friday funnies - 14.04.05

There’s an overcrowding problem in heaven. God and St Peter have a meeting to discuss the plausible excuses to enter heaven. All things sorted St Paul resumes he’s rightful position outside the Gates.

I few hours later a man arrives at the gates. St Peter explains the overcrowding situation and ask him for is excuse.

His reply was;

I had just finished one of the most gruelling days at work and decided to have a work out on my balcony. As I’m lifting the weights over my head, I lose my balance and fall over the railing. As I’m falling I manage to catch the railing under my place and start to try to scramble back in. Though this man comes out and starts hitting my fingers with a hammer. I lose my grip and fall 49 stories. I’m lucky enough to have the bushes below to break my fall. As I’m trying to get up, I see this fridge coming for me. Hit’s me and now I’m here.

“Well, I’m impressed. Your on your way in” said St Peter.

A few hours later, a second man arrives. St Peter explains the situation.

The man replies with;

I had a suspicion that my wife was having an affair. I arrive home early and to my surprise there was a man, hanging from the railing. I pick up a hammer and belted at his fingers. When he fell I saw that the bushes below broke his fall and decided to pick up the fridge and send that over to finish off the job. As soon as I did this I suffered a massive heart attack and died right there.

“Well! That is one of the best one’s I’ve heard all day. Okay you can go in” said St Peter.

A few hours later a third man arrives. Again St Peter explains the situation.

The man replies with,

If you can picture this, I’m siting in a fridge. Naked!



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A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in a small town in West Texas. He sits at the counter and notices an older cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chilli.

After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner states "Nah, go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a rotten dead rat in the chilli. The sight is shocking and he immediately pukes up the chilli into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got too."
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Edited by Spanner 2005-04-15 3:02 AM