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2012-06-09 11:00 AM

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Elite
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Puyallup, WA
Subject: Making new friends...

...so I've been in the Pac NW for just over 2 years now. Not working regularly and not having got involved with any particular group (yet...) - I'm wondering how to "keep" friends. I know there is a lot of social networking etc, but I'm talking about in one type of instance. Let me give you an example- my step-daughter is in 5th grade and one of the other 5th grade teachers reminds me of my childhood friend and seems to be about my age. (not that that is a requirement - just that it means we may have some "common" ground.) In this particular instance - being as though I don't live all that close to the school...and that the school year is almost done...do I like...ask the woman out on a "friend date"?!?!  Do I "facebook" her down?!!? I've done that with a few people, but it usually just ends up being that I am just kept in the look of his/her statuses. Which is interesting...but not quite the same.

I know that there are meet-ups and groups to get involved in - but I'm curious about this particular situation...it feels almost like dating...but I've never really been good at (1) keeping friends or (2) making new friends since college.   (Keeping friends is hard, I think, because I've moved around a lot and...because I've moved around a lot, as a kid, I never really had to "keep" friends for more than a few years...but that's neither here nor there..)



2012-06-09 1:17 PM
in reply to: #4253049

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Pro
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Subject: RE: Making new friends...

In this case, I'd ask what her plans are for the summer. Let this lead wherever it goes, and suggest that you meet for coffee, join in one of the activities she wants to do, visit a museum... something that sounds in line with what she enjoys. 

It is awkward and it does feel like dating.

2012-06-09 1:23 PM
in reply to: #4253049

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Expert
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Prattville Insane Asylum San Antonio
Subject: RE: Making new friends...

I am the organizer of a playgroup on meetup.  I have met some of the greatest friends I have ever had just by starting the group and having playdates for our kids.  

Maybe you could find a group there in your area with common interests, they have them for everything.  I belong to several running clubs, photography clubs, book clubs, etc.  The best part is you meet in public, hang out and let the friendships develop.  

You could also join just local running clubs, book gatherings, etc.  Whatever you like to do and start on some common ground that way.  Most of my friendships outside of the playgroup have started by just striking up a conversation and then meeting up for coffee, etc.  

2012-06-09 10:05 PM
in reply to: #4253049

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Subject: RE: Making new friends...

you know, the PNW has all the people from BT on it... I mean - we already have wasting hours of our life on a website in common so at least there is a starting point

if that does not work I usually find the direct approach is best. tell the teacher "hey, you sound like a neat person, want to hang out this summer, get a coffee, go for a run, etc etc" and let that go where it may.

good luck!

2012-06-10 4:59 PM
in reply to: #4253049

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Straight outta Central Flurrrrrida
Subject: RE: Making new friends...

meetup.com seems to be a good place for triathlon training...and meeting new people!

you usually hang around the same like-minded groups of people and have an excuse to be around eachother (it seems like you're simply looking for an excuse to get together with people?)

 

 

Check this out, it may help ya out.

http://www.meetup.com/find/?userFreeform=puallyp&radius=50&radiusSet=true&show=results&sort=default&allGroups=true&keywords=triathlon&mcName=Puyallup%2C+WA%2C+USA&userFreeform=puallyp&mcId=&lat=47.18538&lon=-122.2929&gcResults=&op=search&sort=default&resetgeo=true&events=&show=results

Just show up and introduce yourself to someone and say "I'm new here, show me the ropes." Problem solved!

 



Edited by flashpoint145 2012-06-10 5:00 PM
2012-06-10 7:23 PM
in reply to: #4253049

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Champion
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Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Subject: RE: Making new friends...

Start out direct (the words in your original post are certainly good enough) and ask to meet up with her by June ?.  Assuming she says yes, then ask for a way to contact her. 

If you wander around and ask for a non-specific meet-up, you'll probably get a non-specific "sure" response and spend the summer not getting together. 



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