Facebook strangers
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2016-08-08 9:12 AM |
Subject: Facebook strangers I participated in a sprint on Saturday (first race in 3 years) and met a guy on the cycling portion. We kept passing one another the whole race - he passed me on the turns, I passed him on the straights. For the last stretch of the bike he called out for us to finish up together and he introduced himself. Yesterday I had a FB friend request from him. Now, while I appreciate meeting someone nice at a race I will likely never see this guy again. Do you accept requests from people you've only met briefly? |
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2016-08-08 9:39 AM in reply to: trigal38 |
Veteran 275 Algonquin, IL | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Happened to me at an open water swim practice a few years ago. We were swimming an actual tri course and I was just chatting with a small group of people as I had done the race several times. What to look for, where transition is normally set up, etc. Introduced ourselves and I gave my first and last name out of habit. Later that night I had a friend request from one of the people. A little creepy as I have a very small circle of FB friends and most are people I have known for years or relatives. I try to make myself anonymous online, but I have a very distinct last name. You can find me rather easily through LinkedIn, any race result website or through my role at an annual meeting I attend. |
2016-08-08 1:13 PM in reply to: cartman1966 |
Deep in the Heart of Texas | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers If your registered in a triathlon, you're not very anonymous. Wearing the number gives anyone that sees it a direct link to your name... I've had a FB account for 8 years and still have not accepted a single friend request, even from my wife. FB is much easier without "friends" going on and on about menial stuff. I certainly wouldn't want to friend someone I'd never see again.
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2016-08-08 1:42 PM in reply to: trigal38 |
New user 1351 Austin, Texas | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers It's a turnoff for me too. I do have a FB account but I have it set up so that nobody can see pictures of me. I never liked the idea that someone could take a picture of me and tag me in it without my permission. I like to be in control of what information about myself is put out there. I do however use it for what I think it's good for- a rolodex of contact info for people whose email addresses I don't have. I'd be especially turned off by friend requests from strangers if I was a woman, because more likely than not they're interested in seeing pictures which I find creepy. |
2016-08-08 1:56 PM in reply to: trijamie |
Champion 6993 Chicago, Illinois | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by trijamie I'd be especially turned off by friend requests from strangers if I was a woman, because more likely than not they're interested in seeing pictures which I find creepy. I never accept them from strangers. Friends on friends sometimes but rarely. Most time if I get one from a female stranger I suspect "she" is trying to catfish me. |
2016-08-08 3:05 PM in reply to: chirunner134 |
2016-08-09 7:24 AM in reply to: Left Brain |
Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by Left Brain What is Facebook? My 75 year old widowed mother is on FB. Get out from under your rock! Actually if I were in your profession I would not be on FB either. |
2016-08-09 10:22 AM in reply to: trigal38 |
Extreme Veteran 2263 Ridgeland, Mississippi | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by trigal38 Originally posted by Left Brain What is Facebook? My 75 year old widowed mother is on FB. Get out from under your rock! Actually if I were in your profession I would not be on FB either. Oh why not? FB has nothing but nice things to say about the police... |
2016-08-09 2:08 PM in reply to: Hook'em |
Extreme Veteran 345 Colorado | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by Hook'em If your registered in a triathlon, you're not very anonymous. Wearing the number gives anyone that sees it a direct link to your name... I've had a FB account for 8 years and still have not accepted a single friend request, even from my wife. FB is much easier without "friends" going on and on about menial stuff. I certainly wouldn't want to friend someone I'd never see again.
