Becoming Sober

Yes, I believe there are quite a few of us on here, I know me and Yanti (Triaya) for sure.  I just passed my 13 years sober mark at New Year's... let me tell you life IS better without alchohol!  Waking up without a hangover is probably the best reason!  As is being able to drive ANY time!  I'm probably one of the odd ones in that I did this cold turkey with no help.  Made up my mind and just did it.  Never backtracked, fell off the wagon, just did it.  Lost about 50 pounds at the same time.  I will tell you that it is STILL hard to be around situations with alchohol... my husband has never stopped drinking so we have wine/beer/booze around our house all the time.  We have occasional dinner parties where I'm the only one not drinking... it all starts out fine, but there comes a point when it is like a switch has been thrown, every one has a really good buzz going on except me, and it ceases to be fun anymore.  It is quite eye opening the first time that YOU are sober and everyone else is NOT... you will wonder, "Was I that stupid acting"... well yeah, you were!  I was not the type who woke up and started drinking, hiding bottles in the dishwasher or anything like that... but I did reach a point that I was embarrassed that my kids had seen me out of control, and that my life revolved around where my next drink was coming from.  I NEVER ran out of wine/booze... I made sure of it.  If we were taking a drive for fun, I'd be thinking, hmmm, where can we stop for a few drinks...

You may have to give up certain friendships, and situations that have booze associated with them.  You may need help, no shame at all in going to AA if that's what it takes.  Luckily you already have another outlet... training!  I have a very addictive personality and I have thrown myself into this sport like crazy.  At some point you will have to face the fact that you may or may not EVER be able to have a drink.  I have a lot of friends who quit and then said they could "handle it", and just drink a few.  Guess what, they were right back into the old cycle within a few weeks.  I know that I cannot ever have "just" one, it would be the trigger to go back to that old lifestyle and I am not willing to give up how far I have come.  The sooner you can accept that fact, the better off you'll be.  I do have an occasional O'Douls, and a glass or 2 of Fre wine - alchohol free (although I stay away from the Fre for the most part, tastes too much like the real thing, so only for special occasions like Xmas dinner...)  Having a bottle of O'Douls at least makes me feel like I'm fitting in with everyone else, although I certainly have my share of Diet Coke too!

You CAN do it, it won't be easy, but you CAN do it!!  We will be here to help you along the way... anytime.  And I mean that... it does get easier the longer you go.  

Big congrats on making a change.  Just like getting off the couch and training the hardest part is starting.  

Good luck!!

Hopefully the person bringing this to your attention is yourself. Someone telling you they think you need to quit drinking will usually have completely different results in the quest for sobriety than YOU deciding you need to quit drinking. It won't work until you decide to quit. 

I have been sober for a hair over 10 years now.  It sounds trite, but take it one day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow.  All you need to do is not drink today.  Surround yourself with sober people.  If that means giving up on old friends, so be it.  If it means staying home on Saturday nite, so be it.  AA can and does do wonders and there is nothing wrong with it.  Granted, it may not be for everybody, but there is certainly nothing wrong with giving it a try. Keep an open mind because you will learn a lot about yourself the longer you are sober.

Its not easy, but if you work at it, it does get better.

You're not alone either.  There are some people on this site with a lot of sobriety.  Sober people tend to help each other stay sober.  If you have any questions, worries or just need to vent, don't hesitate to PM me.

Everyone does not have the same "problem" or needs the same solution.

There are people in life that can take it or leave it. What's the problem... just leave it.

There are many people that find they do not care for the road they are on and reevaluate things and change direction.

There are many people that enjoy what they are doing, but then something bad happens that makes them aware that the consequences are not worth it and the change direction.

There are some people that have their troubles brought to their attention by those that care about them and they decide they do not like hurting those they love and they change their ways and go a different direction.

I am "none of the above". If you are one of the above, great. It's all about priorities in life. Learn which ones are important to you.

But if you are like me, someone that "all of the above" was not a good enough reason to change, then I will tell you the same thing I was told when I asked the same question.... if you think you have a problem, then it will be a problem from this day forward and it will never go away until you deal with it... oh ya, and it will only get worse from here. Sorry, I don't make the rules, I just have to live with them.

This. In spades.

I'm assuming that you are saying this because it's a real problem/addiction?  Not just a lifestyle change?

I mean, I could say I'm giving up sweets for training and health, but it's really not a problem.

Good luck either way for the lifestyle change.  It's in the right direction, that's for sure.

