TAN 75: Yanti wouldn't start me. (Page 52)

TriAya - 2009-05-17 10:46 PM

Tough, but you were tougher!

Well done, Badger Jen.

TriAya - 2009-05-17 11:00 PM
But how can my Conundrum have you Flummoxed if I have not even Divulged it yet? Oh, perhaps it is just THAT much of a Conundrum. Yes.

TriAya - 2009-05-17 8:11 PM So this Conundrum ... it's awfully Something for TAN, but ... well, it's my life right now.

I'm moving back to Indonesia to be with my folks so I can take care of their affairs and be there when they pass, or as my mother declines. No Conundrum.

My father is financing the move. Grateful. However, once I promised to come back and committed myself to it, I got my father's List of Demands ... it's way too much for one competent (probably even two competent) people to manage, but if it makes my dad happy to utterly run and control my life in the little time he has left, I'm okay with it. It's not for long.

But he utterly insists that I rescind my U.S. citizenship and become an Indonesian citizen. And he's a stubborn bastage and will do everything he can to make sure this happens, including keeping me in Indonesia by force if necessary, and will probably not die until it happens.

I didn't sign up for that.

So the Conundrum ... go and fight that battle when I get there (knowing it may be very difficult to come back), try more negotiations (failed thus far--in fact he was incensed I even tried), or say eff you, go ahead and die miserable and alone and try to mop up my life here?

Chaderbox - 2009-05-17 8:15 PM Oooh, that IS a difficult issue.  Why is it so important to him that you go back to having Indo citizinship?  Would it be possible to have dual citizinship, or would that not placate him?

If I were having your situation, I would tell my family to bugger off.  But then again, I'm a jerk, and you're much too wonderful to be as mean as me.

grdavison - 2009-05-17 8:14 PM

I'm going to go with mop up life here and be happy

TriAya - 2009-05-17 8:23 PM
That's what I really want. I just don't have the heart to get cast out of the family ... I know that's my father's decision, not mine ... and I so badly still want to see and spend some time with my mother while she still recognizes me sometimes.

grdavison - 2009-05-17 8:29 PM

you have to do what's best for you .. if that means you go.. then go.. if its stay .. i know we would all be happy :D

TriAya - 2009-05-17 11:20 PM

It's a symbolic gesture. My dad fought in the Indonesian revolution (for it to become a country), has been a lifelong politician, and we're royal family. Dual citizenship is not an option.

I've been telling my dad to bugger off for 15 years. I'm caving in now because he's dying ... he's just such a controlling and all-or-none, my-way-or-the-highway person.

TriAya - 2009-05-17 8:36 PM

I think it's best for me to go and still remain a U.S. citizen! Everything else I can deal with. It may just be a matter of trying to string my dad along until he dies ... except he's smarter than that ... he'll probably demand my passport the moment I touch down. In fact, since I rarely go through customs (that is, I get escorted through) ... whoever the escorting official is may just keep my passport.

If it comes down to that, I'm just gonna damn well snatch my passport back and head on the next plane back.

And if my dad REALLY grinds his foot in on the issue (which he will), I'll still keep a copy of my passport, birth cert, and SSN card on hand and find a way to get out of the country.

At least I will have TRIED to do the right thing, and maybe gotten some time with my family. Maybe not good time, but some time.

Artemis - 2009-05-17 8:37 PM

Are you intending to come back to the US?  If you are, and you rescind US citizenship, won't that make things really hard for you? 

TriAya - 2009-05-17 11:41 PM

I want to leave it open. And I want my (future possible) children to have the option of being U.S. citizens, just like my parents gave me that option.

Rescinding U.S. citizenship is a very serious irreversible process. My sister did it, but she still has a loophole because she has an American husband.

Yes, it would make things nearly impossible to get back.

grdavison - 2009-05-17 11:44 PM I just wanna know who the local BT atty is? just in cast :D

Artemis - 2009-05-17 8:48 PM I'm heading to bed.  Goodnight!

Chaderbox - 2009-05-17 9:24 PM No matter what you decide to do Yanti, we're all behind you. (Mostly to enjoy the view)
I really don't envy you having this conundrum. *hugs*