What did you say to your kids?

My children know nothing of this situation.  Some may consider that good or bad.

In general, we prepare them with how to react to sensitive situations.

IMHO, they have their entire lives to see the garbage of this world...I'd like to keep them innocent for a while (but prepared).

Us too. How did your 7 year old find out?

My kids are older 18, 16, & 15.  They all understood that it was evil right away so I didn't have to explain any of the why stuff.  We had a high school shooting a few years ago here at Millard South High School just down the road (My kids go to Millard West) so they've done a lot of "talking" at the schools already and they're very aware it could happen.

I had them all explain what the procedures are at the school if they have a shooter.  They announce a Code Red and all the classrooms go on lockdown with the lights out.  They huddle in an opposite corner of the room and wait.

I told my boys (the two oldest) that if they were ever in a real situation to follow the directions of the teacher, but if the shooter started coming into the room they needed to take charge immediately.  My boys are big, both over 6'2" and very athletic.  I told them to get all the boys together and grab whatever they could, desks, chairs, you name it and full on assault anyone with a gun that comes through that door.  He may take out some of you, but don't you dare just sit in the corner and wait to be shot.  My boys are very familiar with guns, so they know what to do if they get ahold of one of them from a shooter.

Obviously my approach isn't for a little kid and even with my daughter who is in 8th grade I told her to listen and take cover behind the heaviest object in the room.

Amen, we sheltered ours for as long as we could.

Yeah I wish - but we're driving back from her first triathlon training on Saturday morning here in Australia and the radio is on - we interrupt this broadcast for a breaking news item - too late I realised what was being said and of course I also wanted to listen.  She rarely takes notice of any news on the radio....BUT this time she did and she then asked the questions - I wasn't about to lie. 

In Australia news bulletins come thick and fast on tv and radio - not always scheduled.  I kept her away from both but then out for breakfast on Sunday a tv was on...again there it was.  Plus mummy was obviously upset.

Her initial reaction was sympathy for the guy's mother, not only did her son kill himself he did a really wicked thing and everyone will hate her for it - the way their minds work is incredible!!

i knew it would be a much talked about subject at some family functions over the weekend, I felt it important to arm her with facts and also reassurance rather than playground rumours or family overheated political debate. (Greek family believe me this is a HUGE issue!  My husband's family have no filter at all for sensitivity around children or anyone else.)

Our kids are 8, 6 and 4.   We don't have the TV on while they are awake, for the most part.  Plus, since we only get BBC and CNN international, we weren't subject to the news cycle anyway.

We quietly pulled the 8 and 6 year old aside and explained that they might hear about this at their school.   I told them very generally what happened, and that they should feel safe in their school.

They're still pretty innocent, they didn't have a lot of "why" questions to ask. 

We told them that if they *did* think of any questions to ask, that they should come ask us, and we'll talk about it.

They were good with that and it didn't become a big issue.   We asked them if anyone talked about it at school, and they said no.   Not TOO surprised, Americans are the minority at their school, and most people aren't glued to the news like they are at home.

I notice you're in China where there was an incident too.

My daughter is rarely exposed to news either, but Australia has a very big interest in all things American and/or English.  There's not much going on here of newsworthiness - today's lead item was cricket scores....

I think that's great.  We shouldn't shelter kids from the truth either.  If mine had found out (they're 10 and younger), I believe I would have been the same as you.

Its very very difficult and think how you're straightforward and honest is key.  Kids are pretty smart.

Likewise.  I've got a 7 and 4 year old.  There's no way I'm telling them about it if they don't hear.  It was tough on me to not be able to watch the coverage or listen to the radio when they were around, but it's probably for the best.  For all of us, quite frankly.

That was my plan. My kids did not know a thing all weekend. Then my son comes home from school today and blurts out that a bad guy shot a teacher and 3 kids and he said this right in front of the 4 preschoolers I was caring for today. BLACH .  Luckily the little ones were watching Frosty and did not even seem to hear him.

