WEnsday Funnies

Okay i know im a bit early, but its wensday on the wrong coast.


What's an auditor??Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Why did the auditor cross the road??Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

Why did he cross back??So he could charge the client for travel expenses.

A fool and his money are soon audited

The accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"

What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.

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Enron Capitalism

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Communism: You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the
milk.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred through an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The Enron annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.