Becoming Sober (Page 27)

Ain't that the truth! They say time flies but boy my first year dragged on FOREVER You've come so far and while there are always ups and downs, over time, it always, always gets better yet. Hard to believe, but it's true. It's because we get better ... from the inside out. Thank you for coming along and CONGRATULATIONS JERRY!

Wooooot! Outstanding job Jerry! Glad to see you made it. Keep up the hard work mi amigo.

Congrats to you all, you're amazing, and an inspiration to me.

As for me, I am still struggling...I'm on day 12 right now....

I don't know what I need to do...but I hope I can figure it out..

Just speaking for me... Usually, the "unmanagability" is a direct reflection of where my surrender is. It is the direct result of me trying to exert power over something I am powerless of. I "struggled" for a long time... and then one day I didn't. If you are anything like me... the fact you are still struggling means you are still willing to be here. One day you will get tired of fighting so much... and then you won't.

Merry Christmas my friend. May you have everything your H.P. wants for you. Give yourself a break.... You deserve it.

Happy B-Day Brother.

Someone at my noon meeting picked up her 22 year coin.  You all are so inspiring to a newbie like me.  Thank you!

You all are inspiring.  From those with long-term sobriety to Rushtogether who keeps coming back .

I'm headed to walk through some fire today so please send me some prayers, thoughts or whatever karma you have. I really need it.

First off congratulations to all of those that have become sober, I have witnessed a few people in my life that have been down that path and am amazed at the strength it takes.

As I write this I am feeling lousy with a hangover.  I sit here thinking why?  The money wasted, time wasted (although I was with friends, being quite drunk is not exactly what I call quality time)

I have come to think that I need to really consider stopping drinking myself.  I have made some significant life changes over the past year (weight, quitting smoking, physical activity), and feel that alcohol has no place in my life anymore. 

The problem is - Like I'm sure so many have is that I like to drink, I like getting together with friends and having a few drinks.  The bigger problem is with my addictive personality I can't just have 1 or two drinks, I've tried and it never works for me, when I drink, I drink to get drunk, and I do just that.

I have not had it directly affect my professional life, I guess I am what they call the 'weekend warrior'. At least not yet, who knows what the future would behold.

I guess my situation is different than many, I have not had the legal, financial (although I do spend quite a bit on alcohol per month, being a recent college graduate with a hefty student loan debt it would be great to redirect that money from something destructive to constructive).  Maybe I'm just lucky and realize that I have a potential problem, before it becomes a serious one?  Who knows...

I am worried about the New Years holiday coming up.  It is a big drinking holiday and am a little worried about it.

Part of me want's to start after the New Year, but I know where putting it off leads to, countless more years of the same bad habit.  I know that I just need to try now, starting today.

So I guess today is day one.  Let's hope for the best.

Long post, but thanks for reading (if you did that is )

Justin,

You've picked one of the most difficult times of the year to stop drinking. Upside is that it will make your holiday that much more special next year when you celebrate your first year of sobriety! Find an AA meeting and go. And by all means, don't go out New Year's eve because you are setting yourself up for failure. Good luck and feel free to PM me if you like.

That right there is all you hopefully feel the need to learn about yourself when it comes to drinking.

The fact that you are realizing this before you've had any significant consequences is huge.  What you do with it is all that matters.

You're Eligible, Too.   

Don't wait until you've lost the things you care about and have worked hard for before you accept what you've already come to know.  And no, your situation really isn't different from many - even those of us that lost a lot and had professional and personal issues from our drinking - we all had a time in our lives and our drinking when we hadn't had (caused) those problems in our lives.

All you ever have to stop for is Today.

I'd suggest finding and going to an AA meeting or two, a Speaker meeting, if you can find them in your area.  When you go, listen and try to identify with what they are saying, what they felt, how they acted, etc... don't try to compare yourself in the sense of "I haven't had that happen" or "oh, I'd *never* cross THAT line" because those are YET's.  Things that you still might get.  However, identifying with how they think and feel/felt during their drinking years might shed some light on yourself for you, help you to see things more clearly.  Also, in those meetings you'll meet people that will help you deal with things like doing a sober New Year's, etc...

Best Wishes for you.

Aw, sorry I missed the day--but really, it's your birthday all month, you should milk it

And of course, a big juicy {MELON PRESS}. Thank you, my friend, and congratulations.

Of course I read it

Thanks for stepping up to the plate. It takes courage. Even if it's beaten-down kind of courage. That's often the best.

I was once considering a (serious) breakup, we'd been and lived together seven years ... I told my therapist that I really should wait until after the holidays (it was just before Thanksgiving). She replied, "Oh, so you both can be miserable yet another few months?"