So if you have no friends on Facebook, what do you do on it or why do you have it? |
2016-08-09 2:10 PM in reply to: trijamie |
Extreme Veteran 345 Colorado | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by trijamie It's a turnoff for me too. I do have a FB account but I have it set up so that nobody can see pictures of me. I never liked the idea that someone could take a picture of me and tag me in it without my permission. I like to be in control of what information about myself is put out there. I do however use it for what I think it's good for- a rolodex of contact info for people whose email addresses I don't have. I'd be especially turned off by friend requests from strangers if I was a woman, because more likely than not they're interested in seeing pictures which I find creepy. I don't think the picture thing works like that any more. I believe now if someone tags you, it sends you a message prompting you to accept the tag or not. Or you can at least set your security permissions to do that. I think a lot of people didn't like that they were being tagged without permission. I know I had a couple pics I wasn't really pleased about being made public! ;-) |
2016-08-09 2:12 PM in reply to: smarti |
Champion 6993 Chicago, Illinois | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by smarti I know I had a couple pics I wasn't really pleased about being made public! ;-) I think we are going to need to see the pictures you know so we fully understand what you need. :p |
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2016-08-09 3:41 PM in reply to: smarti |
Deep in the Heart of Texas | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by smarti I'm affiliated with a few organizations that communicate extensively through FB (Rotary, school athletics booster clubs, master swim, etc.). I have an account to monitor and post on their FB pages.Originally posted by Hook'em So if you have no friends on Facebook, what do you do on it or why do you have it? If your registered in a triathlon, you're not very anonymous. Wearing the number gives anyone that sees it a direct link to your name... I've had a FB account for 8 years and still have not accepted a single friend request, even from my wife. FB is much easier without "friends" going on and on about menial stuff. I certainly wouldn't want to friend someone I'd never see again.
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2016-08-10 10:34 AM in reply to: smarti |
1300 | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by smarti Originally posted by Hook'em So if you have no friends on Facebook, what do you do on it or why do you have it? If your registered in a triathlon, you're not very anonymous. Wearing the number gives anyone that sees it a direct link to your name... I've had a FB account for 8 years and still have not accepted a single friend request, even from my wife. FB is much easier without "friends" going on and on about menial stuff. I certainly wouldn't want to friend someone I'd never see again.
I do not have friends on FB. I set it up originally just to be able to see what it was like. I use it for raffles and stuff in which you need an account. As Hook'em mentioned some org's only post updates on there. Our YMCA is a good example. They post updates on FB along with all sorts of nonsense. Which as a mostly non FB user it drives me nuts. There's a Y app which never gets updated on say the pool schedule. Yet someone at the Y has all day to post pics and tidbits about who is wearing what. |
2016-08-10 6:19 PM in reply to: 0 |
Pro 15655 | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by trigal38 It's actually not as much because of what I do that I dont have a FB account as much as it is because of what I deal with as a result of FB because of what I do. (Yeah, don't worry, I'm trying to decipher that too lol)I could write 10 books about the dumb crap people do on FB (and other social media) that cause them pain and misery in life....some of it very serious.I have zero interest in being a part of it. I will spend my life without FB, twitter, snapchat, etc. I know what I'm missing........nothing. Originally posted by Left Brain What is Facebook? My 75 year old widowed mother is on FB. Get out from under your rock! Actually if I were in your profession I would not be on FB either. Edited by Left Brain 2016-08-10 6:21 PM |
2016-08-11 8:18 AM in reply to: Left Brain |
1943 , Kronobergs lan | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers I also know all the people I have on my list of facebook "friends" . Some of them I have only met virtually (via forums) but I still consider that I know them. that said, if I was you, I would maybe accept this request and put him on the "restricted" list to start with (they can only see your profile pictures and anything you post publically. Everything else is blocked for them). |
2016-08-11 1:02 PM in reply to: trigal38 |
