NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE (Page 2)

oh, and happy holidays!!!

CHILL PILL, anyone?

Personally, I though the original post was funny. But, it also got me thinking. If we (The USA) actually participated diplomatically on a global scale (you know, pesky things like the United Nations and the Geneva Convention), how would I respond to my electorated representatives? Call me Martin and point me to a door. Remember, this is all in fun Steve, how about this - you can be George Washington and I'll play the part of Thomas Paine...

-Frank

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TO: Queen Elizabeth II
RE: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

We are currently in receipt of your revocation notice. Having reviewed it, we decline to relinquish our hard fought (and won) independence. Please reference our previous document entitled "Declaration of Independence." The language within said document, not to mention the title, clearly states that we declared our independence. Had the document been called "Application for Independence" and independence granted, you might have a point. Since that is not the case, please feel free to suck eggs.

Oh, and if we were to be given a new Prime Minister, we would choose Bobby Sands MP.

Had your notice of revocation had any merit, some of your 16 rules could not have been implemented for the following reasons:
1. This is an edict, not a rule. We just thought that we should point that out. We humbly request that you look up "rule" in the dictionary. We do not think it means what you think it means. Aluminum has one i, not 2. Those of us in the 21st century know this to be fact. In the future, do not confuse brevity and efficiency for laziness. What we have done is taken all of the really good ideas from languages other than English and used them to improve an outdated model.

2. Again, this is an opinion, not a rule. Please feel to notify Microsoft that the following countries are using imaginary languages too: Mexico, Guatemala, Belieze, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama, the Greater and Lesser Antilles, Ecuador, Columbia, Venezuela, Brazil, Peru, Bolivia, Paraguay, Uruguay, Chile, Argentina, Guyana, Suriname, French Guiana and anywhere in Africa that has had it's aboriginal languages obliterated - oh, and Quebec.

3. What, another edict? We have accents in the same country too. Get over it. Besides, we know the difference between Crocodile Dundee and 007. Their weapons are vastly different. That's really all that matters to us.

4. Finally, a rule. The reason that Brits are cast as bad guys is that everyone know that when foreign bad guys speak to each other on screen, they do it in the Queen's English - duh. How well do you think "Die Hard" would have done at the box office if the German bank robbers spoke to each other in German. We'd have to use subtitles and that would require us to read. We go to movies to be entertained, not educated.

5. What does edict 1 have to do with your national anthem? If "God Save the Queen" is such a great national anthem, why hasn't it been covered by a pop musician? Jimi Hendrix did the "Star Spangled Banner" and Rush do "Oh Canada." I don't remeber hearing "God Save the Queen" on Duran Duran's Notorious album. We'll stick with the one we have. Just be thankfull we let you run back home after that War of 1812 thing and all we did was write a song about it. Heck, even the Russians know how cool we were after that one. By the way, was that like your "Bay of Pigs?"

6. OK, we'll give you this one. But, you need to quit watching too.

7. Um, yeah. Go ahead and try - again.

8. Would we still get the day off from work though? That's really all we care about. Please being that one up with the labor unions. I'm sure they'd be happy to concede that one. What's the next holiday you wish to take? Opening day of deer season? Please see item 7. Besides, we already celebrate November 2nd. Each of us gets to take part in deciding the leader of our country. True, we're not a democracy, but a representative republic has got to be a better idea than a country who still has a queen? Right?

9. That's fine. But if you think we're going to drive some overpriced German battle tank, you're sorely mistaken. Everyone knows that German automakers just rip off the Japanese - they just run 2 years behind. Unless this has to do with trying to get the "mini" back into vogue. Newsflash for you - when BMW started making them, they ceased to be a British automobile. Besides, my big German dogs won't fit in an MG.

10. We actually have "chips" available in many restaurants - Long John Silver, Arthur Treachers. If you don't like our fried foods, nothing says that you have to eat them. And yes, we do know about Belgium. That's where Hoegaarden beer comes from and it's to the northeast of that country that does the Tour de France. You know, the one that you built that tunnel thingy with.

