Hope this helps....
Well folks it arrived.....the 2005 football scouting report!
>>
>> The following scouting report is making the rounds of Division
>>I
>>football coaches:
>>
>> Wayfron P. Jackson: 6' 6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest
>>prospect from Texas in the last ten years. Loves rap music. Will
>> demand a mini cassette in his helmet. Currently holds world
>>record
>>for the most "you knows" during an interview
(62 in one
>> minute
). Wayfron can print his complete name.
>>
>> Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6' 3", 220 lbs.. Running Back. Set
>>state
>>scoring record out of Triton High School, Dunn, N.C. Also
>> led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has
>>been
>>clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV
>> under each arm. Heavily recruited by Nebraska, FSU, and Miami.
>>
>> Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From
>>Los
>>Angeles Remedial HS. Has processed hair and imitates
>> Billy Dee Williams very well. Before he signed his letter of
>>intent,
>>he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and
>> pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick."
>>
>> Woodrow Lee Washington: 6' 8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From a 4th
>>generation welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children,
>> played prep football at Chicago Corrections. Mother claims
>>Woodrow
>>and child number 9 have same father. He has a
>> manslaughter trial pending but feels he will be found innocent
>>because: "The dude said something bad 'bout my Momma." On
>> his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20.
>>
>> Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on
>>an
>>Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old.
>> Thinks the "N" on Nebraska's helmets stands for "Nowledge," but
>>still
>>meets this school's stringent entrance requirements.
>> Insists on wearing number 32 jersey since it matches his score
>>on his
>>College Entrance Exam.
>>
>> Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver from the
>>Bronx. Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but
>> hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges. Tyrone had
>>already signed letters of intent with six other colleges but wants
>> to try Southern Cal if not convicted. Likes wild women and red
>>Cadillacs. Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.
>>
>>
>> Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high
>>school
>>ball
(Atlanta
) under the name Sylvester LeRoy Jones until
>> he discovered religion. Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a
>>housing
>>project in Jacksonville. Doesn't know the meaning of the
>> word "fear."
(Doesn't know the meaning of many other words,
>>either.
)
>>
>> Note: College track coaches intend to use several of the above
>>signees in their track programs However, instead of using a
>> starting gun at track meets, the NCAA has now agreed to use a
>>burglar
>>alarm....this, they hope, will keep the runners alert.