1502 Katy, Texas | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Personally I think people go a bit overboard with the privacy thing. People see you, your home, your car, etc etc, all without facebook. Hundreds if not thousands of people every day. It's called going out in public. The thing is, most simply don't care. That goes for the internet as well. It's like when people post pictures of cars on the internet and blur the license plate. Let's just collectively think about this for a minute...if there was some big issue with random people seeing your license plate, then we'd be screwed. At least 100 have seen mine today (everybody that has driven behind me on my commute and my drive to the gym for a lunch swim). Tens of thousands will see it over the life of my car, if not 100,000's. Yet when you see a picture of a car on the internet the plate is blurred out. It's the same thing with you and your pictures. People see you, and your family, and your dog, daily. There is no secret underworld out there, well, there is, but exists just as much out your door as it does on the internet. None of us are famous and it's just not that big a deal. Not to be harsh, but people really don't care that much about you, or me or anyone other than the people around them. Let's all just relax a bit. Let's put this in perspective; since the day any of us were born, our name was enough to get our address and phone number. It was called a phone book. Yet now a days, if someone puts their address out there it is like, "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!? PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" Well, yeah, and it's been like that forever. To LB's point; it is a public forum, and what you write or post stays out there, so don't say or post anything you wouldn't want to say in a large group of people where they could all hear you and you'll be fine*. Again, not much different than being in public. Treat it like that and you'll be fine. *I don't know LB, but something tells me this little guideline wouldn't censor him very much. |
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2016-08-11 2:22 PM in reply to: 0 |
Pro 15655 | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by 3mar Personally I think people go a bit overboard with the privacy thing. People see you, your home, your car, etc etc, all without facebook. Hundreds if not thousands of people every day. It's called going out in public. The thing is, most simply don't care. That goes for the internet as well. It's like when people post pictures of cars on the internet and blur the license plate. Let's just collectively think about this for a minute...if there was some big issue with random people seeing your license plate, then we'd be screwed. At least 100 have seen mine today (everybody that has driven behind me on my commute and my drive to the gym for a lunch swim). Tens of thousands will see it over the life of my car, if not 100,000's. Yet when you see a picture of a car on the internet the plate is blurred out. It's the same thing with you and your pictures. People see you, and your family, and your dog, daily. There is no secret underworld out there, well, there is, but exists just as much out your door as it does on the internet. None of us are famous and it's just not that big a deal. Not to be harsh, but people really don't care that much about you, or me or anyone other than the people around them. Let's all just relax a bit. Let's put this in perspective; since the day any of us were born, our name was enough to get our address and phone number. It was called a phone book. Yet now a days, if someone puts their address out there it is like, "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!? PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" Well, yeah, and it's been like that forever. To LB's point; it is a public forum, and what you write or post stays out there, so don't say or post anything you wouldn't want to say in a large group of people where they could all hear you and you'll be fine*. Again, not much different than being in public. Treat it like that and you'll be fine. *I don't know LB, but something tells me this little guideline wouldn't censor him very much. Dude - I would blow twitter up. That's nothing but a hell hole sewer of misinformation posted by nitwits with double digit IQ's. Unfortunately for the rest of us, what gets "tweeted" these days passes for news with the dim bulb crowd.....and we all pay. Edited by Left Brain 2016-08-11 2:24 PM |
2016-08-11 3:26 PM in reply to: 3mar |
New user 1351 Austin, Texas | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by 3mar Personally I think people go a bit overboard with the privacy thing. People see you, your home, your car, etc etc, all without facebook. Hundreds if not thousands of people every day. It's called going out in public. The thing is, most simply don't care. That goes for the internet as well. It's like when people post pictures of cars on the internet and blur the license plate. Let's just collectively think about this for a minute...if there was some big issue with random people seeing your license plate, then we'd be screwed. At least 100 have seen mine today (everybody that has driven behind me on my commute and my drive to the gym for a lunch swim). Tens of thousands will see it over the life of my car, if not 100,000's. Yet when you see a picture of a car on the internet the plate is blurred out. It's the same thing with you and your pictures. People see you, and your family, and your dog, daily. There is no secret underworld out there, well, there is, but exists just as much out your door as it does on the internet. None of us are famous and it's just not that big a deal. Not to be harsh, but people really don't care that much about you, or me or anyone other than the people around them. Let's all just relax a bit. Let's put this in perspective; since the day any of us were born, our name was