fun with clipless pedals

So I decided, as an early birthday present to myself, to get a set of clipless pedals and road shoes.  The experience has taught me a lot, especially about how to acquire important virtues like humility.

Once I had affixed the pedals to the bike and the cleats to the shoes, I discovered that I had to take the cleats off and put them back on again, because I put them on backwards the first time.  The manufacturer evidently thought that it was so self-evident that the inside-facing part of the cleat needed to go on the inside-facing part of the shoe, that they did not specify this in the instructions.   I, in my great wisdom, proved that even the most obvious instruction should be specified.

Next, I could not for the life of me cause the cleat to clip into the pedal.  I tried for over half an hour, at one point calling the technical assistance hotline and being mocked for my pains.  My exertions actually exceeded that of a typical easy run or bike, and sweat beaded on my head as I assumed ludicrous positions and stood, flamingo-like, upon my bike.  At one point, I caused the bike to fall down on top of me in the kitchen.  I laughed hysterically as my dog fled the room, his tail between his legs.

When my husband got home from work, the two of us puzzled over the pedals and cleats for about twenty minutes.  We looked like the apes from 2001, pondering the meaning of the obelisk.  My husband removed the cleats from the shoes and reaffixed them, in a direction that turned out to actually be correct, because I had merely THOUGHT they were on backwards the first time before I second-guessed myself and "fixed it" by putting the cleats on backwards.  (Clearly, we are a well-matched couple.)  The cleats immediately snapped right into the pedals.

Now, I am learning to actually ride the bike with the pedals on.  Unwilling to be critically surveyed by my neighbors as I fall sideways and downhill with a bike on top of my body, I have chosen to do my initial learning in the hallway of my house, where there is a narrow wall to prevent me from falling down the entire way.  I suspect that I will need to repaint it soon.  I don't really want to talk about this phase of my clipless-pedal education right now, as many memories (and bruises) make it a painful subject.

My dog has proven to be the most intelligent member of the household during this time of learning in our lives.   He fears my road shoes.  When he hears their clicking and sees me waddle, penguin-like, towards the fateful corner where my bike lives, he immediately flees to the space behind the couch, where he stays until he hears the bike go back into its corner.