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2013-07-17 1:48 PM
in reply to: Aarondb4

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by Aarondb4
Originally posted by Left Brain
Originally posted by Aarondb4
Originally posted by Left Brain

Whatever man.....the terms you use are foreign to me...I have no idea what is taught in civilian classes.  Here's what I do know.....if I had a gun, nobody would know.

If I'm at the ready position, someone is in danger of being shot.  You can point a gun at the ground all you want.  If I get to the point where it's in my hand....don't do anything stupid.

If you stand by your origional statements of ordering her to sit here or there or whatever while you have a pistol at whatever ready position you are talking about....then no, I think that's ridiculous.  Then again.....you can come through my front door with a tractor and find me without a gun because I don't have any I can get to. Laughing

Haha you can't seriously have a problem with me having her open the door and saying come in, stay right here, as I evaluate the situation, and go to check behind her and see who or what is coming in after or behind her. As soon as I verify everyone is safe the door gets shut, locked and she gets tended to while I guard and wait for the cops.

I didn't know they taught you to just run headlong into any situation without caution or evaluation in those "non-civilian" classes.

Oh, and a bullpup is not a pistol, but you knew that. :P

Keep training!!  The war may yet come to your doorstep!  Laughing 

And no, I have no idea what a bullpup is....a fishing lure?

Haha, far more scary and assaulty than that. 

I don't know...some fishing lures are SCARY.  I got a three-pronged one lodged in my knee once (long story).  I'm kinda sacred of those.



2013-07-17 1:54 PM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: What would you do?

You would answer your door with THIS???  LMAOOOOOO  Seriously?  I can't even imagine that.  Do you just pull it out from under the couch or something? Laughing

Dude....you can catch alot of fish with that sucker.





(bullpup.jpg)



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2013-07-17 1:57 PM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by Left Brain

You would answer your door with THIS???  LMAOOOOOO  Seriously?  I can't even imagine that.  Do you just pull it out from under the couch or something? Laughing

Dude....you can catch alot of fish with that sucker.




this thread is almost turning into an argument for gun control....
2013-07-17 2:36 PM
in reply to: Aarondb4

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by Aarondb4
Originally posted by Left Brain

I don't have a  problem with the presence of a gun....who cares?  Aaron....you have backed off quite a bit from the idea of opening the door with a gun at the ready position (which by the way in our training is only slightly off target) and ordering a naked screaming woman where to go while you called the Police. 

Like I said, I'm not second guessing anything that actually happens.....but the "here's what I would do" scenarios get kind of goofy.

Here's my take.....if someone is screaming for help....I run toward them to help them.  I suppose one day I could run right into some kind of trap if the sun and moon and stars all lined up on Pluto.  Until then, I'm not living my life like someone who is crying for help really wants to hurt me. 

I haven't changed anything that I said. I even posted the "indoor ready" position I was referring to. 

ETA:

Like I said I agree, what if threads can get goofy. But my take is I don't usually throw the door open when I don't know who is out there. The 10 seconds it would take to prepare myself to protect my family and to potentially protect the victim if this guy was right on her heels is worth it IMO. But as we said, this is all just armchair quarterbacking as the likelihood of this ever happening to any of us is less than me winning Kona. 

Holy crap... I thought you were joking when you said how you would answer the door... but it seems you are not. Wow.

2013-07-17 2:44 PM
in reply to: powerman

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Subject: RE: What would you do?

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

2013-07-17 2:46 PM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

Haha Tony is busy polishing his scary assault shotgun in case someone comes to his door and tries to sell him some Yummy Meats. 



2013-07-17 2:48 PM
in reply to: Aarondb4

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by Aarondb4
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

Haha Tony is busy polishing his scary assault shotgun in case someone comes to his door and tries to sell him some Yummy Meats. 

Hold the phone...

Tony doesn't like Yummy Meat?

2013-07-17 2:54 PM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Aarondb4
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

Haha Tony is busy polishing his scary assault shotgun in case someone comes to his door and tries to sell him some Yummy Meats. 

Hold the phone...

Tony doesn't like Yummy Meat?

No, he just doesn't like the way they threaten you with a good deal. 

