Becoming Sober (Page 31)

Have you actually admitted to yourself what will happen if you quit?  How many problems will it add to the burdens you already carry?  When you admit to the truth, most times it's easier to be sober.

I've had people tell me that I should be at a meeting as many nights a week as I drank. I've had people tell me that I should do two or more meetings a day if I can find the time, and if I can't that I should make the effort to make the time.

My feeling is this:  My life was unmanageable because I let something dictate my life to me, and I didn't get sober to spend every waking moment in church basements.  So why would I replace an obsession with alcohol with an obsession with AA?  That's not what AA and sobriety is supposed to be.  It's our classroom where we learn how to live, not our monastery where we hide from life; and that learning is useless if we don't get out and LIVE.

I NEED meetings, but I also NEED time for myself. So, I have a few meetings per week that I make every effort to not miss.  They are home groups, and I try to stay active with all of them.  The rest of the days, I try to actually have a LIFE.  That thing I deprived myself of while letting alcohol and compulsions rule me.  With perhaps the recent exception of HIM training, I try to avoid taking anything to extremes and instead try to just get what I NEED.  What that is will vary from person to person, but for ME, that is not a meeting every day.  For me, it means regular contact with people in the program, most importantly my sponsor. It means a few meetings per week, and it means that I live the 12 Steps on a daily basis.  Living the Steps isn't taxing or a burden.... actually, it's pretty damned easy. You just focus on doing the next Right thing, take care of your side of the street, and help others when asked (if you can).

I have no clue how much of that rambling makes sense, but hopefully something in there helps somebody

I get what you are saying.  Since no two people are alike, it is reasonable to assume that everyone needs a varying quantity of support.  What will work for me will not work for you.  In AA, I found that a lot of folks needed a massive amount of support while others used AA as a transition tool.  It is extremely important that you find your own balance!

Are AA folks talking at all about the new pope being a Jesuit?  As the 12 steps have some roots in Ignation Spirituality aka the Jesuits, I would think the sober crowd might be taking note.

Ebshot, good to hear you are so determined not to go back to drinking; you gave me pause when you said you were tired.  I'm a bit confused; is it the AA work that is exhausting for you? 

Rushtogether, are you still out there?  Let us know how you are doing?

I used AA as a transitional tool. Went every day for 6o days and then 5-6 a week for the next 3 1/2 months. I found a sponsor that lived and breathed the program. He was able to pinpoint the reason I never quite managed to make sobriety stick. Once I understood that, I stopped going to meetings. I never even went back for my 6 month chip. I realize my results aren't typical and don't encourage anyone to follow my example, but I've managed to make it work without AA being an integral part of my life. 

Hi All,

I read this article http://www.spectator.co.uk/features/8857821/fixing-a-hole/and thought of you all.  I've never heard of this guy but love his writing style.

Hope all is well where ever you are.

Annie

How free do you want to be?

How much work are YOU worth?

I grew up with a step-father who didn't drink often but when he did it always ended up with me waking up in the middle of the night to his yelling.  At 18 I went downstairs, confronted him and got in a fight with him.  I was respectful enough not to strike him but I took him to the ground and submitted him.  I then got up and left the house.  A month later I left home for the Navy and didn't speak to him for about the next 10 years.  We never spoke about it but we are now on good terms.  As a life lesson, I simply have never had a desire to drink.  Ironically, I have a steel rod in my leg from being hit by a drunk driver in a 60/60 mph head on crash.

I have no positive experiences with alcohol but I view it the way I vew firearms.  Be responsible, accountable for your actions and know what  you are doing.  I don't judge those who choose to use either of them.  I believe we need to punish those who hurt others. 

You are and you look awesome. {MELON PRESS}

That first year is the toughest, by far.  As long as you've surrendered, you'll soon find that things just get simpler and easier.

Life gets GOOD, and it just keeps getting better.  

I'm doing well these days.  Still happily sober, and just celebrated my 7th anniversary on June 30th.  I've recently started dating someone, and I generally just didn't know that life could be this good

Originally posted by ebshot Today I have 1 year sober.  Hard to believe all that has happened this year.  I have put in the work and I am feeling great.  Life is good. 

Holy smokes!  Yay!!!

Congrats, Erica 

The hardest one is behind you; and it just keeps getting better.  Always remember to have gratitude, and live the Four Absolutes, and you cannot go wrong.

Originally posted by ebshot Today I have 1 year sober.  Hard to believe all that has happened this year.  I have put in the work and I am feeling great.  Life is good. 

Congratulations, Erica, that is fantastic!