traumatized...if you saw someone do this, what would you think?

Ok, this is a bit long, but I need to let this out...

Last Sunday I was swimming at one of my favorite parks (in Korea). The wind was pretty strong that day, and so the waves were pretty darn big. I won't go too much into my swim, but coming back to shore was quite difficult, especially since there are lots of sharp rocks near most of the inlets along the coast (the coast is partially cliff, partially inlets).

Anyway, after swimming (and getting reprimanded by Koreans for swimming in the big waves because it was 'dangerous' ), my Coach and I were walking back towards the inlet where I started. There were a bunch of kids playing in the waves in the shallow end, like they were when I started swimming 20 minutes ago (yea, short swim I know, but it WAS decently dangerous so my Coach thought I should stop at 20min).

Anyway, as we were coming closer, I saw someone who looked like they were in distress. I wasn't exactly sure, but my Coach and I both started running down the cliff in anycase. As I got closer down I realized he was seriously in trouble, and as this pathway down to the water is really steep and full of rocks you need to use your hands if you don't want to twist/break anything, so I chucked my jacket and cap and goggles down (somewhere) to get down as fast as possible.

We had a board which I attach to my foot when I am swimming in open water for visibility, so I threw off my shoes, attached that to my foot, and was about to dive in without my goggles, because I knew I had thrown them down and it might take me 10 seconds or so to find them and right before I attached the board to my foot the boy stopped moving, so I didn't want to waste any time. But my Coach yelled at me to get the goggles, so I found them, and dove in.

The waves, when swimming to and from the beach rather than parallel with, were really strong. Getting to him wasn't too bad (only about 20 meters), but once I got to him, like I said, he was unconscious, so I couldn't put him on the board. I grabbed him under my arm and began to swim back to the shore, but when going inwards the pull of the waves was really strong, and depending on how many we encountered, it might take up to 3 or 4 minutes to get him back, assuming that I could even hold on to him continuously which probably wouldn't have happened (multiple grabs).

However, much closer was a rock. I stupidly thought, maybe if I bring him to this rock, I can get his back on there, and then transfer him from this rock to the more secure rock (where my Coach could easily access to help him up), but which was connected but partially underwater, thus at the mercy of the waves when they came. In any case, I got to the rock, a wave came, and he slipped away from me. I went after him again, brought him back, and another big wave came, he slipped away, and I went tumbling into the nearby cove-area, surrounded by rocks and an omnipresence of white water. At that point, knowing my life was now in danger, I had to focus on saving myself, and eventually climbed out of the cove, uncontrollable sobbing, and needless to say, traumatized: partially from almost getting smacked on a rock myself, but mostly because I had the potential life of this kid in my hands and because I tried to take the closer, but more-dangerous way out, we weren't able to attempt CPR (which I really think would have worked).

Anyway, I'm not blaming myself too much, because I didn't know the area extremely well and hadn't thought out the repercussions, but nonetheless, I feel like I was thinking somewhat rationally at the time and should have known better.

Honest opinion (if any of you have made it this far): if you saw someone do this, what would your reaction be? (Really, bring it on. Koreans are very honest so I am used to more brutal honesty. In any case just talking about it makes me feel better and I know that even if people think I made a poor decision that they can't completely put me at fault).

Thanks so much for your contribution. It's been a rough past few days and I'm trying to get over it best as possible.

Edited by cam224 2009-08-10 10:20 PM