Most heartless breakup..

My ex-fiancee broke up with me (for all intents and purposes), with a 7am phone call saying "for the last 6 months I've been having an affair with a married-with-kids DEA agent, so I guess the wedding's off, huh?"

This was the same DEA agent who she'd been palling around with doing investigative news stories for the paper she worked at. Oh...and for reference, she was (supposedly) a very devout Roman Catholic so we rarely had sex, and when we did it was guilt-filled. But affairs with married guys were apparently OK.

"The last girl I dated was like a barbie doll, and I just don't want to be seen settling for something less"

ouch.

Seriously, this really happened and I have never in my life been more angry, disappointed humiliated etc.

I had been dating my gf for 7 months when I went to Mexico for 3 weeks for work (leading a group of kids around.)  We emailed a few times whenever I could get to an Internet cafe, but it was really hard to do that, and after 7 months, and the seriousness of our relationship, I felt pretty OK that a few weeks with no communication was OK. Understood, even, by her, that it would be almost impossible to communicate, and we'd have lots to talk about when I got back...

So I get back. Call her first thing. She is totally polite and nice and friendly, but a little distant. I say, "When can I see you?" (Assuming she was grabbing the keys that second to come over!) She says, in complete earnestness, "I think I have some time next thursday after work for a bit...."

So we continue to have a bizarre  conversation which feels like 2 parallel conversations, and suddenly it occured to me that she was talking to me like a casual aquaintence.  I asked her what was up, and she said, "Oh, I figured it was probably over anyway, so I've been dating a few new people..."

It was INSANE. There is no other way to describe the strangeness of this, my friends were all mistified, some were on her case to grow up and at least have the courtesy to "break up" rather than just move on unilaterally with no communication..  I just wanted to expose her screwedupness to her new dates.  Turns out she had one particular "date" which began the day BEFORE I left for Mexico!

When I need motivation to work harder at the gym, I think of her.  7 years later, I still feel like punching her in the face. 

Aw, thanks. Looking back, it's slightly funny -- I still remember being all insecure and sad (and also very very angry ...) and then I remember that he actually bought his ex her boobs, and, while I appreciate that he's a giver ... um, no thank you.

That or a girl that can pop her head on and off again. Or only 10 inches tall. Either way, may he fall in love and marry the Asexual girl of his dreams.

Yeah but you gotta figure that says a lot more about him than it does about you. 

The worst way that happened to me, well, I've got a couple actually.  But the one that messed with me the most was one GF shortly post-college.  We started dating while we were both at school.  She lived in NY, I lived in Chicago.  So, that didn't really help things, but I flew out to visit her a couple times and she came out here a bunch.  On my last visit, just after spending what I thought was a fun Thanksgiving, she handed me a note at the airport as I was leaving.  Told me not to open it until I was on the plane.  Okay, she asked, so I didn't read it until then.

I get to my seat on the plane, we're pulling away from the gate, and I open it.  Read on to find out that she was dumping me, because I was "too nice," and she was back together with her druggy ex-bf, but since her parents had invited me to Thanksgiving she didn't want to dump me before I came and she was too chicken to do it while I was there.  So she figured a note would be the easiest way.

Sitting on a plane for 2 hours with complete strangers, desperately wanting someone to talk to and not having anyway to do so completely sucked.  It took me a good couple years to finally get over that.

Why does the idea of lesbian whores strike me so funny?

Sorry for making light, cause that truly sucks. And if I see her first I'll punch her in the face for ya. You can bail me out of the pokey. 

Another fun one.  ( I have not had the best luck... )  This happened with the GF after the previous one.  It's a long story, but the short version is she was still in school when we met.  I had a nice job so I ended up paying for most things.  One of her classes was taking a trip to France for a month.  She didn't have enough to pay for it, so being the nice guy ( read "sucker" ) that I am, I made up the difference as a Xmas present.  She gets there, is having a great time.  Doesn't call very often, but there's a big time difference, so whatever.  I go to visit her for a week, and things are.... weird.  The rest of the class is treating me funny so I know something is not right.  I get back home, she calls me, tells me she's not coming home.  Turns out that she had been talking to a guy in Paris for years online.  He came and met her at the airport and they spent everyday together except for the week that I was there ( suddenly the rest of the students on the trip acting weird made sense ).