It is a life commitment.  If you want it bad enough you can do it.  You may need help from others.  Don't be afraid to ask.  What is the worst that can happen?  Somebody that probably thinks you need to quit, is going to hear it from you.  It is not weakness.  Weakness is the easyway; continuing to live with your hangup.   If you can do this, you can do anything.  But it never goes away.

Life is awesome when you can really see and feel.  And you can still be the person that you want to be.  Just be honest with yourself.  If you like to dance poorly, dance poorly.  Be you. 

Hey Tyler!

I can tell you this - if you think you have a problem, drinking will NEVER be the same once you cross that sobriety bridge. Only you can cross that bridge though and I can tell you that it ain't always easy, but so worth the effort and journey. Last drink for me was '92. I honestly would not be doing tri's let alone taking care of myself physically had I not put down the booze. Sobriety has afforded me the ability to become the hero that my cats think I am! Seriously though, you helped keep me sober one more day. Thanks for sharing.

If drinking is negatively affecting your life, training, health, and relationships (possibly then also the lives of those around you) ... you're very wise to take a look at it.

I'm sober 9 years now. The quality of my life now simply isn't comparable to what it used to be like. Being sober also made everything else easier--got me into endurance sports, the weight loss, the clearer thinking, seeing where others are coming from and being able to be there for them.

I got sober through AA, with people helping me to do the twelve steps so that I could clear away and address my fundamental problems and continue to live well.

If you want more info about AA, there will be what's called a central office somewhere in your area that you can look up on the Web or in the Yellow Pages and call. You can usually also arrange to meet someone from the office at one of the meetings they go to so that you don't have to feel like you're going in there alone, if you prefer.

All the best to you. Feel free to PM me if you have any more questions or thoughts.

Thank you all so very very much for taking the time to respond.

I am looking forward to the journey, that is for sure.  I do realize that I  can only take it one day at a time, so that is exactly what I am going to do.

I have told a few of my close friends on my decision, and they have all been very very supportive, which is helping a lot. 

Thanks again everyone for all the advice, I will keep you up to date on my progress as time goes on.  

Tyler

good luck, buddy!!

i admire you immensely! Ain't gonna be easy but I'm sure you'll do it!

All I can say is that I always get encouragement to quit things when I hear about other people trying to quit things.  Good luck, and surround yourself with like-minded people.  I can't imagine how hard it is (but I can imagine how possible it is).

You've heard my story in our PM's..  All of this is good advice, I sent you a helpful link this morning.  Good luck keep sending me PM's if you need to!!

I can't imagine the challenge of getting sober.

Alcohol is everywhere, and sometimes I am shocked by just how much.  Group runs seems to end with beer all the time, and even some of the triathlons are beer sponsored with loads of it just sitting around. 

Personally I find beer (and coffee for that matter) bitter and nasty so no problem, but for a drinker it must be heaven or hell depending on the side of the fence one finds themselves on.

All I can say it that if you want to you will do it.  Whether it's losing weight, kicking smoking or any other drug. The most important step is making that decision. Then it is time to seek out support, so you are on the right track!

It's pretty tough especially when most social events are centered around drinking.  Other little things like going to the gas station where they always have a tub of tall boys on ice makes it very tough. 

I'm a little opposite.  I've found I can handle the social situations, it's the time I spend alone when the temptations get triggered..  If I have the right tools, the temptation fades just as fast as it had arrived...

Come to Pennsylvania. No alcoholic beverages at the gas stations or grocery stores. You can only get liquor and wine at the state store; and beer either by the 6pack at designated restaurants (mostly pizza places and brew pubs in my experience) or by the case at the beer distributor (which makes it tough to try specialty beers - that case of peach beer proved nearly undrinkable).

It always struck me that making people buy beer by the case almost encourages overuse, since having a lot of something makes it easier to use more than intended, whether it is the case of beer, the giant bag of chips, or any other items.

I don't find it hard at all. I don't want it. Sure it's nice to think about the good old days long before the problems... but that is not my reality today. Today, I don't salivate over a cooler full of pain misery and dispair.

Oh you've brought back memories!!! Sorry to hi-jack but dang!  I can remember going into bars (or what I'd classify as 'old man' bars) to buy a six pack of beer 'after hours' in PA.  And I used to drive from the Scranton area over to Binghamton NY to buy beer (21 vs 18 years of age then)...talk about crazy dangerous. And those beer distributor places - it was like a drive thru - cars lined up and would drive into the warehouse, load up your cases of whatever beer, and pay and go. It was like a giant candy store for me! LOL