enough to get our address and phone number. It was called a phone book. Yet now a days, if someone puts their address out there it is like, "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!? PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" Well, yeah, and it's been like that forever. To LB's point; it is a public forum, and what you write or post stays out there, so don't say or post anything you wouldn't want to say in a large group of people where they could all hear you and you'll be fine*. Again, not much different than being in public. Treat it like that and you'll be fine. *I don't know LB, but something tells me this little guideline wouldn't censor him very much. Sometimes when people go crazy about privacy like that I'll tell them "You know there's actually a resource out there where if anyone knows your name they can find out both your phone number AND where you live"? They look shocked and then I tell them it's a phone book. |
2016-08-12 8:31 AM in reply to: 3mar |
Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by 3mar Personally I think people go a bit overboard with the privacy thing. People see you, your home, your car, etc etc, all without facebook. Hundreds if not thousands of people every day. It's called going out in public. The thing is, most simply don't care. That goes for the internet as well. It's like when people post pictures of cars on the internet and blur the license plate. Let's just collectively think about this for a minute...if there was some big issue with random people seeing your license plate, then we'd be screwed. At least 100 have seen mine today (everybody that has driven behind me on my commute and my drive to the gym for a lunch swim). Tens of thousands will see it over the life of my car, if not 100,000's. Yet when you see a picture of a car on the internet the plate is blurred out. It's the same thing with you and your pictures. People see you, and your family, and your dog, daily. There is no secret underworld out there, well, there is, but exists just as much out your door as it does on the internet. None of us are famous and it's just not that big a deal. Not to be harsh, but people really don't care that much about you, or me or anyone other than the people around them. Let's all just relax a bit. Let's put this in perspective; since the day any of us were born, our name was enough to get our address and phone number. It was called a phone book. Yet now a days, if someone puts their address out there it is like, "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!? PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" Well, yeah, and it's been like that forever. To LB's point; it is a public forum, and what you write or post stays out there, so don't say or post anything you wouldn't want to say in a large group of people where they could all hear you and you'll be fine*. Again, not much different than being in public. Treat it like that and you'll be fine. *I don't know LB, but something tells me this little guideline wouldn't censor him very much. I am not worked up about my privacy. I told him my name, he told me his. That is fine. I just don't understand the perspective of FBing everyone you've barely ever met. I was thinking more about purpose than privacy. My purpose of being on FB is to stay in touch with family and actual friends who know me and my family. I have a lot of cousins/family/friends who I like to laugh and share stories with but we don't see each other very often. Also friends from all over who have been there for me through some major life changes. For instance, if I post a photo of my Dad and I fishing - this guy I've barely met- does he know how my Dad tried to teach us to fish at a very young age? That Dad chartered a fishing boat every vacation to give us an adventure and those are some of my fondest memories? That Dad died 3 years ago and probably if I am posting this photo I am missing him? No, he knows nothing. My FB has become very vanilla because of friend requests like this. In my mind I'm curious why? I mean the thought never even crossed my mind that I would look for this guy on FB and want to send him a friend request. I didn't even remember his name or who he was. I don't need to read about him or whatever he posts because I don't even know him. I just don't understand that mindset - is it to have a lot of friends? Why? I block a whole lot of posts by people I actually know, I don't need strangers too lol. |
2016-08-12 8:50 AM in reply to: trigal38 |
Pro 15655 | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by trigal38 Originally posted by 3mar Personally I think people go a bit overboard with the privacy thing. People see you, your home, your car, etc etc, all without facebook. Hundreds if not thousands of people every day. It's called going out in public. The thing is, most simply don't care. That goes for the internet as well. It's like when people post pictures of cars on the internet and blur the license plate. Let's just collectively think about this for a minute...if there was some big issue with random people seeing your license plate, then we'd be screwed. At least 100 have seen mine today (everybody that has driven behind me on my commute and my drive to the gym for a lunch swim). Tens of thousands will see it over the life of my car, if not 100,000's. Yet when you see a picture of a car on the internet the plate is blurred out. It's the same thing with