2013-07-17 2:58 PM
in reply to: Aarondb4

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by Aarondb4
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Aarondb4
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

Haha Tony is busy polishing his scary assault shotgun in case someone comes to his door and tries to sell him some Yummy Meats. 

Hold the phone...

Tony doesn't like Yummy Meat?

No, he just doesn't like the way they threaten you with a good deal. 

Threaten him with a good deal on Yummy Meat?

Damn it, Aaron, I'm gonna walk away from this one, but you're making it awfully difficult...

2013-07-17 4:18 PM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Aarondb4
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Aarondb4
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

Haha Tony is busy polishing his scary assault shotgun in case someone comes to his door and tries to sell him some Yummy Meats. 

Hold the phone...

Tony doesn't like Yummy Meat?

No, he just doesn't like the way they threaten you with a good deal. 

Threaten him with a good deal on Yummy Meat?

Damn it, Aaron, I'm gonna walk away from this one, but you're making it awfully difficult...

Haha looky there, I opened a door for you and wasn't even holding a gun!

2013-07-17 7:17 PM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

lol, you guys are making me laugh.  Sorry, I had a big proposal due this morning so I actually had to do work.  Then in meetings all afternoon. 

OK, so as LB mentioned Sex Addict probably isn't the best term to describe this guy.  I was actually using it as a somewhat polite description of him versus saying what I really thought he was.

Now for the question of how do I define a Sex Addict?
It is a very broad term used to describe many things.  As was mentioned earlier by someone it's not recognized as a mental illness yet.  However, there's no question that it is a real problem.

I typically describe sex addiction as a sexual behavior that is damaging to the individual or someone else (often their family).  This is usually where I'm working with guys.  Their behavior has gotten to the point where it's destroying their life and their family.

As was mentioned, a lot of "Sex Addict" type behavior is pretty much "normal" behavior for 95% of men in the world because men are sexually attracted to women.   However, this natural desire gets short circuited in many people in all sorts of weird ways that I could spend all day describing.  When these deviations become compulsive and addictive in nature is when they start turning into addictive behavior.

For example, if a guy is looking at girlie magazines and decides he wants to um (how can I say this) "polish the flagpole".  There's nothing wrong with that, and every guy in this thread has done that.  However, if a guy does this 6 times a day every day and cannot function unless he's doing it this much.  OK, now this exact same behavior that is normal and healthy has become addictive and harmful.  I guess you could say it's analogous to an alcoholic.  If I drink one beer a week it's no big deal, but if I drink 6 beers a day and can't stop I might have some issues.

I could probably write 10 pages on this topic, but I guess I'll leave it at that.  I've worked with upwards of 100 men who have struggled with sexual addictions and the vast majority of them were in situations where their behavior was destroying their lives.  Official disease or not, it's very real.



2013-07-17 7:21 PM
in reply to: Aarondb4

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by Aarondb4
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

Haha Tony is busy polishing his scary assault shotgun in case someone comes to his door and tries to sell him some Yummy Meats. 

Speaking of which, I do need to go clean my shotgun.  It's still dirty from the last time I shot it. ;-)

2013-07-17 7:33 PM
in reply to: tuwood

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

lol, you guys are making me laugh.  Sorry, I had a big proposal due this morning so I actually had to do work.  Then in meetings all afternoon.  :)

OK, so as LB mentioned Sex Addict probably isn't the best term to describe this guy.  I was actually using it as a somewhat polite description of him versus saying what I really thought he was.

Now for the question of how do I define a Sex Addict?
It is a very broad term used to describe many things.  As was mentioned earlier by someone it's not recognized as a mental illness yet.  However, there's no question that it is a real problem.

I typically describe sex addiction as a sexual behavior that is damaging to the individual or someone else (often their family).  This is usually where I'm working with guys.  Their behavior has gotten to the point where it's destroying their life and their family.

As was mentioned, a lot of "Sex Addict" type behavior is pretty much "normal" behavior for 95% of men in the world because men are sexually attracted to women.   However, this natural desire gets short circuited in many people in all sorts of weird ways that I could spend all day describing.  When these deviations become compulsive and addictive in nature is when they start turning into addictive behavior.