11. No problem, we don't drink tea.

12. You're right that far too many of us think that beer is fuel for pissing contests. But, when you spend you whole paycheck in the last week of June for incindiary celebratory devices, you can't afford much for beer. Tell you what - recognize that the true form of pudding is a dry powder that comes in a box and we'll talk.

13. Um, no. We only set prices on pork, milk and high fructose corn syrup.

14. But without gus, how can we deal with therapists and lawyers?

15. We'd tell you, but then we'd have to kill you.

16. File the paperwork with the IRS. If you can figure out how to get money from them, good for you.

-We the people

John Clease only if he gallops in followed by a paige banging coconuts
together!!!

I would hope the Marine would laugh his ass off. It is also nice to know that he is fighting for your way of life. I thought that freedom, including freedom of speech, was what we all wanted. As a vet, having spent 10 years in the US Navy, I voluntarily gave up some freedoms, so that we as a country would have greater freedoms. I did not let someone serve in my place. I was there. Where were you? PS: What are your core beliefs? Crappy beer or boring sports? Yeah, I know, now you want to kick my ass. Great, get in line with everyone else.

oh my....sucba-punk....that was FUNNY!
now if you start doing odes we'll have to swoon to you......

Now if only John Clease would respond.....with the coconut banging page, of course....

It is soo interesting that the rest of the world has to continually look for ways to degrade the U.S while at the same time:

1. Try their best to keep their citizenry from leaving for the U.S

2. Come with outstretched hands for the American dollar whenever thir own pitiful alliances and social experiment governments fail.

We laugh at ourselves and the circus that is the rest of the world.

That's the only way he travels I believe...

Scubapunk, that was excellent.

Scuba punk, whats up with all the Britain bashing?

And yet its VERY funny...

I have also come across people while I was travelling who didn't like me just because I was an American I ignored them for what they are: bigots - no different from people who don't like me for my race or religion or anything else. BUt they shouldn't be confused with those who simply hold a view different than my own, such as this post. Who knows, maybe soccer is better than american football (its not, but thats not the point). If it gets you to consider views other than your own this is always good, even if you don't agree with the views & it doesn't change your mind. I don't even think this post was meant to do that anyway, I think it was just meant to poke fun at the differences between Britain & America.

& well put Daytona Bill, I was thinking the same thing about the core beliefs.

because we cant spell b.....ur......Baar......bear......brere......brre......brie......ahhh bugger it, the amber liquid!!!!!

I'm glad some of you got my point. Like I said, the original post cracked me up. But it did get me thinking about what my "beliefs" (I really hate to call them that) are about this country. I don't see my citizenship as a right because it's not. It's a privilege and with that comes the responsibility of knowing what it means. Sure, we can defend ourselves with smartbombs and full auto carbines, but that's easy. Any industrialised nation can do that. Me, I'd like to think that if I want to ramble on about how great this place is, I HAVE to be able to make a lucid point of why I like it so much that I stay. Do I think that the USA is the best country in the world? Not really. But, I think that it stands a great chance of being one of, if not THE best- so I'll stay here and write to my representatives and vote - making choices that I can defend without resulting to "party-line drivel." Just my 2psi,

-Frank

nope.......but I am sure the other countries being bashed....either physically or economically find it slighltly empowering to metaphorically bash the US......

This is just therepy.


but to let you know I do like most of the people I have met from the US and I have had good reports form family who have LIVED in the US.......but the one consistant thing is you seem to think that YOUR way is the ONLY way.......just an observation not ment to attack you personally.

enjoy your christmas feast...........

ahhh....well put my good fellow....

ROFLMAO

OH GOD NOW i AM WETTING MY SELF.......

oh lordy....not only am I wetting myself but snot is dribbling from my nose........

I am so very glad and at the same time very sad that this post has had such an negative effect on so many people.....yet is has strangly had a positive effect as well.

but just for your info:

1) I was just poking fun at both the US tall poppy syndrome and the British Pomposness. Remember the Brits USED to be the most powerful country in the world.......they need to feel they are still that.

2) Australia , like the US, was once a colony ofthe Brits.....we poke fun at the Brits because they once ruled us and now they dont and we poke fun at the Yanks because they are popular and we are not. oh and also they are white and pasty and dont bath.

3) we have Elle Mcpherson!....who likes vegimite!.....