He just kind of said it then ran off to play. Later when we were in the van I asked who told him, one of his friends at school. I told him - you know that was really far away and the bad guy is gone. He wanted to know what happened to the bad guy so I told him he was shot too. Then he wanted to know what would happen if a bad guy was in his school. I said that is not likely to happen but you know you have officer XXX in the building and his job is to protect all the children. Plus your Daddy is right down the hall all the time. 

Honestly I don't feel like I did that great with this little talk. I just really had it in my head that my kids were not going to have to hear about it so I wasn't prepared. Naive, I should have known he would hear about it at school. 

talk about incomprehensible!  NPR occasionally airs British news, and I always get a quizzical look in the car when they come on.  Oh well, carry on!

This did come up with my 12 and 10 year old daughters.   We said.   "Yes its horrible,  evil and we really cannot explain why  it happened.    But nothing like this has ever happened at your school or any of the schools mom and dad have gone to, or any in our area.   Your school does a really good job with security.     So kids, are you afraid?  do you have any other questions?    I'm sorry that mom and dad do not have every answer as to why some things happen.   Not everyone you meet or come in contact with is a nice person.  please remember that.

No worries about the USA thing.   We had to explain to our eldest why a Dingo is not going to eat her little sister. 

My daughters are a bit older at 13 and 11. We talked about it on Friday and Saturday in bits and pieces.  Neither of them watch the news and have gotten most of their information from us.  My 11 year old's school talked about it today and we discussed it as a family on Sunday morning. We prayed about it at church on Sunday as well.  I believe that you should address this head on as a parent (age appropriate of course). I don't think a 7 year old can understand all that is happening. Unfortunately, we as parents cannot control everything our children can hear. We discussed this tragedy in the context of our faith and horrific circumstances. I don't have answers for every parent; but I guess in our situation, we did the best we could. 

LMAO

that's about all any of us can do.

My kids are early teens.  They have watched their father cry when his friends were killed.  I took them to the funerals. (5 to date, I expect there will be more). They knew the guys, and knew some of their kids.  I can't afford to shield my children from the reality of what I do.....what if they had to go on without me?  They need to see that they can.

I walked into the house on Friday and said, "did ya'll hear about what that idiot in Ct. did?  Some piece of human waste walked into a grade school and killed 20 kids and 6 teachers"....and then we sat down and watched some of the coverage.  We shed a few tears together....we agreed that it's horribly sad.  Then we talked about what to do if they ever found themselves in a similar situation....then we went to the Y and had a workout together.

The next day.....life went on.

For me this was just plain difficult as it's the first time my daughter had been exposed to anything like this - just never happened. 

She is totally unaffected to be honest - it's me that's affected that I had to have a discussion about something I wasn't ready to.  But that's life as a parent.  There's no rulebook or timetable.  She saw my face in the car, she saw me cry and I had to talk to her about it.  I'm glad I did - I could have switched it off and said, oh that's a movie dear.

Is it a double standard that I've spoken to my kids about child abductions (even recent accounts of local attempts) but not this?

The topic of Sandy Hook has not come up w/ our children.  As far as I know it has not been mentioned at school.  However, b/c my children walk 3/4 mi to school I HAVE spoken to them about bad people and how sometimes bad people do bad things like take children (and sometimes those children are never seen again and don't come home).  When something of similar account happens in our valley I share it with them.  I think it is impt that our children know the potential of what may happen and be aware of their situations.  While I don't see the world through rose colored glasses, I'm not sure that telling my 6 and 9 yo will help them function or keep them any safer by knowing about this incident.

Then again, I just remembered that I saw on the news last night, locally, that a 6th grader brought a hand gun to school to "keep him and his friends safe".  REALLY?   One could say that perhaps the parents didn't convey the message appropriately.   

My children know about firearms... the safety aspects, the consequences of mishandling, etc... maybe I need to speak to them specifically about what to do when you see a gun in the hands of someone that shouldn't have it or may not have good intentions.