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2006-05-08 8:05 AM

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COURT JESTER
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ROCKFORD, IL
Subject: Monday Funnies




(family bumper sticker.jpg)



(ghettospongebob.jpg)



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2006-05-08 8:07 AM
in reply to: #417357

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COURT JESTER
12230
50005000200010010025
ROCKFORD, IL
Subject: RE: Monday Funnies
True Story. Jacksonville, FL Police Dept.

A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just a block away. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.

A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. Jones is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage. She opens the door. There sitting in the garage is the police car, with all its
lights still flashing.

True story, told by the driver at his first AA meeting.
2006-05-09 1:39 AM
in reply to: #417357

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Subject: RE: Monday Funnies
A thief in Paris wanted to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After carefully planning the crime, he got past security, stole three masterpieces and made it safely to his van.

He was captured, however, only two blocks away when his van ran out of petrol.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "Monsieur, I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(And you thought and hoped I lacked de Gaulle to tell you a story like this)
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