No time like the present ... and you only have to stay sober for the present. One day at a time. That's it. Sober head on your pillow.

You got some great thoughts from cgregg and I'll x2 them. All the best to you. Keep checking in here if you can, even if it's just to admit you're struggling.

I think I will check out an AA meeting, I'm not sure they are for me, but I will not make that final decision until I test one out.  I have never really tried to quit drinking yet, so I'm not sure how difficult it will be for me. 

As far as New Years goes I have made some plans to be by my lonesome (unfortunately, there is no way I want to be at a bar yet).  Get up early and go for a nice long run?

I like this.  It really puts what I was thinking in perspective. 

The one thing that I have going for me (except of course, the support of all of you guys!) is that I have been on the journey of a life changing event (significant weight loss).  I know that it starts with day one no matter what or how you do it. 

I just want to be able to look back on day 365 and be happy that I did it, not dreading starting day 1.

Hey Justin-

I'll add a few thought from someone who has just started this journey.  Not all alcoholics (and to be clear I am NOT calling you an alcoholic) are sleeping under a bridge and drinking from a brown paper bag.  I still had two cars, a house, custody of my children and no legal problems when I hit my rock bottom.  Of course it is a miracle that I had all of that and it wasn't going to be long until I lost some things and gained legal problems.  As some old timers in AA have told me, you don't have to keep riding the elevator down, you can get off whenever you want.  I'm so glad I got off when I did but wish I had gotten off earlier.

I'd recommend going to an AA meeting and finding a support system to call when you need someone to talk to.  Good luck and all you have to do is just not drink for today.

I think that this is exactly what was preventing me from saying that I had a problem.  I am in the similar situation.  I have a car, a good job, working on an advanced degree, live in a nice apartment.  There is that stereotype of the alcoholic, which like most stereotypes are not true.

Don't kid yourself... the reason you don't want to admit you have a problem is because then you have to do something about it.

Virgins don't walk around wondering if they are pregnant. Normal folk don't walk around wondering if they are a drunk.

Just sayin'.... welcome. Stay a while. You are among friends.

Tallyho - 2012-12-30 8:44 PM I'll third alot of what has been said.Finally drug my butt to a meeting yesterday morning and when I sat there listening to them talk,I could relate to alot of what they were saying...changing brands(kidding myself that would make me not want to drink more,I too have a good life..never spent a night in jail...etc.Went to the meeting without telling anyone and told myself I would not lie about where I went and when I came home my wife asked me where I was and I told her and her first words were...Your not an alcoholic..so many mind sets on what an alcoholic is. I'm a lover not a fighter...I'm tired of fighting this disease and wanna get back to loving myself again They were giving out chips also and had a white chip for beginners,while I didn't stand up and take one..reason being..I have started many things,but have finished very few...just don't wanna let anyone done..most of all MYSELF. Going back tonight....and I'M GETTING THAT CHIP

Welcome ... and congrats.

Tallyho - 2012-12-30 7:44 AM I'll third alot of what has been said.Finally drug my butt to a meeting yesterday morning and when I sat there listening to them talk,I could relate to alot of what they were saying...changing brands(kidding myself that would make me not want to drink more,I too have a good life..never spent a night in jail...etc.Went to the meeting without telling anyone and told myself I would not lie about where I went and when I came home my wife asked me where I was and I told her and her first words were...Your not an alcoholic..so many mind sets on what an alcoholic is. I'm a lover not a fighter...I'm tired of fighting this disease and wanna get back to loving myself again They were giving out chips also and had a white chip for beginners,while I didn't stand up and take one..reason being..I have started many things,but have finished very few...just don't wanna let anyone done..most of all MYSELF. Going back tonight....and I'M GETTING THAT CHIP

Welcome

When you go to the meeting, go a little early, have some coffee and talk with some people.  Invest yourself in it, because what you are doing is making an investment in yourself. 

Have a great day!

Tallyho - 2012-12-30 6:44 AM I'll third alot of what has been said.Finally drug my butt to a meeting yesterday morning and when I sat there listening to them talk,I could relate to alot of what they were saying...changing brands(kidding myself that would make me not want to drink more,I too have a good life..never spent a night in jail...etc.Went to the meeting without telling anyone and told myself I would not lie about where I went and when I came home my wife asked me where I was and I told her and her first words were...Your not an alcoholic..so many mind sets on what an alcoholic is. I'm a lover not a fighter...I'm tired of fighting this disease and wanna get back to loving myself again They were giving out chips also and had a white chip for beginners,while I didn't stand up and take one..reason being..I have started many things,but have finished very few...just don't wanna let anyone done..most of all MYSELF. Going back tonight....and I'M GETTING THAT CHIP

Outstanding! If we can help, just ask.