For example, if a guy is looking at girlie magazines and decides he wants to um (how can I say this) "polish the flagpole".  There's nothing wrong with that, and every guy in this thread has done that.  However, if a guy does this 6 times a day every day and cannot function unless he's doing it this much.  OK, now this exact same behavior that is normal and healthy has become addictive and harmful.  I guess you could say it's analogous to an alcoholic.  If I drink one beer a week it's no big deal, but if I drink 6 beers a day and can't stop I might have some issues.

I could probably write 10 pages on this topic, but I guess I'll leave it at that.  I've worked with upwards of 100 men who have struggled with sexual addictions and the vast majority of them were in situations where their behavior was destroying their lives.  Official disease or not, it's very real.

Thanks Tony :) Do the guys you work with seem to have addictive personalities in general? Do they also struggle with substance abuse? How do you treat/manage it?
2013-07-17 7:53 PM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

lol, you guys are making me laugh.  Sorry, I had a big proposal due this morning so I actually had to do work.  Then in meetings all afternoon. 

OK, so as LB mentioned Sex Addict probably isn't the best term to describe this guy.  I was actually using it as a somewhat polite description of him versus saying what I really thought he was.

Now for the question of how do I define a Sex Addict?
It is a very broad term used to describe many things.  As was mentioned earlier by someone it's not recognized as a mental illness yet.  However, there's no question that it is a real problem.

I typically describe sex addiction as a sexual behavior that is damaging to the individual or someone else (often their family).  This is usually where I'm working with guys.  Their behavior has gotten to the point where it's destroying their life and their family.

As was mentioned, a lot of "Sex Addict" type behavior is pretty much "normal" behavior for 95% of men in the world because men are sexually attracted to women.   However, this natural desire gets short circuited in many people in all sorts of weird ways that I could spend all day describing.  When these deviations become compulsive and addictive in nature is when they start turning into addictive behavior.

For example, if a guy is looking at girlie magazines and decides he wants to um (how can I say this) "polish the flagpole".  There's nothing wrong with that, and every guy in this thread has done that.  However, if a guy does this 6 times a day every day and cannot function unless he's doing it this much.  OK, now this exact same behavior that is normal and healthy has become addictive and harmful.  I guess you could say it's analogous to an alcoholic.  If I drink one beer a week it's no big deal, but if I drink 6 beers a day and can't stop I might have some issues.

I could probably write 10 pages on this topic, but I guess I'll leave it at that.  I've worked with upwards of 100 men who have struggled with sexual addictions and the vast majority of them were in situations where their behavior was destroying their lives.  Official disease or not, it's very real.

Thanks Tony Do the guys you work with seem to have addictive personalities in general? Do they also struggle with substance abuse? How do you treat/manage it?

I'm not sure if it's most, but I would say that many do have addictive personalities and often struggle with more than one addiction.
As for treatment/management it's a long term engagement that first off requires somebody who recognizes they have an issue.  The proverbial first step.   At a high level I first give them hope, that they can get past it.  Then, based on their behavior I try to give them as many tools as I can to set up solid boundaries with their behavior that lead up to the bad stuff.  Then from there it's a long process of identifying where the behaviors started and changing the thinking errors that have been programed in for decades.  Also accountability is important, so they know there is somebody they can talk to.

Now, back to the dude in the story.  He is a sociopath and I would never engage somebody like that.  As LB mentioned, what he did is not sex addiction.  He may be a sex addict that is a sociopath, but that's way out of my league (and likely everyone elses)

2013-07-17 8:03 PM
in reply to: tuwood

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Thanks for your answers Tony. I bet there are a few people on this board who will find your info very helpful. It's good work you do. Thanks, man.
2013-07-17 8:10 PM
in reply to: tuwood

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

lol, you guys are making me laugh.  Sorry, I had a big proposal due this morning so I actually had to do work.  Then in meetings all afternoon. 

OK, so as LB mentioned Sex Addict probably isn't the best term to describe this guy.  I was actually using it as a somewhat polite description of him versus saying what I really thought he was.

