Drive and clarity of purpose: what am I?

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So, you're obviously the big dick...
                ...and that, on either side of you, are your balls.
                There are two types of balls:
                There are big brave balls, and there are little faggot balls.
 These are your last words so make them a prayer.
                Dicks have drive and clarity of vision...
                ...but they're not clever.
                They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action.
                And you thought you smelled some good old pussy...
                ...and have brought your two little faggot balls along...
                ...for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up.
                There's no pussy here...
                ...just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman.
                Like a *****...
                ...you're having second thoughts.
                You're shrinking.
                And your two little balls are shrinking with you.
                The fact that you've got "Replica" written on the side of your gun...
                ...and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle .  "...
                ...written on the side of mine...
                ...should precipitate...
                ...your balls into shrinking, along with your presence.
                Now...
                ...**** off.

I thought he was the object of squirrelly madness.

I feel like this thread is a fast movin train.  If I dont get on now, itll be gone...

Chris!!

tick...tick...tick...tick...tick....

I thought this was one of autumn's quizzes...

              You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece.
              Apparently, the best thing to do...
              ...is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Would someone mind telling me, who are you?
              When you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them.
              It's no good leaving it in the freezer for your mum to discover.
              Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs.
              You gotta starve the pigs for a few days...
              ...then the chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead.
              You gotta shave the heads of your victims and pull the teeth out...
              ...for the piggies' digestion.
              You could do this afterwards, of course...
              ...but you don't want to sieve through pigsht, do you?
              They will go through bone like butter.
              You need at least    pigs to finish the job in one sitting...
              ...so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm.
              They will go through a body that weighs     pounds...
              ...in about eight minutes.
              That means that a single pig...
              ...can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh...
              ...every minute.
              Hence the expression...
              ..."as greedy as a pig".
Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind.
Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the *uck you are...
...apart from someone who feeds people to pigs, of course.
              Do you know what "nemesis" means?
              "A righteous infliction of retribution...
              ...manifested by an appropriate agent."
              Personified, in this case, by a horrible *unt:
              Me.

Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible ****... me

snatch?

Very subtle.

You guys are weird!