4) It was funny to me....some people have the same sense of humour as me.....it was the first time I had read the thing......

5) I have now forwarded on to all my Brittish mates your heart felt and numberd replies to the notice....they have ALL replied with mock indignation and humour.


I hope you all have a wonderful holiday.

keep safe.

Spanner

Look, if you have a racist black joke, do you walk up to the first black guy you see, refer to him as nigger, then tell him the joke? I'm guessing not, but that's what you did when you posted that "joke" on this predominantly American site. While the Declaration of Independence may be a joke to some, it means quite a bit more to others, especially those that celebrate July 4th.

As to the squid that questions my loyalty to this country, I served in the USAF during Desert Storm, so you to can goto hell for thinking that you are better than me just because you served (and assumed that I didn't). Even if I hadn't served, it doesn't make you a bigger/better patriot than I. Also, just because he has the freedom of speech, doesn't mean that I have to be tolerant of it. While you may be fine with and sit idley by while the "KKK" is parading down your street yelling "white power", it doesn't mean that I have to be fine with it. Have a little backbone and stand up for what's right.

I can't stand it when others want to piss on our country as though we shouldn't be bothered by it, then say "it's just a joke" when it does. This isn't about political correctness, this is about listening to what your mom told you "if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say it at all" when you were five.

Hey, I just watched an episode of "South Park" where Kiley and his friends go to "Canada" to speak to the new Prime Minister.  Canadians are portrayed as pathetic cowards and lunatics and the Prime Minister turns out to be Saddam Hussein!?!  Should I be terribly offended or was I right to think that it was funny? 

Hey Chucky, Before this turns into a flame war maybe you should take your mothers advice, don't say anything at all. Why are you so overexcited about this thread? This is not promoting the Klan. It is not ruining America. Why all the anger? I let the squid comment go with out a response(unless you count this one). Is it your belief that, "This is America, love it or leave it?" How does that help? I know that we will not be able to have an open talk about this. I will let it go. I'm not that interested in continuing this thread.

Why am I so overexited? Are you kidding? There are Saudi's hijacking planes and piloting them into a couple of towers in New York. My nephew at the ripe young age of 19 is serving in Iraq for your freedom to spout off at the mouth. There are cowards blowing themselves up and taking Americans with them in chow lines. There are people of all nationalities getting their heads cut off as though they were cattle. Maybe you find it funny, but I don't. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with American's telling me what is wrong with this country in an honest debate. But the last thing I want to hear is some second world countryman telling me why we are screwed up and laughing at me in the process. What would your dad say (who probably served in Korea or Vietnam)? What would your Grandfather say (who probably served in WWI or WWII)? Would he be okay with this? When did it become okay to laugh at our country, our president, and our history?

I have a feeling Spanner is just sitting back laughing at us fight it out.

calling other countries second world is not only belittleing and disrespecting them and their values (the same values many of their troops are fighting along side ours to protect) but also just reinforcing the stereotype of America as arronagant & conceited which is what this post was poking fun at in the first place. Whether the stereotypes are true or not, how we are perceived by the world has consequences and if someone from another country wants to have a dig at me, my beliefs in the values America (and our allies) stands for are strong enough that it won't make a difference what they say. The world is not a vacuum - what America says and does has consequences for the rest of the world - unlike, say, Finland. So if those who are affected by our policies want to criticize how they are being affected, thats fine with me. Its one of the rights EVERYONE living in a free society has, and is a not only the property of the US. Shouldn't America be doing everything we can to spread these values? I would only be offended if people weren't allowed to voice their criticisms. This wasn't a kkk post extolling hate, it was a joke: intended to make you think about how America projects itself to the rest of the world and the consequences and making fun of our love of delicous, cold, cold beer in the meantime. If you are offended by it, that's fine, but others have just as much right to think its funny.

My only dissapointment is that I can't work A Fish Called Wanda in to this somehow. I think Rgr's post was the highpoint. I too once went 4 days without showering. Oh wait, you said months....

Hope EVERYONE has a merry Christmas

No....not sitting back laughing at you.....just sitting here gobsmacked .

No....not sitting back laughing at you.....just sitting here gobsmacked .