She never did come home.  She still lives in Paris, and is married to the guy.

It might not be as bad as some of your stories.  I initiated the break-up with my ex-boyfriend, afterall, when I see the relationship was not going anywhere.  Anyways, when we were discussing about the breakup, he begged me to stay.  Our rental contract was ending at that time and he talked me into giving him a change and signing up for another 1 yr lease.  A few weeks after that, he started coming home late, some times 3-4 am.  He was doing his MBA in the evening and I knew sometimes he'd go with his study group for a drink after class.  Even though we were breaking up, I still worry about him driving home after drinking. Turned out he was with another woman. 

So that was it.  I gave up that new lease deposite and we were splitting.  I moved into my new apt on Thanksgiving weekend.  My brother was nice enough to keep me company for that weekend.  Went shopping and we saw his car in the parking lot.  Brother pointed it out, saying "hey, he's also in the mall.  He doesn't like shopping.  Whats he doing here?"  I said "guess he might be with someone else".  Brother had no idea what I was talknig about.  Then, just like in the movie, we ran into him and that other girl in the mall.  It's when brother finally understand why I insisted on moving out, and he was madder than I was. 

I was ok at that time.  It only hit me when I went home and brother left (he had a 2-hr drive back to school and an exam after thanksgiving weekend).  I rarely bump into people when I go out.  I was angry that he talked me into giving him a chance then went with someone else.  I wanted to talk to someone but most of my friends left the state/country after college, and I didn't want to bother my bro again.  I was ashame to adimit that I cried that night. 

Oh... he actually had the nerve to ask to borrow some money from me afterward.  I was like, "fxck you". 

Wow... that sounds like it sucks.

She probably meant to post that in the "Things I Won't Do" thread. 

hehe... guess I pressed "enter" before I typed. 

Hey, I think that guy should be the one who was paying the difference for the trip.  Or she should tell you not to go visit her. 

And what kind of class is it to require students to go to another country? What if a student really cannot afford it or had visa problem?  Would he/she fail the class?

Wow, you actually might be "too nice". That's horrible. What a b****! Well, you'll find a girl who is also too nice and you can be too nice to eachother for the rest of your lives. You certainly have some good karma coming your way!

I've gotten this one before, via e-mail.  

WTF is that about?  Hearing (reading) this wanted to make me go a$$hole, vis-a-vis the phrase "nice guys finish last".  

Chicks, man.  Chicks.

OK, there was the recent email dumping, which fortunately only stung for about 5 minutes, because it certainly hadn't been super serious, and karma smiled on me in the 24 hours anyway to make up for it. I'm sure I'll run into him again soon, and I'll give him a thwack upside the head for the delivery and inform him that I WILL smoke his butt at the Army 10 miler. Of course, not 12 hours after I get "Hey, I'm kinda dating this other girl so you're off limits now" I also get, "I saw you in the parking lot in the store and wow, you looked totally cute." Sorry, I'm off limits now.

The most insensitive has to go to my ex-husband - though things had been spiraling downward and it was not a surprise by any means, he chose to inform me of this plans to move out on my birthday. Classy.

Then there is always the "it's not you, it's me" - which I choose to interpret as, "damn skippy it's not me, cause I'm the best thing that happened to you."

I was dumped by one guy for a total psycho who in turn dumped him... It was somewhat gratifying to get an IM from him a few months later saying, "Hey, for the record, I chose wrong." Yup, you certainly did, and you're very lucky I am a wonderful person and am still speaking to you. (I actually talked to him just the other day and he commented on how he really appreciated the fact that I still spoke to him.)