TRICOMET TO FALL TO EARTH!!!!!!!!!!

NEWS FLASH!!!!

Welshy to dust TriComet!!!!!

When this reporter asked the infamous Welshy about his upcoming Army 10 mile road race in Washington DC, Welshy’s response was one word:

“Pain.”

Now this reporter already knew how dashingly handsome Welshy was, and further was aware of welshy’s extreme magnetism and manly aura, but this reporter must admit to becoming week in the knees with this one word and the determination in is masculine jaw….

“Pain? For who? Who is in Welshy’s crosshairs now? I mean, we all know about your complete and utter domination of the hosschicks and the IFH (Insipid Forces of Hosschickery)… Who would be insane enough to challenge the omnipotent Welshy? Who would have the temerity to go up against that which cannot be gone up against?” 

“TriComet,” he growled. "I will break her to my determined will.”

“Tri Comet? Isn’t she an accomplished marathoner? Isn’t she at the peak of her game? Isn’t she much younger than you? Isn’t she FASTER than you? Isn’t she…”

“Ok, I get your point…” He interrupted me – The forceful way he said it strummed a rubber-band in my spine, and he continued, oblivious to the effects his every movement caused in this reporters aching heart - "What you, and she, doesn’t understand is this: I am Welshy. I am the a to the pex. The rock of roll. The peanut of the butter.... I’ve the will of a god and the wit of Pan. My gas is the scent of heaven and my phlegm the nectar of love. Age and wisdom (and dashing good looks) will triumph over young and fast. I am Welshy and I will CRUSH her... Her doom is upon her!" His deep voice brought to mind montains grinding in their very roots.