you and your pictures. People see you, and your family, and your dog, daily. There is no secret underworld out there, well, there is, but exists just as much out your door as it does on the internet. None of us are famous and it's just not that big a deal. Not to be harsh, but people really don't care that much about you, or me or anyone other than the people around them. Let's all just relax a bit. Let's put this in perspective; since the day any of us were born, our name was enough to get our address and phone number. It was called a phone book. Yet now a days, if someone puts their address out there it is like, "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!? PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" Well, yeah, and it's been like that forever. To LB's point; it is a public forum, and what you write or post stays out there, so don't say or post anything you wouldn't want to say in a large group of people where they could all hear you and you'll be fine*. Again, not much different than being in public. Treat it like that and you'll be fine. *I don't know LB, but something tells me this little guideline wouldn't censor him very much. I am not worked up about my privacy. I told him my name, he told me his. That is fine. I just don't understand the perspective of FBing everyone you've barely ever met. I was thinking more about purpose than privacy. My purpose of being on FB is to stay in touch with family and actual friends who know me and my family. I have a lot of cousins/family/friends who I like to laugh and share stories with but we don't see each other very often. Also friends from all over who have been there for me through some major life changes. For instance, if I post a photo of my Dad and I fishing - this guy I've barely met- does he know how my Dad tried to teach us to fish at a very young age? That Dad chartered a fishing boat every vacation to give us an adventure and those are some of my fondest memories? That Dad died 3 years ago and probably if I am posting this photo I am missing him? No, he knows nothing. My FB has become very vanilla because of friend requests like this. In my mind I'm curious why? I mean the thought never even crossed my mind that I would look for this guy on FB and want to send him a friend request. I didn't even remember his name or who he was. I don't need to read about him or whatever he posts because I don't even know him. I just don't understand that mindset - is it to have a lot of friends? Why? I block a whole lot of posts by people I actually know, I don't need strangers too lol. I agree with all of that......and for what it's worth, I'm sorry you lost your dad. The whole world misses guys who took their kids fishing.
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2016-08-12 8:52 AM in reply to: trigal38 |
1502 Katy, Texas | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers As for why; it may be just different uses. You use facebook as a means of keeping up with friends and family. A lot of people use facebook to find and connect with people of similar interest. If you go to the triathlon discussion group, you'll see what I mean. It is likely that he uses facebook to connect with other triathletes, discuss training, meet for rides and runs, etc. A lot of people do. So in your perspective, you see facebook solely as a means of communicating with family, so a stranger requesting friends seems weird to you. For him, and a lot of other people, they see facebook as a way to connect with other triathletes, so it would seem weird that you wouldn't want to connect with a local triathlete. There is no right or wrong way. People use it for different things. |
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2016-08-12 12:23 PM in reply to: 3mar |
Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Well that makes sense. I don't post my workouts on FB, that is what BT is for . Didn't even think of that. |
2016-08-12 1:38 PM in reply to: trigal38 |
1502 Katy, Texas | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by trigal38 Well that makes sense. I don't post my workouts on FB, that is what BT is for . Didn't even think of that. Ha. Well we are the minority. I am the same way and prefer BT for all things triathlon, and facebook for all things personal, however so many people are going to facebook for triathlon that it's getting pretty quiet around here. My brother for example has a facebook account but rarely, if ever posts or comments, etc. However, every morning he's on facebook looking on a group that connects triathletes in his area and meets up with whoever is out there doing a similar workout. That to me is weird because I'm pretty regimented on my training so it would be rare for someone to be doing the exact same thing as me, but he's more fluid. If people are doing an OWS, he'll do that, if they're riding, he'll do that. It doesn't matter if he knows them or not. So someone like him would probably friend request you without a second thought if he met you at a race. |
2016-08-12 7:22 PM in reply to: 3mar |
