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Is there a good way to handle it?
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 2006-01-14 11:24 PM |
 62 |  Subject: Is there a good way to handle it?So, today I'm at the Community Center, happily jogging along on the treadmill with my iPod on. I get that feeling like someone's watching me, so I look behind me and there are a couple guys sitting there, talking with each other and watching me. Whatever, that's fine. Then, the song stops and I hear what they're saying...yeah...really inappropriate stuff. I didn't say anything and I just kept running-turned up the iPod. But, I'm irritated by it. Is there a classy way to handle that? I think if I had said "shut it", it would have just made things worse. What would you have done? |
| 2006-01-14 11:44 PM in reply to: #324318 |
Elite 3972     Reno | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? Fart in their general direction... oh, you said classy. Tell them that their mothers would be so proud of them. |
| 2006-01-14 11:50 PM in reply to: #324318 |
Master 1462 Michigan | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? That would do it for me. |
| 2006-01-15 12:10 AM in reply to: #324318 |
| 62 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? I contemplated spitting at them...but yeah... |
| 2006-01-15 6:21 AM in reply to: #324318 |
Elite 2777 In my bunk with new shoes and purple sweats. | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? Were these inappropriate comments directed at you or just in general? Either way requires a response but just a little different. It takes a little courage but confront these things very directly and very LOUDLY. Creating a scene will draw attention to the problem and the perpetrators and allow others to be made aware of the problem and offer support/assistance. In a tolerant society those we tolerate should learn that we are tolerating their actions not embracing them or desiring to mimic their conduct. OK rant over. Good luck. |
| 2006-01-15 11:44 AM in reply to: #324318 |
Master 1946 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? hmm...how "inappropriate..."...mind have been kind of fun to call their bluff....trying to picture it- and them... |
| 2006-01-15 3:17 PM in reply to: #324423 |
| Elite 3650 Laurium, MI | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? that's when you get off the tredmill, walk up to them and LOUDLY say. "I can't believe you would talk about you Grandmother like that!!" go back to your tredmill and keep going Would be MUCH better if you had an old lady on the tredmill next to you. Then you could point to her as you "talk" |
| 2006-01-15 3:23 PM in reply to: #324318 |
Master 1249 Lexington, Kentucky | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? Did you tell the management what had happened? |
| 2006-01-15 3:45 PM in reply to: #324318 |
| 62 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? I didn't say anything because it was just me and these 2 guys in the room. Well, an old guy in the corner who appeared to be asleep, as well...As far as how inappropriate it was about my *** and what the one guy would like to do to it. (And not just one comment, this was like a several minute conversation.) I should have said something to management, I didn't even think about it at the time. I thought about saying something to the guys. Guess I was being kind of a wuss...I just couldn't think of anything that didn't sound stupid. Plus I was mad/embarassed. |
| 2006-01-15 3:54 PM in reply to: #324318 |
Expert 1180 Iowa | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? OK, now I get it. If you're ever uncomfortable, it's incumbent on you to do or say something. Either leave the treadmill and ask staff to tell them to knock it off or leave, or say something yourself, like "Would you two mind finding another place to sit - and take your disgusting comments with you!" Short of that I can think of, oh say, 50 BTers who wouldn't mind banging their empty heads together! Edited by triman50 2006-01-15 3:54 PM |
| 2006-01-15 4:01 PM in reply to: #324318 |
| New user 501 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? You should have told them that they were in the wrong place, and that you would call their mommy to come pick them up and take them to the babysitter. They're obviously very immature, and you should still report the behavior to management!! How old were they? |
| 2006-01-15 5:04 PM in reply to: #324318 |
| 62 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? They were in their mid-late 20s, I would guess...probably slightly older than I am |
| 2006-01-15 5:39 PM in reply to: #324318 |
| New user 501 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? Well, when they get in their mid - late 30's they will appreciate having attractive women around them. And not to oogle at either. I truly mean appreciate. I still think you need to say something to management ASAP. |
| 2006-01-15 6:25 PM in reply to: #324318 |
Master 2136 A Prairie Home | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? It's kind of like the stories of women who were inappropriately touched by men on public transportations. It's so obvious that the touching couldn't have been accidental. These women would chose not to confront the assailant because the person could fire back, denying the crime and said something insulting. So if I were in your situation, I would want to tell those people that I heard them and they have to stop, part of me just wanted to leave and forget about the incident. |
| 2006-01-15 8:06 PM in reply to: #324318 |
| 62 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? That's exactly it. I mean in the grand scheme, this isn't a big deal. I know that, you know that. I did call it in to the front desk and let them know. I guess maybe I did take the weak way out. Ugh. All the drama and it's not even like I'm hot! Geesh. |
| 2006-01-15 8:24 PM in reply to: #324318 |
Champion 7558 Albuquerque, New Mexico | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? I'd suggest a polite, calm, brief conversation with the perpetrators that their comments are not welcome, they make you uncomfortable, and your next course of action is to have a similar conversation with the club management. Give them a chance to stop and leave you alone. 'course I'm a guy, and I'd like to think I could be mature enough to not cause this kind of anxiety in other patrons. |
| 2006-01-15 9:00 PM in reply to: #324318 |
| Crystal Lake, IL | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? Are you in a situation where you think it's likely that you'll run into them again? If so, and if you are in the Chicago area I'd be in a position to convince these young men of the error of their ways. In this day and age of electronic communication an up close personal conversation can often convey messages not as easily detected in an email, or thread posting. |
| 2006-01-15 9:42 PM in reply to: #324318 |
Master 1946 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? Not about "hot". No club employee in room? Good you reported it- and if only a few people, probably safest approach...but sometimes taking the offensive/ confront approach (with confidence !) can be tres effective. Sorry you had to put up with it. |
| 2006-01-15 10:43 PM in reply to: #324318 |
| 62 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? Thanks for the input, everyone. I'm going to just put it away and not worry about it now. (Like I said, it's not that big of a deal, just apparently bothering me enough that I bothered to post about it!) And if it does happen again, I'm going to try to politely, non-confrontationally say something. But hopefully it won't! Thanks, guys! |
| 2006-01-15 11:32 PM in reply to: #324318 |
Elite 3972 Reno | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? Hey - if you are on BT, you are hot! Right guys? If you are at a "community center" I picture a family atmosphere. These guys were out of line. I know you thought it was a one time infraction, sure, let it ride. But if it continues, it constitutes harrassment - get whaterver help you need from management, because nothing like these morons can stand between you and your goals. |
 2006-01-16 4:36 AM in reply to: #324686 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-01-16 9:01 AM in reply to: #324318 |
| Pro 4040 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? I know some of you are not into potty mouth, but I would strongly urge you to stop, look at them squarely in the eyes, and say "why don't you guys %&$# off?" or "go %&$# yourselves". Don't bother with clever remarks, tell them what's what and be done with it. Those guys will walk out of there with their tails between their legs and they will not bother you ever again. |
| 2006-01-16 9:06 AM in reply to: #324318 |
| Elite 2421 | Subject: RE: Is there a good way to handle it? What they did is what we guys call "lockerroom talk"... it's called that because it's supposed to go on in the confines of the lockerroom. Now, it would appear as though we now know why. Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Idiot deserve whatever you give them. I'd walk up and make some explicit remarks about there inability to perform, but since you did say classy... I'd just tell management. bts |
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