, i wonder if they think I've lost my license due to drinking and driving...?? |
| 2012-10-05 11:51 AM in reply to: #4442303 |
Melon Presser 52116 | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober SoberTriGuy - 2012-10-06 12:25 AM cgregg - 2012-10-04 5:31 PM Heading home and doing one of my new favorite things.... taking a circuitous 2-3 mile run to a meeting that is only a mile away, followed by a long run after the meeting. During the meeting, I'll be sitting with my sponsor and just getting my mind right. Hope y'all are having a good Today.... it's all we've got
Awesome. I Bike to a thursday meeting, only about 4 miles away. I've often thought about running to the meeting, but I'm not quite up to 4 miles at a decent pace... Side note, when people see me bike up to an A.A. meeting, i wonder if they think I've lost my license due to drinking and driving...?? Bunch of alcoholics? Nah ... they're all just thinking about themselves |
| 2012-10-05 11:56 AM in reply to: #4442367 |
Elite 3277 Minnetonka | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober TriAya - 2012-10-05 11:51 AM SoberTriGuy - 2012-10-06 12:25 AM cgregg - 2012-10-04 5:31 PM Heading home and doing one of my new favorite things.... taking a circuitous 2-3 mile run to a meeting that is only a mile away, followed by a long run after the meeting. During the meeting, I'll be sitting with my sponsor and just getting my mind right. Hope y'all are having a good Today.... it's all we've got
Awesome. I Bike to a thursday meeting, only about 4 miles away. I've often thought about running to the meeting, but I'm not quite up to 4 miles at a decent pace... Side note, when people see me bike up to an A.A. meeting, i wonder if they think I've lost my license due to drinking and driving...?? Bunch of alcoholics? Nah ... they're all just thinking about themselves
That is so true.... And so is my thought, wondering what people thought about me.... |
| 2012-10-05 12:00 PM in reply to: #4442376 |
Elite 6387 | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober SoberTriGuy - 2012-10-05 10:56 AM TriAya - 2012-10-05 11:51 AM SoberTriGuy - 2012-10-06 12:25 AM cgregg - 2012-10-04 5:31 PM Heading home and doing one of my new favorite things.... taking a circuitous 2-3 mile run to a meeting that is only a mile away, followed by a long run after the meeting. During the meeting, I'll be sitting with my sponsor and just getting my mind right. Hope y'all are having a good Today.... it's all we've got
Awesome. I Bike to a thursday meeting, only about 4 miles away. I've often thought about running to the meeting, but I'm not quite up to 4 miles at a decent pace... Side note, when people see me bike up to an A.A. meeting, i wonder if they think I've lost my license due to drinking and driving...?? Bunch of alcoholics? Nah ... they're all just thinking about themselves
That is so true.... And so is my thought, wondering what people thought about me.... It's perfectly natural for us to think of others.....
...and how we are better or worse than them. After all, that is the important part. |
| 2012-10-05 12:23 PM in reply to: #4442393 |
Elite 5145 Cleveland | Subject: RE: Becoming Sober powerman - 2012-10-05 1:00 PM SoberTriGuy - 2012-10-05 10:56 AM TriAya - 2012-10-05 11:51 AM SoberTriGuy - 2012-10-06 12:25 AM cgregg - 2012-10-04 5:31 PM Heading home and doing one of my new favorite things.... taking a circuitous 2-3 mile run to a meeting that is only a mile away, followed by a long run after the meeting. During the meeting, I'll be sitting with my sponsor and just getting my mind right. Hope y'all are having a good Today.... it's all we've got
Awesome. I Bike to a thursday meeting, only about 4 miles away. I've often thought about running to the meeting, but I'm not quite up to 4 miles at a decent pace... Side note, when people see me bike up to an A.A. meeting, i wonder if they think I've lost my license due to drinking and driving...?? Bunch of alcoholics? Nah ... they're all just thinking about themselves
That is so true.... And so is my thought, wondering what people thought about me.... It's perfectly natural for us to think of others.....
...and how we are better or worse than them. After all, that is the important part. lol! Thank you... I was about to add "yeah, they're thinking of themselves - as they judge you to make themselves feel better", hehe |
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