Master 6834 Englewood, Florida | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by 3mar As for why; it may be just different uses. You use facebook as a means of keeping up with friends and family. A lot of people use facebook to find and connect with people of similar interest. If you go to the triathlon discussion group, you'll see what I mean. It is likely that he uses facebook to connect with other triathletes, discuss training, meet for rides and runs, etc. A lot of people do. So in your perspective, you see facebook solely as a means of communicating with family, so a stranger requesting friends seems weird to you. For him, and a lot of other people, they see facebook as a way to connect with other triathletes, so it would seem weird that you wouldn't want to connect with a local triathlete. There is no right or wrong way. People use it for different things. I've been following this thread and you hit the nail on the head. Everyone uses FB (or Twitter or Instagram or Strava or...) for their own needs. I've tried to use FB for personal/family type stuff, but I do occasionally bleed over. To each their own. I will say that FB is a nice way to communicate. We do family reunion and other get together scheduling on there using groups and events, because so many folks use it. And for many of those type of things we have people in multiple time zones and whatnot, so they can keep uup on their own time. |
2016-08-29 1:31 PM in reply to: trigal38 |
Pro 6011 Camp Hill, Pennsylvania | Subject: RE: Facebook strangers Originally posted by trigal38 Originally posted by 3mar Personally I think people go a bit overboard with the privacy thing. People see you, your home, your car, etc etc, all without facebook. Hundreds if not thousands of people every day. It's called going out in public. The thing is, most simply don't care. That goes for the internet as well. It's like when people post pictures of cars on the internet and blur the license plate. Let's just collectively think about this for a minute...if there was some big issue with random people seeing your license plate, then we'd be screwed. At least 100 have seen mine today (everybody that has driven behind me on my commute and my drive to the gym for a lunch swim). Tens of thousands will see it over the life of my car, if not 100,000's. Yet when you see a picture of a car on the internet the plate is blurred out. It's the same thing with you and your pictures. People see you, and your family, and your dog, daily. There is no secret underworld out there, well, there is, but exists just as much out your door as it does on the internet. None of us are famous and it's just not that big a deal. Not to be harsh, but people really don't care that much about you, or me or anyone other than the people around them. Let's all just relax a bit. Let's put this in perspective; since the day any of us were born, our name was enough to get our address and phone number. It was called a phone book. Yet now a days, if someone puts their address out there it is like, "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!? PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" Well, yeah, and it's been like that forever. To LB's point; it is a public forum, and what you write or post stays out there, so don't say or post anything you wouldn't want to say in a large group of people where they could all hear you and you'll be fine*. Again, not much different than being in public. Treat it like that and you'll be fine. *I don't know LB, but something tells me this little guideline wouldn't censor him very much. I am not worked up about my privacy. I told him my name, he told me his. That is fine. I just don't understand the perspective of FBing everyone you've barely ever met. I was thinking more about purpose than privacy. My purpose of being on FB is to stay in touch with family and actual friends who know me and my family. I have a lot of cousins/family/friends who I like to laugh and share stories with but we don't see each other very often. Also friends from all over who have been there for me through some major life changes. For instance, if I post a photo of my Dad and I fishing - this guy I've barely met- does he know how my Dad tried to teach us to fish at a very young age? That Dad chartered a fishing boat every vacation to give us an adventure and those are some of my fondest memories? That Dad died 3 years ago and probably if I am posting this photo I am missing him? No, he knows nothing. My FB has become very vanilla because of friend requests like this. In my mind I'm curious why? I mean the thought never even crossed my mind that I would look for this guy on FB and want to send him a friend request. I didn't even remember his name or who he was. I don't need to read about him or whatever he posts because I don't even know him. I just don't understand that mindset - is it to have a lot of friends? Why? I block a whole lot of posts by people I actually know, I don't need strangers too lol. Like others said, everyone uses FB in whatever way suits them. As a small business owner, FB is a good source of business for me. A large network contributes to my ability to put food on the table, so I friend everyone I can. Regarding the thing about not sharing really personal things with everyone, one of the features of FB that most people don't seem to utilize is the ability to create different types of friends who have different security levels. For example, "Family" would see everything, "Close Friends" would see most things, and "Acquaintances" would see almost nothing. When you post something, you click on the friend type you want to see your post.
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Psychology behind Stranger Scolding Pages: 1 2 3 | |||
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