I need help!!! Baby advice sought on sleeping

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Edited by adverbia 2005-10-31 2:09 PM

Cathleen:

Our youngest is just turning one next week. I remember the daze of sleep deprieved days and feel for you!

The pacifier may not be the reason why the baby is crying, but could be a distraction to the crying (if that makes sense). In other words, your baby may be hungry, wet, thirsty ... or (and this just frustrated the ever-living snot out of me as I tried to be super dad and figure out precisely why he was crying so that I could fix it) just plain feel like they need to cry.

If it is the pacifier that is causing the screaming, then perhaps helping them find their thumb will help (although 9 weeks is a bit young for that ... ours didn't find his thumb until ~12-14 weeks). Other than that, there is not much you can do as you cannot spend an entire day (and night) plugging a pacifier into your baby's mouth - so you shouldn't feel guilty if the baby has to 'work it out' and cry a little.

Since this isn't your first, I bet you already know this - but it bears repeating: sleep when the baby sleeps. The house + everything else can wait to calmer and saner times. My wife tried to be super mom during this time and wore herself out trying to juggle the house, relatives, cooking, cleaning and our other two children.

BTW, congrats on the new baby!!!!!

Let me give some more details so you know what's going on. When I put Isabel down, I change her, nurse her and she's out. I mean out, arms to the side sound asleep. I lie her down offer her the pacifer and she doesn't take it. Literally as soon as I shut the door she starts crying. I put the pacifer in and she's content to sleep till it falls out when she hits the passed out stage of sleep. Then she cries... I mean screams. I have tried the wait it out for 5 minutes, comfort and nurse give pacifer don't give pacifer and still as soon as the door is shut she starts screaming. Now this afternoon after 2.5 hours trying this, I gave up brought her down put her in her car seat and she's out. No pacifer needed, no nursing nothing. She wants to 1) be in the car seat upright and 2) suck on something. She has found her hand/thumb but I think it isn't "big" enough for her to get that comfort suck she wants. Child 1 was same with needing the comfort suck, child 2 found thumb at 2 days old and 4 years later still has it.

I haven't been "super mom". My father was here for 5 weeks post birth and since he left I have the policy of doing only 1 room of cleaning each day aka bathroom, kitchen etc... the house is never"all" clean at 1 time but by the end of the week atleast each room has been cleaned and let's just say Papa John's is on our speed dial when it comes to cooking. I'm on a first name basis with the delivery man.

Isabel is a sweet baby with a very pleasant disposition. This is just so tough to do as a parent teaching your child to put her/him self to sleep. After this afternoon and the torture i, she, and other kids endured I think I'll wait another month or so and hope that 1) she gives the pacifer up and 2) finds her thumb.

thanks everyone,
Cathleen

Edited by houston-tri-mamma 2005-10-31 4:46 PM

My sister's first baby slept really well in the car seat for a while (maybe the feeling of being held closely within it). She just put the car seat in the stupid crib. Eventually, he grew out of it. Just let baby sleep in the car seat.

She's been in the car seat in the crib since we brought her home. She hates lying down for some reason. She also doesn't like being swaddled. the problem is she is a big girl and is close to growing out of the car seat rather she's already twisting to roll so I'm afraid she'll flip out of the car seat and have it land on her. hence getting her to sleep lying down in her crib. Last night I added my other kids music cd of heartbeat lulla-byes and she did better. I also didn't let her fall completely out before lying her down. she was somewhat awake and knew where she was when I left her. maybe that'll help. She did sleep 75% of the night without pacifer though - that's an improvement.

Thanks any more advice is always welcomed!
cathleen

Ok, stupid Dad here.  I remember something we did with our daughter that seemed to work pretty well but I can't remember at what age we started it.  Seems like it was fairly early on though.  If she was crying and not comforting herself to go to sleep, the pediatrition said to go in her room and comfort her by rubbing, patting etc.  But under no circumstances pick her up.  Then leave the room(regardless of whether or not she stopped crying) and set a timer for 5 minutes.  If she is still crying at the end of the 5 minutes, repeat the process.  The first couple of times were really hard for 2 reasons.  It was hard to ignore your daughter while she is upset and the process had to repeated several times.  But I think she started comforting herself pretty quickly.  Again, I can't remember the age.  9 weeks maybe a little early.  I will keep watch on this thread since I will have a new baby girl in 6 days and will need to remember all this stuff.  Good luck 

ghart2 - hope all goes well in 6 days with new baby. The music with the heartbeat is wonderful - she's been napping all afternoon no problem and it's the only difference from yesterday to today. With my son i did that at 6 months, but with having 2 now in school and needing to get up early, i was hoping to start her earlier with good sleeping habits - but I have to agree 9 weeks is just too early for me to have such high hopes - but i'm starting early with the music and routine so she gets used to it... just not letting her cry it out - my poor heart can't take listening to her wailling....

Let us know about new baby when she arrives.

Cathleen

Use the FREAKIN pacifier. You don't see thirty year olds walking around with them, so they aren't for life. The night before my daughter ( a screamer from day one) turned three we told her the pacifier fairy was coming and all pacifiers had to go on the coffee table. The fairy would come and take them away and leave her a magical present......she did. She took them away and left roller skates! Wow! My daughter never missed the pacifier and when my son was born, you couldn't pay him to take one. So sleep already.