Wed. Funnies

> TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

> 30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.

> 29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

> 28. Duct tape won't fix that.

> 27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

> 26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

> 25. You can't feed that to the dog.

> 24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

> 23. Wrestling is fake.

> 22. We're vegetarians.

> 21. Do you think my gut is too big?

> 20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

> 19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

> 18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

> 17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

> 16. Too many deer heads detract from the décor.

> 15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

> 14. Trim the fat off that steak.

> 13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

> 12. The tires on that truck are too big.

> 11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

> 10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

> 09. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

> 08. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

> 07. Checkmate

> 06. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

> 05. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

> 04. I don't have a favorite college team.

> 03. You Guys.

> 02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

> AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

> 01. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!