Anyone ever loose a training partner b/c of spouse? (Page 3)

anyway, as far as me seeking advice that only supports my opinion, well, that's not really the case, I can easily see why spouse is pissed, not hard but I take umbrage in your original post relating to my club activities and your "senses" or whatever b/c I'm sick of said spouse thinking I'm some floozy or God knows what but I know it's nothing good and then to have you pile on it just didn't sit well. I am not "wallflower" type so if my back gets up I'm gonna share my thoughts, then you can share yours but don't expect me to feel bad and not say anything, I don't work that way. Peace out!

You got it Phill I'm a man stealing christian who likes to help out my club when asked, yep, your spidey senses are top notch.

Anyway, thank you everyone else for your thoughts, I think your consesus is right, I just don't know what their relationship is like but obviously his spouse is not cool with me being his trainng partner so that's that.

 I actually do take it personally, b/c I know she's thinking all these wrong horrible things about me....achk, screw it, her problem, I soo need a female partner  so I don't have to deal with this crap again.

Patsy

i get it. Her discomfort has a hint of accusation, and it is at both of you. Part of your understandable reaction is "what does she think of ME?" There is a common cultural dysfunction we have related to our beliefs about the male and female libidos, that sometimes unconsciously, sometimes straight out gives a guy a pass on bad behavior because you know, we're just hormonal monsters and it's up to women to civilize us. So the onus is on the "other female" and she bears more responsibility. Not right, not fair, but it's part of our thinking nonetheless. 

No one is slow enough to train with me, so I don't have this problem. But when I entered 12step, I sought out a sponsor who understood the relationship with food and endurance sports. I connected well with a sponsor who is a very attractive woman. I asked my wife if this would make her uncomfortable, due to the closeness of a sponsor-sponsee relationship. Fact is, there are so few men in OA, I had no male options in my circles. Her response "just always meet in public and don't go anywhere in a car together." Parameters for the appearance of impropriety. Those were hers. Honestly, it sounds like your training partner's spouse has issues beyond that, and again, I see how you took it as a more personal accusation. 

Here's another point of view, albeit extremely skewed and probably more info than anyone needed to know, but like someone else said, maybe there's issues in their marriage that are compounding the jealousy:

My wife runs alot, she trains and runs up to marathons, even thinking about getting into Ultras, and she is a much faster runner than me.  There's no point in us even trying to run together, because we're talking about a 2 min/mile difference.  But she insists that training is much easier for her when she has a running partner.  Problem is, her most compatible running partner is this a-hole that she had an affair with a few years ago, and although she insists and I'm trying to believe it's over, she still wants to be friends with him and run with him on occasion.  Naturally I'm not at all cool with that.  But, we also have a running group here in town, and there's another male runner who is close to her pace, she gets along with him and likes to run with him.  He's very much so the "church going type".  But after hearing just a little too much about him and her talking about him and his running to much, I flipped my lid and said I was uncomfortable with the way she talks about him and uncomfortable with them running together.  What's my point?  This is an example of how easy it is to be jealous when you're the outsider (me) looking in at the close partnership that training partners tend to have.

But, I'm sorry that you are losing a training partner, a good one can be surprisingly hard to come by sometimes.  Good luck and hopefully it will work out!