Now for the question of how do I define a Sex Addict?
It is a very broad term used to describe many things.  As was mentioned earlier by someone it's not recognized as a mental illness yet.  However, there's no question that it is a real problem.

I typically describe sex addiction as a sexual behavior that is damaging to the individual or someone else (often their family).  This is usually where I'm working with guys.  Their behavior has gotten to the point where it's destroying their life and their family.

As was mentioned, a lot of "Sex Addict" type behavior is pretty much "normal" behavior for 95% of men in the world because men are sexually attracted to women.   However, this natural desire gets short circuited in many people in all sorts of weird ways that I could spend all day describing.  When these deviations become compulsive and addictive in nature is when they start turning into addictive behavior.

For example, if a guy is looking at girlie magazines and decides he wants to um (how can I say this) "polish the flagpole".  There's nothing wrong with that, and every guy in this thread has done that.  However, if a guy does this 6 times a day every day and cannot function unless he's doing it this much.  OK, now this exact same behavior that is normal and healthy has become addictive and harmful.  I guess you could say it's analogous to an alcoholic.  If I drink one beer a week it's no big deal, but if I drink 6 beers a day and can't stop I might have some issues.

I could probably write 10 pages on this topic, but I guess I'll leave it at that.  I've worked with upwards of 100 men who have struggled with sexual addictions and the vast majority of them were in situations where their behavior was destroying their lives.  Official disease or not, it's very real.

Have not.



2013-07-17 9:02 PM
in reply to: powerman

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by powerman
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by switch

All this gun talk has scared Tony away from the thread--you know how he hates guns--and I'm still waiting for an answer to my sex addicts question.

Tony, Aaron will put his bullpup away, will you come answer my harmless, not scary, non-threatening, little question?

I mean I was pointing it at you, in the ready position, but I won't hurt you--promise.

lol, you guys are making me laugh.  Sorry, I had a big proposal due this morning so I actually had to do work.  Then in meetings all afternoon. 

OK, so as LB mentioned Sex Addict probably isn't the best term to describe this guy.  I was actually using it as a somewhat polite description of him versus saying what I really thought he was.

Now for the question of how do I define a Sex Addict?
It is a very broad term used to describe many things.  As was mentioned earlier by someone it's not recognized as a mental illness yet.  However, there's no question that it is a real problem.

I typically describe sex addiction as a sexual behavior that is damaging to the individual or someone else (often their family).  This is usually where I'm working with guys.  Their behavior has gotten to the point where it's destroying their life and their family.

As was mentioned, a lot of "Sex Addict" type behavior is pretty much "normal" behavior for 95% of men in the world because men are sexually attracted to women.   However, this natural desire gets short circuited in many people in all sorts of weird ways that I could spend all day describing.  When these deviations become compulsive and addictive in nature is when they start turning into addictive behavior.

For example, if a guy is looking at girlie magazines and decides he wants to um (how can I say this) "polish the flagpole".  There's nothing wrong with that, and every guy in this thread has done that.  However, if a guy does this 6 times a day every day and cannot function unless he's doing it this much.  OK, now this exact same behavior that is normal and healthy has become addictive and harmful.  I guess you could say it's analogous to an alcoholic.  If I drink one beer a week it's no big deal, but if I drink 6 beers a day and can't stop I might have some issues.

I could probably write 10 pages on this topic, but I guess I'll leave it at that.  I've worked with upwards of 100 men who have struggled with sexual addictions and the vast majority of them were in situations where their behavior was destroying their lives.  Official disease or not, it's very real.

Have not.

Oh, I forgot to mention. One of the symptoms of sex addiction is lying. :-P (can't sarc font on my phone)
2013-07-17 11:03 PM
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Subject: RE: What would you do?

I don't know when or where it'll happen.......but I can't wait for the day when I get to yell......"LOOK OUT!!!  HE'S GOT A BULLPUP AND HE'S POLISHING HIS FLAGPOLE!!!"  Laughing



Edited by Left Brain 2013-07-17 11:04 PM
2013-07-17 11:30 PM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by Left Brain

I don't know when or where it'll happen.......but I can't wait for the day when I get to yell......"LOOK OUT!!!  HE'S GOT A BULLPUP AND HE'S POLISHING HIS FLAGPOLE!!!"  Laughing

Why I just did that the other day. Ya, ya, that's it. Busted right in on the guy....

