Help me help my wife lose weight (Page 2)

My personal take... you just have to KNOW what you eat.  I use "Lose It" (an iPhone app that tracks calories and exercise).  Without it I'd grab a handful of nuts or pretzels without thinking twice.  When you log everything you begin to see all of those extra calories through out the day.

After a while I find I can stop logging each and every thing every day as you become accustomed to how much you can and cannot eat.

I also find it helps to log exercise in the program as it makes you feel a bit less guilty when you burn those 800-1000 calories the day after you had that 500 calorie piece of pizza.

Bottom line:  You have to change how you approch food.  It's fuel.  Nothing more or less.  Some is very energy dense and some is very energy sparse.  You have to pick the right ones and stick to your plan.

Edited by TriRSquared 2010-05-19 4:04 PM

I haven't read this book, but totally understand the mental aspect. When I was losing weight, some foods just became 'notfood'.  Our division head gave each person in my workgroup a candy bar as a prize last sping. I have had it pinned to my cube wall ever since. Amazes some people, but for me it is notfood. After that year, I just don't see it as something that I eat.  During that time I also got real picky on whether various calories were "worth it" There is a whole lotta cake out there not worth my treadmill time.  Takes a bit to get to that state of mind, but it is helpful.

30 lb. is not a huge amount in terms of "how overweight" she is. If you're the one losing it, though, it might as well be 100 'cause it sure as heck feels that way. 

Random thoughts:

McFuzz has an excellent point about whether the problem is too much food, unhealthy food, or both. Have a look at that. 

It works for other people to cut things out entirely, but I'm a happier person cutting down instead of cutting out. I have a little bit of junk most days. The key is to keep it down to a little bit. Hard candy is great for riding out cravings. 

Two things that helped me a lot: getting in the habit of chewing food until it's liquid, and putting down the fork or spoon between bites. 

What about cooking as a family? You could make something healthy-ish, and whatever it is, your kids will probably want to eat it just because kids feel so much ownership over things they "made themselves." Your kids are young, but you could probably have them stir things in a bowl or shake up cornflake chicken in a bag or heck, even just pour things into a pan when you tell them to. I know you guys work late -- try doing it on a weekend. 

For me, label shock works wonders. Actually read labels (or check restaurant websites) and figure out the calories, salt, and sugar. More than once I've shocked myself into eating less after finding out that I ate 1400 calories and 160% RDA of sodium in one sitting last time. 

One strategy a lot people use for going out to eat, besides consciously choosing healthier restaurants/healthier menu items, is: when the food is served, immediately divide the meal in half. Eat one half, get the other half boxed.

Last but not least, chips and salsa aren't necessarily bad for you -- salsa IS all veggies -- but a lot of bottled/jarred kinds do add a lot of salt.

Our strategy thus far when going to restaurants has been to look at the people eating at that restaurant and if we want to look like them, then eat there, if not, then don't eat there.  This has cut out A LOT of restaurants for us and some that we really like.  I think I like your idea better of just putting half of it in a to-go box up front.   My wife and I will split a dish, but for whatever reason it has NEVER occurred to me to put half of it away before even starting.  It seems more reasonable.

And then you don't have to cook the next night either.

It's great she wants to lose weight and you want to help her.

As someone who was obese and lost nearly 100 pounds I've learned a lot about me and what works for me. I have over time developed the Kathy way of eating. She needs to experiment and do what works for her.

One key point is to know this is a lifetime plan not a temporary fix. Once I accepted I needed to change my eating habits for life it got easier. Early on I became very strict and didn't cheat from what my plan was. But that is what works for me. Having food be black or white made it no mental struggle in time. Imagine if you always had a mental battle if you were going to eat xxx or not when you saw something you craved. Once I had my mind programmed well I wouldn't even be tempted. Some say you need to eat gray but for me it was much easier to stick with it being black and white. She will need to find that out for herself. I would if I had something off my plan would lead to more and more. I even bring food when we go out to eat..my own salad dressing, and other stuff. I pick places to eat based on their nutrition content on line so I can select before I go what I'm going to have and how I might ask for them to change things up.

I like challenges and excel at being super strict when in one. Maybe she'd like to join one or you could create one for her....she does xxx and she gets yyyy.  Examples...tracks her calories for 4 weeks or sticks with a food plan for 4 weeks she gets a day to her self at the spa., you get the idea. I wouldn't link it to weight loss but behavior change.

For me processed foods and grains type carbohydrates are not good for me to eat. I eat lean meats, fruit and veggies most of the time.  Most of what I eat doesn't have bar codes on them.

There are tons of books that are helpful. Depends what her issue is really what might be best and it may take some time to figure out what her issue or issues may be.

Is it just food choice? is eating a way of coping with stress? Is it time management for healthy food choice with two young children.

If you are serious about helping her go out to eat less or pick healthier places to go. Have pizza with your kids when your wife isn't around. Certain foods are triggers for folks, do you best to help her avoid them and it's even more important when she starts.

For me it's a process and I never give up even if I have a bad day or week or month. I was obese and bad example for my kids for years, but now things are different. My kids think about nutrition, they eat healthier, and I think they learn best by example and I'm pleased that I'm a positive influence on them compared to the past.

Good luck to her!

x2
This is what I was thinking.  But even if you can't cook, you can pick up decent pre-made food. The whole roasted chickens you can pick up at most grocery stores is pretty good.  Grab a couple vegetables to go with it and you've got a meal.
Weight Watchers is a good option for prepared meals if you want to spend that money.



You really don't have to over analize it.  Just stay within the rough recomendation (I think 1500-2000 / day).  It's when you go way over (or way under) that there's an issue.  It sounds like she does both.

Another recomendation is portion control.  Be concious of how much food you put on the plate. People will generally eat what's put in front of them.  If you put smaller portions on the plate, she'll eat less.
You can also control the desire for seconds by intentionally waiting 10-15 minutes before taking seconds. I think I read somewhere that it can take 20 minutes for your blood sugar to adjust after eating. If you wait a bit before taking seconds, by the time you do you might not be hungry any more.

Hope this helps, and good luck.