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Athletes' winter haikus
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 2013-12-21 3:06 PM |
Master  1441    North edge of nowhere |  Subject: Athletes' winter haikus• The cold wind blows, sharp The desert is frozen, still. I wanted to ride. • Sliced deep, to the bone, nothing moves not bundled-up. I wanted to run. • Skin feels brittle and it hurts to take a breath. maybe the trainer? • Eyes tear in the cold, frostbite is not a good thing. maybe the treadmill? Each to be taken individually, but also as a collective. Constructive criticism isn't resented; I've not written haiku since jr. high. I know "on" are not the same as syllables, but Westerners have modified the style as such, and it works well for my purposes. |
| 2013-12-21 5:24 PM in reply to: 0 |
Master 1970 Somewhere on the Tennessee River | Subject: RE: Athletes' winter haikus I like it. That the collective haikus have a theme and tells a story moves it from the simple level that is a haiku to becoming the higher level that is poetry. Just my two cents.
Edited by MadMathemagician 2013-12-21 5:25 PM |
Keep writing.| 2013-12-22 8:05 PM in reply to: MadMathemagician |
Master 1441 North edge of nowhere | Subject: RE: Athletes' winter haikus Thank you, I appreciate that very much. Originally posted by MadMathemagician I like it. That the collective haikus have a theme and tells a story moves it from the simple level that is a haiku to becoming the higher level that is poetry. Just my two cents.
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| 2013-12-22 8:48 PM in reply to: RBesecke |
Expert 2192 Greenville, SC | Subject: RE: Athletes' winter haikus Air escapes like smoke, |
| 2013-12-22 9:45 PM in reply to: 0 |
Master 8250 Eugene, Oregon Bronze member | Subject: RE: Athletes' winter haikus Outdoor pool in snow Speedoed forms glide through steam clouds Are we all crazy? In case you want to explore other forms: In HS I once wrote a poem in iambic pentameter about running for each of 12 months of the year. Will spare you from that. I can't find it anyway, and only remember a few lines of "January. Offered here for all those dealing with "real" winter weather-- By January I am always clad In thermals, long sleeves, Gore-tex, gloves, and hat. Thus, onion-like, wrapped in layers myriad I stiffly plod, feel out of shape and fat..... Edited by Hot Runner 2013-12-22 9:50 PM |
| 2013-12-23 3:20 AM in reply to: Clempson |
Master 1441 North edge of nowhere | Subject: RE: Athletes' winter haikus Originally posted by Clempson Air escapes like smoke, I like it; it's strong. Originally posted by Hot Runner Outdoor pool in snow Speedoed forms glide through steam clouds Are we all crazy? In case you want to explore other forms: In HS I once wrote a poem in iambic pentameter about running for each of 12 months of the year. Will spare you from that. I can't find it anyway, and only remember a few lines of "January. Offered here for all those dealing with "real" winter weather-- By January I am always clad In thermals, long sleeves, Gore-tex, gloves, and hat. Thus, onion-like, wrapped in layers myriad I stiffly plod, feel out of shape and fat..... Yah, we're all crazy to some extent. If I had a pool available, I'd be there. Onion-like. I hadn't thought of it that way. |
| 2013-12-23 7:53 PM in reply to: RBesecke |
Extreme Veteran 3025 Maryland | Subject: RE: Athletes' winter haikus |
| 2013-12-26 9:42 AM in reply to: dmiller5 |
| Iron Donkey 38643 , Wisconsin | Subject: RE: Athletes' winter haikus Nice work, everyone! |
| 2013-12-28 9:32 AM in reply to: RBesecke |
Pro 6011 Camp Hill, Pennsylvania | Subject: RE: Athletes' winter haikus |
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