2013-07-18 6:50 AM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by Left Brain

I don't know when or where it'll happen.......but I can't wait for the day when I get to yell......"LOOK OUT!!!  HE'S GOT A BULLPUP AND HE'S POLISHING HIS FLAGPOLE!!!"  Laughing

Right?

I have to admit,  Tony, of all the euphemisms you could have picked, this one really makes me giggle.

Tony, um, can you say masturbate? 

2013-07-18 7:56 AM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Left Brain

I don't know when or where it'll happen.......but I can't wait for the day when I get to yell......"LOOK OUT!!!  HE'S GOT A BULLPUP AND HE'S POLISHING HIS FLAGPOLE!!!"  Laughing

Right?

I have to admit,  Tony, of all the euphemisms you could have picked, this one really makes me giggle.

Tony, um, can you say masturbate? 

lol, I can.  However, you have to be aware of the male psyche.  When you say that word, every man within a 50 yard radius looks at the floor and immediately changes the subject. 



2013-07-18 8:24 AM
in reply to: tuwood

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Left Brain

I don't know when or where it'll happen.......but I can't wait for the day when I get to yell......"LOOK OUT!!!  HE'S GOT A BULLPUP AND HE'S POLISHING HIS FLAGPOLE!!!"  Laughing

Right?

I have to admit,  Tony, of all the euphemisms you could have picked, this one really makes me giggle.

Tony, um, can you say masturbate? 

lol, I can.  However, you have to be aware of the male psyche.  When you say that word, every man within a 50 yard radius looks at the floor and immediately changes the subject.  :)

Really? Not just the Catholics? ;)
2013-07-18 8:36 AM
in reply to: switch

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Left Brain

I don't know when or where it'll happen.......but I can't wait for the day when I get to yell......"LOOK OUT!!!  HE'S GOT A BULLPUP AND HE'S POLISHING HIS FLAGPOLE!!!"  Laughing

Right?

I have to admit,  Tony, of all the euphemisms you could have picked, this one really makes me giggle.

Tony, um, can you say masturbate? 

lol, I can.  However, you have to be aware of the male psyche.  When you say that word, every man within a 50 yard radius looks at the floor and immediately changes the subject. 

Really? Not just the Catholics?

Nope, ironically enough religious folks tend to be more open and willing to talk about it than non religious types in my experience.

2013-07-18 8:55 AM
in reply to: tuwood

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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Left Brain

I don't know when or where it'll happen.......but I can't wait for the day when I get to yell......"LOOK OUT!!!  HE'S GOT A BULLPUP AND HE'S POLISHING HIS FLAGPOLE!!!"  Laughing

Right?

I have to admit,  Tony, of all the euphemisms you could have picked, this one really makes me giggle.

Tony, um, can you say masturbate? 

lol, I can.  However, you have to be aware of the male psyche.  When you say that word, every man within a 50 yard radius looks at the floor and immediately changes the subject. 

Really? Not just the Catholics?

Nope, ironically enough religious folks tend to be more open and willing to talk about it than non religious types in my experience.

That's surprising. Maybe it shouldn't be. I went to an Episcopal boarding school. The guys had a running contest to see who could (oh, which one should I use) rub one out in the most outrageous place at the most outrageous time. I believe the term they used was "owning". A few guys even owned the chapel during the service.
2013-07-18 8:56 AM
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Subject: RE: What would you do?
Originally posted by tuwood
Originally posted by switch
Originally posted by Left Brain

I don't know when or where it'll happen.......but I can't wait for the day when I get to yell......"LOOK OUT!!!  HE'S GOT A BULLPUP AND HE'S POLISHING HIS FLAGPOLE!!!"  Laughing

Right?

I have to admit,  Tony, of all the euphemisms you could have picked, this one really makes me giggle.

Tony, um, can you say masturbate? 

lol, I can.  However, you have to be aware of the male psyche.  When you say that word, every man within a 50 yard radius looks at the floor and immediately changes the subject. 

Why do you hate love?

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