I seated myself so that not many people were directly behind me and I was by the boat ramp and about 1/3 of the way from the start and when the gun went off I was actually fine for a very long time swimming before I ran into anyone. Watching the terrace move by on the first leg of the swim was amazing and I really moved very quickly. I looked at my watch at the first time and saw around 18 minutes. The turn was congested but I fought through it and headed out onto the backside. Started to feel a little drained and certainly constricted by the wetsuit and the temperature of the water. Made it to turn 3 and 4 and was very envious of those started to the swim exit. The front part of the second loop felt like forever and the buoys were not in line so I started to swim on the inside of those. I would swim breathstroke for a bit and then push for awhile with crawl. I finally made it to the turn and wasn't sure how the backside would go because I was started to feel fatigued. Just kept pushing over and over on the backside knowing I would be out as soon as possible. Some people were pushing around hard out on the backside and I swallowed icky lake water several times. The chop was also starting to pick up and that was making it harder. Finally made the last turn and kept pushing for the arch to get out.... wasn't able to put my feet down till about 10 feet from the water's edge but the crowd was loud and it made me excited... I was through the first part of the course.

Honestly, I didn't spend enough time in the open water and not enough time in the pool this past summer. I started hating the water but now I know I have got to find a way around that and be in there for longer sessions. I got out of the water fatigued and my stomach was not doing well. I was also really thirsty telling me I should have had more to drink before I even started.

Got out of the water, found two not busy wetsuit strippers, laid down and we had major trouble getting the suit off around my hips... finally got it off, they helped me up and I started the walk up the helix... saw my parents which was wonderful and kept going.... when I got to the top, I started to jog a bit and got my bag and into the change tent. Had a chair and a volunteer all to myself and she helped me get ready and read me the stuff on my inspiration bracelet... she was great... thank you... then left my stuff and started out the door to my bike... didn't run but kind of brisky moved... had the suntan lotion people do me up a bit and got my bike handed to me by my bestest friend Angie... walked to the mount line and got on the bike... time to go.

Not much... the transition was good... maybe grab some gatorade at that point... I was happy with it even though 12 minutes is long!

I don't know where to start... I never thought it would end this way. I started off going down the helix, having trouble clipping in but I did finally. Fed off the spectators and knew my friend Paul would be uphead to take my picture, smiled when I went past him and just started to settle in for a long bike ride. I knew I needed to remain controlled and keep it steady, but the problems started early, no gatorade on my bike. My stomach was a bit upset from the lake water and I was thirsty so I started downing water as I pushed out to Verona. Hit the first good hill and spun up it... the spectators were just pulling me along, but I knew I just didn't feel right or good... I was way too tired this early on. Continued to push... saw a guy get a yellow card for passing over the center line and just kept going. I didn't know how far the aid station was but kept going trying to spin up the hills and push down them. I was getting passed but I kept up in spirits. The hill I walked up (the other way when I was training) came and I saw balloons and my parents sign and figured my friend Angie put it out there... finally got to the aid station, grabbed two bottles of water, a bottle of gatorade and a banana and started eating at it... finally made it to Verona and pushed through the city to the first big hill. I spun the best I could.... felt good for the first few hills and just kept pushing. Said hi and thank you to everyone I could. I played leap frog with a bunch of others for a long time... got off my bike at Mt Horeb and again and Cross Plains... I was started to feel really tired and I knew that the famous three were coming up... made it up the first barely, made it up the second because of Angie and the crazy fans. My parents were at the bottom and it was good to see them though they knew things were bad already... started to climb the third and barely up it I fell over and had to walk up the rest of it... it was so hard mentally to walk the hill. Got back on and kept going. Made it to the crazy plaza in Verona and the whole rest of my fan group was there going nuts. Got to the division between going home and a second loop and just wanted to cry... I knew I had 4 hours left before the cutoff and it was going to be an hour a segment. Started to push, and was having trouble getting my legs to respond... was having problems pushing fast even on the flats... could only average around 10-12 which just wouldn't cut it. Made it within about 2 miles of Mt. Horeb and had to get off my bike... Road assistance pulled up next to me and I was crying... I knew my day was going well. I put some ice on my neck and they talked to me for a bit. Decided to bike into Mt. Horeb to the aid station and go from there. Had to walk the hill and made it to the top... I knew no matter how much I wanted to deny it... my day was over... it took me over 1 hour and 15 minutes to make Mt. Horeb... way too long with what was left to go and I knew if I didn't stop now I could really hurt myself and I would get pulled off at the T2... which would be that much worse. I made the hardest decision yet and dropped out... I had yet to go to the bathroom many hours and bottles of liquid later... I knew I wasn't seriously sick but I knew that what was to come... well I would never make it.

1. Put gatorade on my bike for early on
2. Train more hills
3. Train more distance
4. Train more swim to bike bricks
5. Train more hills
6. Train and figure out fool proof nutrition

A lot of little things went wrong... and they added up big :(

I rode along with 10 others from Mt. Horeb back to the finish line. The van was quiet and I cried most of the way back. I had given up after a whole year of training and out there were my parents and friends still waiting for me. I didn't get access to a phone until we got back to the finish and they took my chip from me and my day was done. I called and left a message for my family and heard the second male come across the finish line. My phone and room key were in the room and I went up to the desk and they were so nice and gave me another... I went up to the room... called my parents, told them I was okay, and took a shower were my tears just mixed with the water. My parents finally came back and the tears just kept coming... I finally was able to fall asleep for a nap as my family called and let everyone else know what had happened. No one was disappointed with me but I was with myself. After my nap I walked to the bag area and got my transition bags, ran into my friend Paul who let me cry on his shoulder and talked about what happened. Many hugs later, I went to go get my run special needs bag because I really wanted my red jacket in it... ran into Angie my good friend and cried on her shoulder. Then went up to the room and watched the Packer game and drown my sorrows in a pizza with my parents. We left early the next day... I woke up feeling empty, like I had left a piece of me out there. I really wanted to sign up for 2010 but with starting nursing school decided 2011 was a better option to mentally heal and get myself back together. This is the first time I have been able to look back and not lose it. My mom described it perfectly when she said it was like Christmas morning but Santa forgot all about me and came to see everyone else. I know I will get over this and be strong because of it. This was truly a learning experience and will make me stronger... but right now it still hurts.


A lot of things... I need to better train... I need to have someone to keep me in line... I maybe need a coach... but I won't let my fitness level drop right now... I will be back to take revenge on the bike.


I think back onto this experience and now greatly admire those who can finish an Ironman... I knew it wasn't going to be easy... no one ever said Ironman was easy... but wow, this has certainly changed me for the rest of my life. I really need to finish this race. I will use next year to get stronger and then I will come back and make my peace in 2011. Thank you everyone for soooo much support!!!! I know you will be behind me when I try again and I love you all for it! Thanks to everyone who has gotten me through it... I don't know what the future holds but I know I will finally have the day when they call me an Ironman!